Lady Gaga edit
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I've listed this article for peer review because it recently has gone through lots of changes and has been a GA since 2010. It would be nice to see how this can be further improved before going for FA. I've been working on this for a while with FrB.TG, GagaNutella, and IndianBio.
Thanks, Snuggums (talk / edits) 03:50, 12 March 2016 (UTC)
Brief comment by JennKR
- Unfortunately, I don't have time to provide a full review, but I wandered on here after Googling "Lady Gaga" to find something and the preview of Wikipedia given there highlighted the second sentence to me ("She is known for her self-empowering messages, fashion, and live performances"). Taken with the whole first paragraph which explains her musical beginnings, this particular sentence reads a little disjointed. It seems like the beginning of a "legacy paragraph" (c.f. Madonna, Michael Jackson) which aims to summarize a career, but then never really takes off. My suggestion would be to either move the sentence down into the final paragraph of the lead, or perhaps rearrange the lead so the first paragraph gives an insight into her career in the way the leads of Madonna and Michael Jackson do. Best of luck to you Snuggums and all other editors involved on hopefully another music FA! —JennKR | ☎ 19:36, 12 March 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks Jenn. I do agree that it didn't quite flow right, but couldn't really think of a good way to fix that at first. I moved that down to the third paragraph and reworded it a bit. Snuggums (talk / edits) 20:40, 12 March 2016 (UTC)
- So true. Thanks for the comment! GagaNutellatalk 22:44, 12 March 2016 (UTC)
I am requesting Tomica to give some input. Tomica will you kindly take a look into the article? —IB [ Poke ] 16:13, 31 March 2016 (UTC)
- Comments by Tomica
- Okay, so in the lead I see a non-consistency of her sales figures with the List of best-selling music artists. Can we fix this issue and say that Lady Gaga simply sold 114 million records worldwide?
- I really like the 1986–2004: Early life section, the only thing I noted is that you should add nee in the Brackets for her mother maiden name, I guess...
- Shouldn't information about her sexual assault be included in the 2005–07: Career beginnings or the upper-mentioned section? She was raped right? Or am I wrong?
- By 2008, Gaga relocated to Los Angeles in order to work extensively with her record label to complete her debut album, The Fame, and set up her own creative team called the Haus of Gaga, modeled on Andy Warhol's Factory.[31][46] It was released on August 19, 2008, with positive reception. ---> When you read this it's unclear whether The Fame or Haus of Gaga was released. Please clarify.
- and reached the top two in the US ---> Simply saying number-two it's much more better than the top-two IMO.
- The sentence is too long (regarding the upper issue). Can you please c/e by using a semicolon between the charts and the Grammy achievements
- Regarding her involvement with the MJ touring and concerts, can you clarify what happened so the tour was cancelled? It's kinda vague when you read it.
- Please use US before Billboard Hot 100 and Billboard 200
- Taylor Kinney it's a WP:OVERLINK in the 2015–present: American Horror Story and fifth studio album section
- The upper-mentioned section is kind of messed up with the dates, I mean it goes into 2015 then 2016 then comes back into 2015 again, I think a little bit of restructuring would be nice.
- Hi Tomica, I was wondering if you are waiting for us to resolve these topics above so you can keep your review lol GagaNutellatalk 02:06, 12 April 2016 (UTC)