Joseph Cheesman Thompson edit
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2009.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…after adding a photo and considerable data about Commander Thompson, I really like this article and want to know whether it needs more work or could be assessed as a good or featured article.
Thanks, S. M. Sullivan (talk) 05:51, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
Comment: What article is this review request for (note redlink)? Brianboulton (talk) 23:18, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
- The PR request was on the page Talk:Joseph Cheesman Thompson/Comments, so it got listed in the wrong place. I think I fixed it. Ruhrfisch ><>°° 01:52, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: I think this is a long way from being ready for WP:GAN, let along WP:FAC. Here are some suggestions for improvement.
- Please see WP:WIAGA for the Good Article criteria and WP:WIAFA for the Featured Article criteria. GA articles must be braod in coverage, and ref 1 (the most cited in the article) is called " "The Psychoanalytic Roots of Scientology" but this article does not mention that. FA articles must be comprehensive, which is even more difficult.
- Articles also have to meet the WP:Five pillars including WP:NPOV - not mentioning the connection to Scientology seems very POV
- The talk page makes serious accusations of plagiarism, so here is your text from the last section:
- After retiring from the Navy in 1929, Dr. Thompson moved to San Francisco, where he was one of very few psychoanalysts. On March 7, 1943, Joseph Cheesman Thompson died of a heart attack in San Francisco, at the age of 68. His obituary in the San Francisco Chronicle mentioned his widow, Mrs. Hilda Thompson, and a very special Siamese cat, known as Pak Kwai Mau, or 'White Devil Cat.' (He left $10,000 in the bank in Pak Kwai Mau's name.)[1]
- Here is the corresponding passage from this source:
- Joseph C. Thompson died in San Francisco of a heart attack on March 7, 1943, at the age of 68. His obituary in the San Francisco Chronicle speaks of his having left his wife Mrs. Hilda Thompson, as well as his very special Siamese cat known as "Pak Kwai Mau," ("White Devil Cat"). Thompson left in the bank some $10,000 in his cat's name.
- While some changes have been mbetween the original text and the current article, I agree that it seems close to plagiarism - see [[1]]
- Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, date published, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
- Finally there is very little narrative thread here. This seems to be a series on incidents cobbled together with little connection. We do not learn much about his parents and his wife is mentioned but once (as his widow). When did they meet and marry? While a fair amount of work has gone into the article, it needs a lot more to get up to GA let alone FA.
- A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow. There are over 600 Biography FAs at Category:FA-Class biography articles and the guidelines at Wikipedia:WikiProject_Biography#Tips_for_writing_biographies are also good advice.
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 20:10, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch, Thanks for your comments. I was unable to find any data about Dr. Thompson's parents or his widow. The Scientology connection is really a connection to L. Ron Hubbard, as Dr. Thompson died before Scientology had ever been thought of.S. M. Sullivan (talk) 04:55, 22 June 2009 (UTC)