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Hi, all. I'd like to get this article to FA-status in the future; any comments on how it could be improved would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks, Pamzeis (talk) 08:59, 6 June 2024 (UTC)
LunaEclipse
editGoing to review this article's references in a bit. I currently have a peer review open for DJ Kool Herc, it would be nice if you checked it out.
OK, here are my comments:
- I would recommend removing the Ty Burr citation, as self-published sources, even if authored by experts, are prohibited in biographies of living persons.
- I'm unsure of Collider's credibility, as it is a Valnet property, and such websites are known to be content farms/mills.
- Speaking of Valnet, there's a handful of Comic Book Resources citations here. These articles were all published after 2016 and are unreliable.
🌙Eclipse (talk) (contribs) 14:10, 6 June 2024 (UTC)
- Hiya, LunaEclipse! Thanks for your comments—I've removed Ty Burr's blog and any Valnet-owned sources. I'll try and review DJ Kool Herc by the end of next week. Again, thanks. Pamzeis (talk) 14:12, 8 June 2024 (UTC)
Joeyquism
editHello Pamzeis! This will be my first contribution to a PR; delighted to be reviewing your article! Some things I'm noticing below:
- Her mother attempted to distract her with activities... — The meaning is obvious, but would benefit from adding the word "other" before "activities"; there's a subtle implication that acting does not fall under "activities" with this wording.
Done
- ...adding that her family "keep [her] feet on the ground". — Should be "keep[s]", if I'm not mistaken; in American English the word "family" is treated as a single unit. A bit of a pedantic point, but the article is tagged American English, and my American brain clocked it as a bit strange.
- Done
- Otherwise, it's very well-written as it stands. Well done!
- Thanks!
- Images look good as far as Creative Commons licensing goes (the one in the main infobox is of exceptional quality for a YouTube screenshot - I wish I could find good screengrabs like that more often). The audio clip of her voice LGTM too.
- Sources all look WP:RS at a cursory glance.
- Thank you for providing alt text for the images :)
- MOS:LEADLENGTH feels a bit short given the 3000+ word count – you could likely expound a little bit more on her other ventures and her artistry within reason, I understand you've gone over most of her career highlights in the lead already
Hi, Joeyquism! A belated welcome to PR! Hope you decide to stick around. Apologies for not responding earlier; I have not been the most active on wiki lately. I will try to resolve your comment on the lead (though writing leads are definitely not my strong point), but I may rework some sections of the article before I do so. Thanks for the comments :) Pamzeis (talk) 10:09, 23 June 2024 (UTC)