Wikipedia:Peer review/Iranian Revolution/archive1
This was the COTW in June 2004. I put it up on WP:FAC in December 2004 (here is its sub-page) but objections were raised about:
- lack of information on the number of people killed or who fled the country under the new regime
- references - it has "further reading"
- section on post-revolutionary impact is too short
- POV was said to be anti-shah and/or cleric (apparently a lot of people welcomed the Shah's modernization and westernization, and, for example, women lost a lot of their rights after the revolution)
This is still one of the best ex-COTWs and I'd like to get it up to featured status: I don't think it is far off. -- ALoan (Talk) 13:25, 28 Feb 2005 (UTC)
Yes it looks pretty good overall. One sentence did catch my eye though: it began, "During this three-day..." and concerned the 2500yr celebration of the founding of the Persian Empire. But the sentence did not include a conclusion. — RJH 18:47, 28 Feb 2005 (UTC)
It's looking quite good. I tightened up the intro paragraphs a bit, but they could still use a little more tweaking. They provide a good overview of events, but would benefit by being more concise. Also:
- The first section, "Precursors", begins a little too abruptly. The beginning of Pahlavi's rule in 1941, rather than its resumption in 1953, would be a better starting point. The rest of this section looks good, but would be better if the writing were made more precise. Sentences "The dominant theology..." and "These included..." could be merged, the "Inflation accelerated..." sentence is kind of hard to parse and the rest of the paragraph could use some polishing, etc.
- "Pre-revolutionary conditions" could be more neutral. It comes across being strongly anti-Shah; by focusing on all the negative things the Shah did, it gives the impression he was universally hated. Certainly the Shah maintained some support during this time; why did they support him? And the same for later sections. I think in order to understand why so many revolted against the Shah, it would help to know why so many others remained loyal.
- "Overthrow of the Shah", same issue. Perhaps it's because I'm reading this from a U.S. perspective, but I can't understand how anyone could support a Shah who continues to kill hundreds of protesters. Obviously, by this point most of the population is saying "we can't let this guy do whatever the f. he wants", yet some remain loyal; why?
- During the period leading up to the Shah's overthrow, it'd be good to see more development on how Khomeini, among the opposition leaders, came to be chosen. He is leading a "small faction" in 1977, the press attacks him in 1978, and he has majority support in 1979. That's about all we get. I'd like to know more about why he became the people's choice.
- The "Consolidation of power" section is organized rather differently from the rest; making this consistent with the rest would help, I think.
Aside from that, I'd say it's mostly a matter of polishing the style a bit and tightening up the narrative flow, and it'd be near-featured status. Nice work! -- Wapcaplet 20:02, 28 Feb 2005 (UTC)
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If I may add about the last point (excuse me if this is not the right place to add), revolutions do not require a majority of the people's support. A majority of American people weren't beholden to Washington in 1776. A majority of the Russian people did not support Lenin's Bolsheviks in 1917. A majority of Ukrainians did not support Yukashenko in 2004. I seriously doubt a majority of the Iranian people supported Khomeini in 1979. All you need for a revolution is a sufficient mass number, which needs be nowhere near a majority. That part of the article almost certainly needs correction.