Wikipedia:Peer review/Ipswich 2006 serial murders/archive1

Ipswich 2006 serial murders edit

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I've listed this article for peer review because it is a detailed and well sourced article about a widely publicised series of events. I think the tone is appropriate, the information well sourced, and the article in general is an important event.

Thanks, Blammermouth (talk) 00:23, 25 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: It is obvious a lot of work and research has gone into this article and it is generally well written and referenced. Good photos too. Here are some more specific suggestions:

Please expand the lead section per WP:LEAD to be a summary of the whole article.
Victims section repeats much of the sepcific information in the first paragraph a second time in the paragraphs on each victim - perhaps the first paragraph could be more of a summary and more chronological (start with the disappearances, then finding the bodies) and also mention some of the details common to each victim. For example at least four of the vitims were found naked, none were sexually assaulted, several were found in water, at least two in a cruciform position, and all were drug addicts who were sex workers to support their habits.
The tone of the victims section and the photos are handled just right, well done.
Police investigation section - need a reference for the direct quote: At a 10 December press conference, detectives from the Suffolk Constabulary issued a warning to all women in Ipswich not to work on the streets, and said they had received offers of assistance from neighbouring police forces, particularly Norfolk, in their "hunt for the killer or killers".
Would the "Possible Lamplugh link" section work better as a subsection of the Wright biography?
I would make the Timeline into an actual table. The external links for locations are odd - you can add coordinates directly to Wikipedia or link the articles on the nearest locations. This may also be a candidate to be a subarticle (see WP:Summary style). Would it make sense to color code the vitims in the table to make it clearer (light blue background is first victim, etc.)?

Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 21:36, 12 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]