Ipsita Roy Chakraverti edit
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I believe this is an extremely interesting article on a woman, who fought against all odds and became what she wanted to be. She declared herself as a witch in a country, where the very word itself is a taboo. I have developed the article in accordance to the GA standards, just want my fellow reviewers to correct any prose or structure related problems in the articl, especially prose. My English not that good. :(
Thanks, --Legolas (talk2me) 11:07, 31 May 2010 (UTC)
Finetooth comments: This is a good start on an article about an interesting woman. However, in my view it has a POV problem in that it presents the hidden powers of witches, crystals, amber balls, wands, and other beings or objects as though their supposed powers can be verified by reliable sources. Some of the journalists in the "1996–2004: Election candidacy, Beloved Witch and Sacred Evil" section express doubts about the mysticism or at least Chakraverti's version of it, but in places the article presents Chakraverti assertions about special healing powers as facts rather than assertions. I think it's possible to find reliable sources for biographical claims and claims about publications, therapy sessions, public meetings, and other physical phenomena, but I don't see how it's possible to find reliable sources to support claims about the supernatural. It's not hard to believe that Chakraverti, who seems pretty dynamic and persuasive, can convince other people that crystals or something else will heal them. It's not hard to believe that she can help other people with problems related to self-esteem or depression. What is difficult to believe is that crystals or amber balls or wands do the healing. I think you could improve the article by being careful not to claim that what she is saying is true or false but simply to report that she said it. It would also be good if you could include more analysis by critics, not just of her books, but of her methods and her claims. She says she is a witch; anti-witch people say that witches are evil, but where are the critics who say the argument is a lot of nonsense, that nobody is a witch? (I am reminded of a scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail that satirizes a test to determine whether a woman is a witch or a duck.) Here are a few other comments:
- I don't have time to copyedit the article from top to bottom, but I agree with you that it needs a copyedit. For example, a sentence in the lead says, "Amidst the backlash that followed her declaration, Chakraverti explained to the media regarding the Neo Pagan ways of Wicca and its healing power." I'd suggest something like "During the backlash that followed her declaration, Chakraverti explained the Neopagan ways of Wicca and its claims of healing power to the media." Further down in the lead, a sentence says, "Chakraverti started the Wiccan Brigade, a platform for those who wants to study Wicca... ". "Wants" should be "want". A bit further down, a sentence says, "has been credited for bringing a new light on the taboo subject of witchcraft in India". Something like "has been credited with shining new light on the taboo subject of witchcraft in India" would be better, although the "shining light" metaphor is over-used. I'd prefer something like "frankly examining the taboo subject". You might find a copyeditor via WP:PRV.
- The dab checker in the toolbox on this review page finds one disambiguation link.
- What makes Life.Positive.com a reliable source?
- I'd move the crystal skull image to the right or down further on the left to avoid bumping a subhead.
Early life and introduction to Wicca
- "The group studied ancient texts, long-forgotten customs and the mystical ways of life." - I find this section a bit too vague, and this sentence illustrates what bothers me. What ancient texts? What specific long-forgotten customs? What is meant by "mystical ways of life"?
Finishing Wicca study
- "Chakraverti translated the scrolls and realized that she was the reincarnation of Luciana." - This is presented as though it were a fact. I don't know how you could support the claim that she was in fact the reincarnation of Luciana (or anyone), but you could rewrite the sentence perhaps like this: "Chakraverti translated the scrolls and came to believe that she was the reincarnation of Luciana." The claim that she claims to be the reincarnation is not the same as the claim that she actually is the reincarnation. This is an important distinction.
- "However, she did not receive a certain glowing amber ball of Hecate, which confers vision and is used for toning up the electro-magnetic system of the body." - I see the same problem here. What supports the claim that an "amber ball of Hecate" exists or that it "confers vision and is used for toning up the electro-magnetic system of the body"? I don't think it's possible to find a reliable source for these claims. It may be possible to find reliable sources that support the claim that somebody made these claims but not that the claims are true or false.
Coming out as a witch
- "Chakraverti brought forth the curative powers of crystals and would admonish it for curing people from backache, pains and spinal injuries." - Here is another claim for which no RS can be found. You might be able to find an RS for something like "Chakraverti expressed faith in the curative powers of crystals and recommended them for curing people from backache, pains and spinal injuries."
I hope these few suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog at WP:PR. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 06:23, 10 June 2010 (UTC)