I Am... Sasha Fierce edit
| Toolbox |
|---|
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because i think it has everything to pass for GA. I just need to know what more i can do (if needed) to make it a Good Article. I mean I need a second opinion.
Thanks, Jivesh boodhun (talk) 19:01, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: Thanks for your work on this article. While it is interesting and clearly a lot of work has gone into it, I think some more work is needed before it can become a GA. Here are some suggestions for improvement.
- I think this needs a copyedit before it will pass GAN - here are just some of the problems in the lead (not a complete list):
- A with remix album with videography was later released in Setember 2009. (drop first "with")
Done - Critics received the album with mixed to positive reviews citing that the idea of including two discs was universal. I am not sure what the phrase "citing that the idea of including two discs was universal." means and I can't even guess what it means
- Beyonce is American so the article presumably should use American English. "Whilst" is very British in Disc one shifts themes from gender role-reversal to heartbreak whilst disc two focuses on ... Done
- Again "third term" just sounds odd (third quarter would be better) in ..as well as an EP titled I Am...Sasha Fierce - The Bonus Tracks were made available in the third term of 2009 in nearly every international market. Done
- A with remix album with videography was later released in Setember 2009. (drop first "with")
- One possible method to find spots where the prose needs polish is to print the article out and read it out loud slowly. You can also ask for help with a copyedit from another person.
- The external link checker tool finds one dead link (to Rolling Stone) and several others that may be problematic
- There are two fair use images in the Conception and production section of fashion designs. Neither one currently has a fair use rationale for this article and will at least need that per WP:FAIR USE. If you need a model fair use rationale see the one on File:IAmSashaFierce.jpg
- I also am not sure either of the fair use fashion images is justified under WP:NFCC - what does seeing them add to the reader's understanding of the article that the images and words already present do not convey?
- WP:MOSIMAGE also says not to sandwich text between two images, but the two fashion images sandwich the text on my computer.
- Make sure the sources used as references meet WP:RS - I really doubt that current ref 153 ("I Am...Sasha Fierce Recording Locations". Ebay. http://product.half.ebay.com/I-Am-Sasha-Fierce-Deluxe-Edition_W0QQtgZinfoQQprZ78615639. Retrieved 2010-06-12.) is a reliable source. It is also from Half.com, which is not the same as eBay Done Removed and changed for the booklet reference. TbhotchTalk C. 15:39, 5 July 2010 (UTC)
- There is a lot of detail here, but there are also places where the article seems to hint at a more interesting story - there are 15 recording locations listed in that section (sourced to "eBay") but no discussion of this in the Production section that I could see. Similarly, there are many producers listed in the infobox, but they are not mentioned in the production section (though they are in some cases in Music)
- A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow. There are over 70 FAs on albums at Category:FA-Class Album articles which should include some good models.
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 04:03, 5 July 2010 (UTC)