Wikipedia:Peer review/Hurricane Heather/archive1

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This peer review discussion is closed.

I've listed this article for peer review because it's the first article I wrote mostly fully, and I would like suggestions on how to improve it.

Thanks, Skarmory (talk • contribs) 00:57, 10 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Lede
1st sentence: describe what the storm is, not what it caused.
- Changed it to "was one of the worst tropical cyclones to affect Arizona on record", hopefully good now? Skarmory (talk • contribs) 19:35, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
"eighth named storm" is confusing language.
- This is what I see in most tropical cyclone articles. I can change it if it helps a lot, however. Skarmory (talk • contribs) 19:35, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
"inactive" season? is that necessary?
- I see this in a bunch of other tropical cyclone articles again, but it does feel less necessary, so I've removed it. Skarmory (talk • contribs) 19:35, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
"Heather became a hurricane" -> "the Tropical storm was again upgraded to a hurricane" or something like that. "Heather became a hurricane" sounds goofy.
- Changed to "Heather strengthened into a hurricane". Skarmory (talk • contribs) 19:35, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Meteorological history looks good, but it does retread some stuff that was already in the lede.
Effects

"The then-governor of Arizona" has a clunky link, and it rolls off the tongue very poorly. It could be changed, but it doesn't have to be.

Changed wording to "The governor of Arizona at the time". Skarmory (talk • contribs) 19:35, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Also, "Nogales" might be over-linked.

Removed the link in the met history section, along with a couple other things which were overlinked. Skarmory (talk • contribs) 19:35, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Hope this helped, @Skarmory!

777burger ^{user talk} ^contribs 17:41, 6 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'll get to this when I can, haven't had time during the day today, sorry. Skarmory (talk • contribs) 23:56, 6 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Alright, thanks for the review! It did help! Skarmory (talk • contribs) 19:35, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]