Wikipedia:Peer review/Glenn Goodart/archive2

Glenn Goodart edit

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it has been copyedited, recently underwent a major review, and I would like to soon nominate the article for GA review. I previously listed this article on December 24, 2012, but it was not reviewed and a bot closed the review on January 15, 2013. I would greatly appreciate a solid peer review to help this article pass a GA review. Thank you in advance for your time and any helpful comments.

Thanks, Lawman4312 (talk) 18:58, 18 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Infobox, certain amount of over-capitalisation, e.g. "Hotel Manager". Not necessary.
"treasurer. Goodart was raised" -> "He was raised...."
"during a violent train crash" violent seems a bit POV, no real need.
" ... a period .... a period...." repetitive.
"Goodart was the second manager " -> "He was..."
"in Wabash County. Goodart served as an" -> "He served as..."
"only child, Leland" boy or girl?
"he lost his right leg. After Glenn lost his leg" repetitive.
"Frederick Hinde Zimmerman, Mr. Zimmerman's children " -> "Frederick Hinde Zimmerman, Zimmerman's children"
"On July 29, 1929 Glenn Goodart burned" -> "On July 29, 1929, Goodart burned"
" private collection.[2]</ref> " oops.
"Oral accounts of the" normally "verbal" accounts.
Don't link common terms like "beach".
"not state the cause of his death, but instead stated" repetitive.

The Rambling Man (talk) 18:54, 29 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]