Wikipedia:Peer review/Flag of Yukon/archive1

Flag of Yukon edit

I would like to request a peer review for any improvements for this article on the Flag of Yukon, Canada. I have written at least 90% of this article and now it is most likely the most comprehensive Canadian provincial/territorial flag article on the English Wikipedia. Although the article is short, it covers all of the information on the Flag of Yukon and is fully referenced. First off, if the article merits a B-rating please award it. Let me know any feedback you have and be specific, I'll take any constructive criticism. Hopefully I can get this up to GA status. Bobo is soft 06:18, 5 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

User:A mcmurray edit

At a glance:

Lists: Too many lists, convert to prose.
Thoroughness: Seems awfully short to be thinking about B let alone GA. See comments below.
Image: While miniature Yukon flags for others may be funny there must be a better pic out there of a Yukon flag. Maybe one with the flag on a pole waving in the wind or something.

More in depth:

Intro: First sentence: The flag of Yukon, Canada, (formerly the Yukon Territory), one of Canada's three territories, is a green, white, and blue tricolour with the Coat of Arms of Yukon at the center above a wreath of fireweed, the territorial flower. Pay particular attention to the italicized section, it is very confusing. I wasn't exactly sure what it was trying to say, or else I would have left an alternative suggestion. Sorry about that.
History:

Watch for redundancies, I saw the fact that Lambert won the competition in two consecutive sentences.

This sentence: There were a total of 137 submissions with the winning design coming from Lynn Lambert originally from Destruction Bay, Yukon, and a graduate from Yukon College. A bit wordy, needs to be rewritten. Perhaps by choosing one detail or the other about Lambert, I don't think it is necessary to state both where he is from and where he went to college. Try The winning design, chosen from 137 submissions, was entered by Yukon College graduate Lynn Lambert. Or something of that ilk.

Thoroughness: So why didn't the Yukon have a flag before 1968? What were the circumstances that led to the people/government of Yukon to desire a flag in the first place?

Design: as said, lose the lists, they are unencyclopedic, in general, see WP:EMBED Also, the section with the list of colors, I am not sure that is even necessary as most readers have no idea of the significance of that list, if it has any at all. Cite the terminology statement. Seems to be a bit short overall. It doesn't include who designed it, just as an example.

All in all I am not sure how much can be said about flags, I guess it depends on the circumstances of their adoption and how long they have been around, although I suspect there is some information surrounding this flag that has been left out. Flag articles don't have to be short, while true that a lot of the articles on the Canadian flag footer template are stubby, there are longer territorial/state flag articles out there, just at a glance I saw Flag of Hawaii and Flag of Quebec. Not to criticize just throwing that out there. Anyway, I hope I wasn't overly harsh, anything I have said is meant to genuinely help not insult nor harm. Good luck with the article.A mcmurray (talk • contribs) 05:20, 6 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]