Wikipedia:Peer review/Ferrari P4/5/archive1

Ferrari P4/5 edit

I want to get it to featured but it seems a bit short (only 9.6kb). Specific things I would like feedback on are: is the wording too POV? I wrote it but I think it sounds a bit too much like an advertisement in some bits, is there anything missing and is it too short? All comments are welcome, really attack the article, it can only help me improve it. James086^{Talk | Email} 10:16, 31 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Automated Peer Review edit

The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.

Please expand the lead to conform with guidelines at Wikipedia:Lead. The article should have an appropriate number of paragraphs as is shown on WP:LEAD, and should adequately summarize the article.^[?]
Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.^[?]

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, Davnel03 11:59, 31 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

4u1e's comments

Suggest that Glickenhaus be introduced at his first appearance in the lead (i.e. film director and stock exchange magnate James Glickenhaus (according to his article, anyway!)), and again at first appearance in main text.
I know it can be difficult in a short article, but there shouldn't really be material in the lead that doesn't appear in the main body of the article. At present the cost of the project, its debut at Pebble Beach and Glickenhaus's quote on value for money only appear in the lead.
Would be good to have a fuller description of the origins of the project. The current wording of the article suggests Glickenhaus approached Pininfarina, but a couple of the referenced articles say it was Pininfarina who approached Glickenhaus (see the first Q&A here and about halfway down the first page here). More background could be given on the reported reasons for this - CarandDriver.com suggests that Pininfarina needed to show that they could still 'do' Ferraris after the 612.
Perhaps a little more background on what the original P series Ferraris were, to help explain Glickenhaus' fondness for them?
The first para of development mentions "the 1967 Ferrari 330 P4 which he also delivered to Pininfarina." I couldn't find any mention of Glickenhaus having sent his P4 to Pininfarina in either of the refs given (1 & 6). Are you sure about this? (Update - it does appear in ref 7 though).
The first para of development doesn't really expand on the evolution of the project. Judging by this page a little more could be said about the project's evolution from a purely retro P4-alike (Glickenhaus' original vision) to Pinifarina's 'moving away from the past' vision.
In the same section, would Ken Okuyama's comment be better expressed as a direct quote?
"The car shares the same Vehicle Identification Number as the Enzo it was derived from" Shouldn't this be "The car retains its original Vehicle Identification Number"? You can't share a VIN, that's the whole point!
Reference 5 (www.ferrarip45.com) seems to have gone down. If so can you find an archived version at the Wayback machine, or find another reference?
The 'Interior' section says that "the seats' fabric and colour was designed by his daughter", information which was drawn from ref 5 (see previous point). The Autoblog Q&A says only that his daughter chose the red leather for the seats. Is this a case of the true story getting embellished? Suggest try to find other corroborating sources.
Niggling point from an engineer: The body is described as Carbon Fibre. I know this is common usage, but I'd far prefer to see it correctly identified as Carbon Fibre Composite. A body made of carbon fibre would be rather floppy!
The article says the car "shares its shape with the Ferrari 330 P4". Is that overstating it a bit? Obviously very strongly influenced by, but not actually a clone of.
The Engine section describes a "a Dino F140 mounted at 65°". I would expect to see this as "a 65° Dino F140" - since the current wording could be confused with the angle of the engine relative to the chassis, which I assume is not what is meant. (see Brabham BT55 for a car whose engine was mounted at an angle within the chassis). The engine section could also specify that the engine is in a V configuration.
The chassis section is a bit weak: It's mostly about the transmission, which I would normally group with the engine, rather than the chassis. I'm not that familiar with the Enzo, but I assume from this project that it has a composite tub with composite panels mounted on the exterior to form the outer body shape? If so, this could be described. What is the suspension layout? Shouldn't we say that the car is mid-engined in the text as well as in the infobox? Is there material from the Ferrari Enzo article that can be cannibalised here?
Would it be possible, or useful :), to have a section on 'critical reception' or similar? The press look to have been generally very positive about the project - have there been any negative pieces on the car?
Why not include a picture of a suitable original P series Ferrari (and maybe an Enzo?) for comparison with this car?
This page suggests that Pininfarina see this line of business as something they want to expand. Perhaps that could be written up as part of the significance (or potential significance, I suppose) of the car.
Would it be worthwhile including some mention of other cars that have been based on the Enzo, included Pininfarina's other project, the Maserati Birdcage 75th? That might give some wider context as well.
If you're ultimately looking to FA status, can you find any hardcopy references? There won't be any books yet I guess, but what about magazine articles?

Hope this is useful. I'll keep an eye on this page for a bit, but feel free to contact me if any of this is cryptic, or plain wrong! Cheers. 4u1e 11:55, 15 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]