Wikipedia:Peer review/FLCL/archive1
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A weird but sophisticated anime that's currenly the vote leader at WP:AID and may become a featured article... with help. Since all of us working on the article know what we're taling about, we need outsiders to tell us what parts may be confusing for the uninitiated. -Litefantastic 16:11, 5 August 2006 (UTC)
- Over half the lead is about something called 'adult swim'. This is not en-US.wikipedia - or pretends not to be.
- No meaningful references, #1 uncontroversial fact, #2#3#4 meaningless as 'reception' indicators.
- Too much list and opinion-prose, not enough actual encylopedia content.
- Feel free to ignore all this though, it's perfectly possible to get an anime article featured that deals only with North America. --zippedmartin 00:03, 6 August 2006 (UTC)
- That's probably true, but still: thanks! -Litefantastic 00:08, 6 August 2006 (UTC)
- Okay, now over half the lead is plot summary, which kinda gives the wrong impression this is a narrative-heavy show... The best leads are just good article summaries. I'd worry about having enough non-'Notes and trivia' content to put in three short paragraphs. Oh, anmd pet peeve, it treats the work as if it's in a vacuum, bar some 'parody' mentions - it's not like Tsurumaki/Sadamoto et al had no influences and no impact. There are resources that can help. --zippedmartin 01:05, 6 August 2006 (UTC)
I fall into the 'outsider' category, because I hardly know what Anime is and I've never seen any of it. I haven't heard of FLCL and I don't think it'll be broadcast here in the UK. Here's my advice about the article:
- The article looks like it covers everything that needs to be mentioned and I feel I know a reasonable amount about the series now that I've read it. The article doesn't go into a lot of technical detail about anime, so I understood everything.
- Needs references!
- "very, very heavy" - Remove repeated word by replacing with something like "extremely"?
- "runs Naota over with her Vespa" - Maybe put 'motor scooter' after the Vespa word to clarify what it is? Otherwise I think people will assume it's a car unless they look at the link.
- "If you look" - The second person shouldn't be used in articles.
- "June 4 of 2006" "August 5 2006" - Slightly different date formats in third paragraph of lead.
- In the third paragraph, it doesn't really matter when it was announced and that date has gone now, so could it be written to say what happened? Maybe remove "On June 4 of 2006, it was announced that Adult Swim would run" and replace with "Adult Swim ran"
- The story section seems focussed on the start of the story. How does it conclude? Perhaps the episode articles are there to provide that information, which is fine if that's the intention.
- Needs an endspoiler template, or remove the first spoiler tag because the section is called "story", so people will assume that it contains plot details.
- Would be good if all the character links went directly to their sections.
- "it created a large horn" - I don't see this on any of the pictures, is it invisible or inside his head or...? I'm confused.
- Articles shouldn't contain trivia sections.
- "In the same manga scene the Japanese version uses" - That confused me a bit. I barely understand what Anime is and I have no idea what Manga is. The problem here is my lack of knowledge on this subject, but I think it would be useful to at least make 'manga' a link.
- References should go after punctuation, instead of before.
I hope that's useful to you. Icey 12:32, 6 August 2006 (UTC)
- -Thanks! -Litefantastic 23:39, 6 August 2006 (UTC)
- Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, AZ t 01:25, 9 August 2006 (UTC)
- FLCL is an Ecchi so why isnt it on Wikipedia? The scences in the OVA is EZACTLY what an Ecchi is! SEXUAL COMADY! Am I wrong? Im gona put it up again if I comfirm this! *Self* "Wiki is Truth...HA Wiki is Lacking the Truth! Im the editor that will change that! I am SUPER EDITOR-SAN!!!O_O...um I um....look im for the the whole Wiki is Truth thing but make sure you dont leave everything out just because "Orginal Research!" Its stupid and not every site can tell tell you everything! You need "Orginal Research" sometime!--Lolicon-r.us 17:18, 19 September 2007 (UTC)