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Wikipedia:Peer review/Dark Cloud/archive1

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Dark Cloud

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I'm not getting much activity from the VG project Peer Review so I thought I'd place a request normally. I've been working on this article and I want some pointers in which direction to take it and what needs improving the most. I've left the reference and cleanup tags at the top as although I feel I've fixed them mostly, I'd rather have someone else verify it. I'd ideally like the development section to be a little more filled out but there are very few sources from what I can find. Thanks, CrimsonFox talk 22:29, 13 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by DragonZero
  • Gameplay needs to be rewritten so that it's generic and does not sound like a game guide. Especially the parts about the secret dungeon - that should be removed. The gameplay section should focus on the game engine and has to be referenced, usually through the manual.
I have done some rewriting of the gameplay section, but I do not think it is my strong point; if anyone wants to look over it or feel they can word it better, feel free. CrimsonFox talk 10:34, 22 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ex.

"Completing additional villagers' requests gives the player new items. Upon reaching 100% completion, the player's characters are granted a special reward such as a unique weapon or a powerful battle move."
"A fishing minigame is also available in each area where the player can earn points for catching fish. These points can be traded in for prizes."
"Once it is full, the weapon can be levelled up. Weapons can be combined once they reach a certain level, granting the player a single weapon with the combined attributes of the two."
  • Georama mode might need to be merged to gameplay.
I've gone through the gameplay section and tweaked it. I tried to make information less specific and in-unverse. I think it still might need another go over though. References to come. CrimsonFox talk 01:46, 18 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Setting and characters need to be referenced.
  • Reception needs an expansion if possible.
I have added some detail in about plot and visuals and tweaked it a little. It's not quite as enough as I want it but I feel some of the review references are being overused. Is that an issue? CrimsonFox talk 10:34, 22 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Dates should be in Month Day Year.
  Done It took me ages to realize. I presumed you meant in the refs; I was frantically looking through the article. CrimsonFox talk 17:28, 17 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Oh, I mean it should be like "December 14, 2000".
If you mean in the article I can't find any that aren't like that. I thought references were allowed to be in the shorter format? CrimsonFox talk 01:46, 18 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Alternate texts need to be added on.
  Done
The Alternate text should be more generic as if explaining the scene to a blind person. Ex, the blind do not know what a "Dark Genie" looks like.
Made them more descriptive CrimsonFox talk 01:46, 18 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
It's better, but you should describe the boy in front of the picture instead of calling him the main character. DragonZero (talk · contribs) 02:47, 18 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Fix link to Inventory.
There's not an actual page for inventory, games-wise, but it is explained on the disambiguation page. What's the case with that? De-link it, link to general inventory term or leave as is? CrimsonFox talk 17:28, 17 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Leave it unlinked.
  • Needs sources in many locations.
  • Is RPGclassic a reliable source?
Removed CrimsonFox talk 17:28, 17 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Needs Audio Soundtrack picture.
I'm not quite sure what you mean by this... Like an image of the soundtrack? CrimsonFox talk 17:28, 17 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  Done. Alhough I wouldn't mind if someone looked over the rationale, I think I've done it right. CrimsonFox talk 01:46, 18 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think you should add a {{clear}} template under reception so that the box doesn't interfere with the reception section.
  Done CrimsonFox talk 17:28, 17 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

That's all I've got for now. DragonZero (talk · contribs) 09:56, 17 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Added onto original comments. DragonZero (talk · contribs) 21:56, 17 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for the review; replied accordingly above. I'll work on the others. CrimsonFox talk 17:28, 17 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Replied to points 1 and 4. I'm still looking for an answer for the Inventory query. CrimsonFox talk 10:34, 22 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
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