Wikipedia:Peer review/Common Eland/archive2

Common Eland edit

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because after fixing the many problems this article had, I wish to know whether any more improvements need to be made. Please ass your opinions if they are helpful.

Thanks, Sainsf <^> (talk) 13:13, 21 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comment – umm, no offense intended, but the article could really use a thorough copy edit and polishing up. You might ask around to see if somebody will do that for you. There are also some issues with insufficiently developed references. Regards, RJH (talk) 22:09, 28 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

"Common Eland" and "southern eland" in the lead sentence, be consistent with capitalisation.
"largest[2] and slowest [3] in the world." watch ref placement. Preferably after punctuation and definitely not after a space, so I'd recommend "largest and slowest in the world.[2][3]"
Avoid linking very common terms like "grass" and "foliage".
"These terrestrial animals " um, do you really mean "territorial"? "terrestrial" means they come from Earth which is probably a given.
"These terrestrial animals form large herds of individuals, usually ranging from 25 to 70." not great, I would say "These territorial animals form large herds of individuals ranging from 25 to 75 in number."
More unnecessary common term linkage with things like "milk" and "leather".
" but its population trend is decreasing." I don't think the "trend" is decreasing, do you mean the actual population itself is decreasing? Or do you mean that its rate of population increase is decreasing?
Online references need publisher information, publication dates, author information etc wherever available.
"focusing at the tuft " not sure I know what that means.
"and Greek(generally orygos" space missing.
"which focuses at the pointed horns " again, not clear to me what this means.
"When Dutch settlers " and "In Dutch", both link "Dutch" but to different articles, not recommended.
"color . Males " remove the space before the full stop.
"as 25 years . When " ditto.

In general there needs to be a lot of copyediting here for this to be ready for GA, so I'd suggest a request over at WP:GOCE. The Rambling Man (talk) 12:43, 2 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]