Wikipedia:Peer review/Chicago Bears/archive1

Chicago Bears edit

This is a very good written article, but it is not yet up to FA status. So I would like the article to be read by our Wikipedia peers and have their take on what needs to be improved, expanded, or deleted. Feel free to state your opinions as long as you are respectful toward each other and the article in question. --Happyman22 02:11, 10 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Well, you've got a good start here and have some interesting information, but I think the article needs a good deal of work. The history section needs to be greatly expanded. You don't mention Sid Luckman in the text at all and barely mention Walter Payton. There's no information about how they did in their first 20 years. Some of the paragraphs seem out of place: The paragraph about the Shaughnessy era should be in the main history section. The section about the rivalry with Green Bay could be better located. You can cut or greatly reduce some of the information on the logo, uniforms, stadium, ownership and broadcasters. Your choice of statistics is somewhat unusual: typically, rushing yards, passing yards and receiving yards are the big stats. The article needs a good proofread ("sponsorship" is misspelled, for example) and wikification. You shouldn't have ticker symbols for the sponsors -- it looks like it was copied and pasted from a press release. -- Mwalcoff 03:24, 10 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

The article ends with a lot of lists. This creates a lot of white space and makes scrolling and navigation difficult. Consider making some of these list parallel (see New England Patriots#Other notable alumni or Extraordinary Machine#Track listing for ideas). Since there is a Wikiproject on this topic, consider contacting some of participants on their talk pages (and the Wikiproject discussion page) requesting them to peer review this article. --maclean25 06:18, 14 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Good luck with the peer review and the work on the article. A few thoughts. The ordering of the sections could be improved. The section on the 'Bears in Popular Culture' would be better placed towards the bottom of the article, certainly after the sections on ownership, statistics and records and famous players. It has too much prominence at present as the 5th section in the article. Within that section, on the American television movie Brian's Song, the statement "It became one of the best-loved sports films of all time." needs qualifying - e.g. within the US or worldwide? according to what source? The Statistics and Records section should include Walter Payton's rushing achievements during his career. The (recent) section on Controversy which features one reference to a single incident involving one player in April 2006, gives the incident undue prominence for a team with a 87 year history (i.e. there is currently more text in the article on Ricky Manning Jr, who has yet to play for the Chicago Bears, than there is on Payton, Butkus, Luckman, Sayers, Grange, Singletary etc). Jazriel 15:59, 25 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]