Wikipedia:Peer review/Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash/archive1

Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash edit

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This peer review discussion is closed.

I've listed this article for peer review because as I would like to put into consideration for a Featured Article Nomination. I feel like I have done as much as I could with this article, and would appreciate the help of more experienced editors, particularly specialised for video games, so that this article can be the best it can be. Hopefully this can make the FA nomination process much simpler. Tell me what needs fixed, any problem at all, and I shall hopefully have it corrected in a swift enough time.

Thanks, Captain Galaxy 15:01, 12 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Panini! edit

Placeholder; I'll review this article when I have finished my other projects. Panini! • 🥪 16:12, 12 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Ooh, yikes! Sorry about the delay. I had an appoitment, and... it was- like, an important... no no, I was busy, and... yeeeeeah, I forgot. But that's in the past. Comments coming soon. I too have grown since I reviewed the article for GA, so I wonder how much I'm contradicting myself with these comments. Panini! • 🥪 13:40, 4 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

This is my personal standard, which other editors have agreed with, that the only three big release dates that should be included in the infobox are North America, Europe, and Japan. An Australian date isn't necessary.

Done

This isn't required for GAs but will probably be called out in the FAC: most of the developer names mentioned in the infobox are unsourced and need citations. You can put the citations inside the infobox or document names within prose in Development, although the latter is preferred. To cite them, you most likely will be using the in-game credits, but if any other reliable source exists you should use those instead. For examples, see the first paragraph of PMTOK or this timestamp that uses the former method.

Done

Lead

The reference here is sourced in the body and therefore isn't needed here.

Done

To cut down on "in", and in Europe and Australia in November could be changed to and in Europe and Australia the following November.

Done

Zip Lash has you play as the robot Chibi-Robo An article shouldn't address the reader -> Zip Lash has the player control Chibi-Robo, a robot tasked with...

Done

To clarify "resources" here, the word "natural" should be placed before it.

Done

Unlike previous Chibi-Robo! games, Zip Lash is a 2D scrolling platformer instead of the platform-adventure game style gameplay previous insalments in the series utilised -> Unlike previous installments in the Chibi-Robo! series, which utilises elements from the adventure genre, Zip Lash is a 2D side-scrolling platform.

Done

The game is often cited as the last in the series It wasn't just cited as the last game in the series, it is the last game in the series. I see that you are citing this as speculation but this could be made more clear -> Zip Lash is currently the most recent game in the series and is believed to be the final, following speculation that Skip Ltd. had shut down and has since had no activity since the game's release.

Done

Gameplay

Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash deviates from the first three games in series by being a sidescrolling platformer instead of being an adventure platformer. The second "being" is redundant

Done

The player takes control of Chibi-Robo who needs to move to the end of the level to reach the goal UFOs to progress. Much like the lead, specifying he's a robot could be mentioned somewhere in this sentence.

Done

I'm not really a fan of the word "needs", but I just can't quite put my finger on why that is. Something along the lines of The player takes control of the robot Chibi-Robo, with the goal of reaching the end of the level, signified by a UFO.

Done

To help reach the goal, Chibi-Robo possesses a power cord, which has two functions; he can either use the Whip Lash, where he uses the cord as a whip and quickly swings it in front of him, being able to grab items, open doors, or attack enemies, as well as being able to hover; he can also do a Zip Lash, in which he charges up and then releases it at a great length, used for puzzle solving and reaching high-up places. This is a very long sentence and could be split up into seperate thoughts.

Done

do a Zip Lash sound like a dance move (I'm personally thinking of "Do the Bartman" at the moment), and a "perform" would better fulfill what you are implying.

Done

In every level, the player can collect two red and blue orbs... Just to make sure, are there two red and two blue orbs or one orb each?

Done

...which can lead to repeating the same stage more than once. This isn't a comment, rather just me stating that this pisses me off.

Done

Boss battle is linked in this third paragraph, but the term first appears in the end of the second.

Done

These collectibles are organized as different thoughts and can be shortened and combined: Throughout the levels are various forms of collectibles: various items of trash, which can be converted into energy at the "Chibi-House"; blue aliens that appear within completed levels that rewards the player with a Miiverse code of a cosmetic for Chibi-Robo; and snacks, which resemble real-world, international brands, such as Chupa Chups, Pocky, and Mentos. When Chibi-Robo meets another toy in one of the levels, the snacks can be traded for cosmetics.

Done

I think a description of the Chibi-House would be beneficial in one of the earlier paragraphs.

Done

If I recall correctly, there was a Chibi-Tot and Coin collectible as well, right? These go unmentioned.

Done

This last paragraph is relatively short and can be merged with the one above it (they cover similar topics, anyways).

Done

Plot

...Chibi-Robo travels to all continents of the world... he didn't travel to Africa so this is therefore incorrect. ...Chibi-Robo travels to various locations across the earth and the respective ...alien robots that guard their specific continent. to ...alien robots that guard their specific location.

Done

"orb" is vague without description unless there is no other way to describe it.

Done

Development and release

Found some new sources to dig your teeth into:

Lashing Out: A Chibi-Robo Zip Lash Q&A (USGamer)
Try Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash early with its new demo on the 3DS eShop
Chibi-Robo: Zip Lash Interview with Risa Tabata and Kensuke Tanabe
There may or may not be more. I would suggest another look around for sources on development to see if it can be expanded any further.

Done

Specific release dates would be preferred, rather than just the month.

Done

@Panini!: Sorry I didn't see you updated the peer review right away, I had no idea you had done it until 2 days ago. Currently, I have (hopefully) fulfilled most of the criteria on the list. However, it might take me a little while to look through all the citations, especially the Q&As. There were a lot more sources than those 3 that I found, so it will definitely take a while. Also, I realised that I need to get rid of those primary sources (the links to the Nintendo website and the instruction book, citing the game itself is fine). Tell if there is anymore I can do and I will try to correct it when I can. All the best! Captain Galaxy 20:31, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

~~@Panini!: Update: I have now updated the development section of the article, as well as fulfilled all criteria for the current peer review. If you have any issues of course, please let me know.~~ Sorry, I didn't see you were on WikiBreak. Hope to see you when you return and hope you enjoy your break. Captain Galaxy 19:18, 17 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Pardon me, @Captain Galaxy, by "I won't be starting (or finishing) any projects", I wasn't implying that I wouldn't finish the things that other users are depending on; personal projects like my overhaul of Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon, I mean, are on hold.

Your overhaul of the development section was quite the sight! Very good work has been done here. There are some nitty-gritty things I can shake a stick at most of it will be picked up at GOCE or from other opinions here (and I'm too short on time to go through them anyways). Some general points I see are cutting down on developer intros ("Producer Kensuke Tanabe" for example, some pieces of this section list his full name), and in most cases, mentioning the interview where their statements come from are necessary and sometimes repetitive, and can be cut from the article.

I still feel that the reception section has held up its formatting and organization of critical opinions, so I don't have much to say along those lines (which is good, because reception sections are usually the most neglected and always require attention). Some of the wording choice, however, feels non-encyclopedic and reads more like it came out of the reviewers mouth; as in, the critics step on their soapbox a lot in their reviews and it's our job to make what they say read more professionally, but some of their heavy-hitting statements seemed to have slipped through the cracks. I feel statements like "a complete waste of time and just pointless", "a complete joke", and other tacked-on adjectives like "completely" and "incredibly" can be cut down or paraphrased to read more neutrally. There are some professional words that can take their place that also convey the same message, and I usually stop at a thesaurus to find them.

Great work here! I will probably stop by the FAC as well for one final lookthrough. I also suggest expanding the lead section to three paragraphs to help sum up the new development section and other areas of expansion, and considering how Kensuke Tanabe is the lead producer and spoke on behalf of the development team a lot, the article would benefit from an image of him. You may need to remove one of the quotes to make it fit, however. Panini! • 🥪 12:36, 23 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Panini!: I am so sorry for the misunderstanding, I assumed you weren't going to reappear from your break unless you got talk page messages. My apologies. I have now hopefully fulfilled the suggestions you have just given me, I have corrected said mistakes and made additions in the lead, development and reception sections. If there is anything else that needs improving please let me know, thank you for the kind words about the article and I hope you enjoy your break! Captain Galaxy 21:58, 23 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Panini!: Hi, sorry to bother you again. Just wanted to check in and see if you are still available to finish this PR as it's been over a week since the last update. If you can't that is fine and hope you continue to have a great break. Captain Galaxy 11:00, 2 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Query from Z1720 edit

@Captain Galaxy: are you still looking for more comments in this PR? If so, I suggest that you post a request on various Wikiprojects associated with this article to seek reviewers. Also, since you are still working towards your first successful FAC, I suggest that you seek a FA mentor who can help guide you through the process. If you are no longer seeking comments, can you close this PR? Thanks, Z1720 (talk) 15:31, 6 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Z1720: I was hoping to hear back from the original reviewer as they said they'd still look over the article whilst on break. I've tried before to get more comments before without success but I will try again. If not, how do I close this? Also thanks for the FA mentor advice. Captain Galaxy 15:37, 6 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Instructions on how to close a PR are at WP:PRG. I suggest using the script suggested on that page, as that is what I use to quickly and easily close PRs. I also suggest, if you have not already done so, that you review articles at WP:FAC. This will help you gain an understanding of the FAC process and will build goodwill amongst FAC reviewers, who will be more likely to review your work. Z1720 (talk) 15:39, 6 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]