Wikipedia:Peer review/Callisto (moon)/archive1

Callisto (moon) edit

I expanded and referenced this article and it needs peer review before FA nomination. I would appreciate any comments but some language clean up is necessary. Ruslik 13:56, 19 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

I agree that language cleanup is needed. In the intro, technical terms (such as spectral signatures, jovian subnebular, slow subsolidus convection) are used, but not wikilinked. They should either be linked or (preferably, I think) simplified, especially as an introduction should provide an accessible overview. The term callistoan is used in the intro, but only explained under "Discovery and naming", and jovian is not explained at all, which might confuse readers unfamiliar with the term. Also, for the article in general, I think contractions should be avoided, especially because they contract so sharply with the scientific tone. Technical terms throughout the article need to be wikilinked. If that's what you meant by the language cleanup that is necessary, sorry for repeating what you already knew. Other than that, the content seems very good, though I'm hardly an expert in astronomy. --Jude. 23:13, 24 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for comments and clean up. I removed many technical terms from the lead and added wikilinks. You comments are specially useful because you are not an expert in astronomy. You can really tell me if this text can be understood by a member of the public. Experts know too much and can't.Ruslik 12:24, 25 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.

Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Manual of Style (dates), months and days of the week generally should not be linked. Years, decades, and centuries can be linked if they provide context for the article.^[?]
Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (numbers), there should be a non-breaking space -   between a number and the unit of measurement. For example, instead of 138 km, use 138 km, which when you are editing the page, should look like: 138 km.^[?]
Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (numbers), please spell out source units of measurements in text; for example, the Moon is 380,000 kilometres (240,000 mi) from Earth.^[?] Specifically, an example is 200 km.
Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (headings), headings generally should not repeat the title of the article. For example, if the article was Ferdinand Magellan, instead of using the heading ==Magellan's journey==, use ==Journey==.^[?]
The script has spotted the following contractions: can't, hasn't, if these are outside of quotations, they should be expanded.
As done in WP:FOOTNOTE, footnotes usually are located right after a punctuation mark (as recommended by the CMS, but not mandatory), such that there is no space in between. For example, the sun is larger than the moon [2]. is usually written as the sun is larger than the moon.[2]^[?]
Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.^[?]

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, DrKiernan 14:16, 26 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]