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Wikipedia:Peer review/Bobby Robson/archive2

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Bobby Robson

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Extensive work has gone on here since achieving good article status, including getting a Flickr editor to provide a correctly licenced image for the infobox. Please review with WP:FAC in mind. It's been copyedited by User:Dweller to remove my heavy Ipswich bias, so I hope it meets with the approval of the community. Thanks. The Rambling Man 12:47, 23 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Very good indeed. As an FAC run is imminent these comments are extra-pedantic.

  • Lead
  • Playing career
    • electrician apprentice - apprentice electrician surely?
    • Despite being offered a contract by Middlesbrough - implies Middlesbrough was a preferential option. "nearby Middlesbrough" perhaps?
    • newly-promoted Fulham - might be better to introduce the First Division before mentioning promotion, the question "promoted to where?" arises otherwise.
    • indeed he was relegated with Fulham from the top-flight - something that doesn't flow right here, but I can't put my finger on it. "He and Fulham were relegated from the top-flight"?
    • Despite press reports of interest from Arsenal,[23] and the offer of a player-manager role by Southend,[24] Robson left Fulham in 1967 and accepted a three-year deal with Canada's Vancouver Royals to be player-manager in their inaugural 1967–68 season in the North American Soccer League, believing it "...was a chance too good to miss". Run-on sentence.
    • Fulham came back for Robson Came back from where? A little informal.
    • He was selected for the 1962 World Cup finals... Another run-on sentence. The article contains a few, I won't list the others.
      •   DoneThat one's split, when I come back I'll recheck for others, but for me it's difficult as I wrote a great deal of it myself. A bit like not being able to see the wood for the trees. If you spot any more, even during FAC, please let me know. The Rambling Man 22:14, 23 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Managerial career
  • Other comments
    • The "Outside football" section has a disjointed trivia-like feel in places.
    • The phrase "Despite this" or similar is used many times, which gets a little repetitive.
    • The "culture shock" at PSV that the Robson quote in the article mentions could be expanded by a couple of lines as it appears to have been a big factor in his PSV career - there's a chapter about his first spell at PSV in Dutch journalist Simon Kuper's Football Against the Enemy" entitled "Dutch and English - Why Bobby Robson failed in Holland". For the second PSV spell - the article reads like third was a big achievement, but at PSV, third is failure.
      • Yeah, agreed, for PSV for come third probably was a disaster for them, but for a manager to spend a single year with a club and still gain Champions League was, in my opinion (!), not bad work. However, I don't have Kuper's book, do you? Is there anything you could suggest and cite that I can add? The Rambling Man 22:26, 23 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]
I'll see what I can add. What does your book say about his departure in 1992? Kuper states that he learned about the decision not to renew his contract from the Dutch press. For the second spell, one simply needs to look at PSV's all time record. The last time they finished outside the top three was 1981, and since then they have finished outside the top two only four times. Oldelpaso 09:09, 26 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Hope this helps. Oldelpaso 18:34, 23 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]

  •   Not done As yet, I can't see anything suitable to add. Perhaps you can suggest something reasonable from Kuper. For a single year in the job and Robson (for some reason) stating that finishing third was a "miracle", I've got nothing substantial to go on. His auto-bio claims a single year contract, no sign of sacking... The Rambling Man 16:03, 27 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]
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