Wikipedia:Peer review/Alanis Morissette/archive2

Alanis Morissette edit

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I'm submitting this article for a peer review request because I would like to hear others' opinions on how to take this article to the next grade up and eventually make it to a FAC someday. Thanks, Turn➦ 08:27, 3 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Bollyjeff

I see a lot of sources in the lead. It is better if the lead is a summary of the article text, and most of the sources are there instead.
There are too many one line paragraphs, making it look like a bullet list in some places. Try to add some more info, group related things together, and make it flow more like a story.
Some larger paragraphs appear to be totally unsourced.
Sometimes sources appear in the middle, rather than the end of the paragraph, making it appear as though the second part is unsourced, which it may or may not be, but that's the impression you get when scanning it.
The last external link seems to not even be about her. In any event, reviews are better off incorporated into the article.

Thank you so much, your insight is very helpful and useful! I will keep your comments in mind when editing the article. Turn➦ 09:53, 18 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]