Wikipedia:Peer review/A Crow Looked at Me/archive1

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I've listed this article for peer review because I am my planning on listing for this FA nomination/review.

Thanks, DMT biscuit (talk) 11:58, 23 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

A Crow Looked at Me is the eighth studio album by Mount Eerie, the solo project of American musician Phil Elverum, released on March 24 2017 on Elverum's own label, P.W. Elverum & Sun. It is a concept album about the death of Elverum's wife, the Canadian cartoonist and musician Geneviève Castrée. The album was written and produced entirely by Elverum, who recorded it using mostly Castrée's instruments in the room in which she died. A departure from Elverum's previous work, A Crow Looked at Me features minimal production and sparse instrumentation alongside lyrics that tell of Castrée's illness and death, and Elverum's ensuing grief.

"...Castrée died at their home on " is there any information about the city they lived in? A short mention wouldn't hurt
"poet Joanne Kyger American rock band Sun Kil Moon Norwegian author Karl Ove Knausgård and American singer-songwriter Will Oldham whose" →→ "poet Joanne Kyger, American rock band Sun Kil Moon, Norwegian author Karl Ove Knausgård and American singer-songwriter Will Oldham, whose"
it's sparse → its sparse
Elverum recorded the album from August 31, 2016 to December 6 of the same year at his house in Anacortes, Washington.[11][12] He wrote the songs over a six-week period[13] starting in September 2016.[9] →→→ so he began the recording before the writing?
. I want it known." and draw a distinction between "art and music versus the actual experience of life".[21][7] → remove the period after "known" and place the references in order
detached from Castrée.[7][20][18] →again, place the references in order

"...of there being nothing to learn or gain from death.[29][30][31][32]" This is a case of WP:OVERKILL
"Elverum's vocals have been described as "weak and shy" which "show us an artist that is completely consumed by a cruel, unforgiving world"" who said that? mention the author in the article
"...speaking and raw emotional data dump."[39][36]" place the references in order
This section has a lot of sources that are not placed in order, besides the cases I already mentioned
This also section has many direct quotes. You can improve the prose by rewording various of these quotes
"apologizing to Castrée for attempting to move on and wondering how he will live without Castrée"
""EMPTINESS" from his 2015 album Sauna." → ""Emptiness" from his 2015 album Sauna.
"In her review for student newspaper "The Cowl" Alexis..." Student newspapers are not reliable
" which was characterised by "harsh tones" and "complicated chords".[20][60][30][61] " WP:OVERKILL again

"... and wrote that "A Crow Looked at Me stands as" → "... and wrote that "A Crow Looked at Me stands as"
"Sarah Greene, of Now Toronto commented"... remove the comma

For some reason all of the albums mentioned in this section are not italicized. Fix this
Billboard → Billboard

@DMT biscuit: This is my review. I hope you find it useful. Regards, Paparazzzi (talk) 20:15, 1 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]