Wikipedia:Peer review/4chan/archive1

This peer review discussion has been closed.
Hi. I've worked on this one for a few months, and it recently passed a GA nomination. I'd like feedback especially on the content (does it need to cover anything else? is there too much weight given to anything?) and the prose, obviously, with the aim of going to FAC at some point in the not too distant future. Many thanks in advance. —Giggy 04:45, 22 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)

Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 13:36, 24 August 2008 (UTC)

Comments from Dabomb87 (talk · contribs):

Lead

  • "Launched on October 1, 2003 by "moot" ("Christopher Poole"), its boards are based primarily around the posting of pictures and discussion of Japanese comics and television shows." around-->on, and primarily should go before based.
  • "4chan's '/b/' board, dedicated to random postings, is the most active and is notorious on the Internet; Gawker.com claimed in jest that 'reading /b/ will melt your brain'." "dedicated to random postings"—what does this mean?
  • I did some further copyediting, and found one more instance of clarification needed: "4chan's "/b/" board is both active and notorious." What does active mean, and what is 4chan notorious for? Addressing these nitpicks now will save time at FAC. Dabomb87 (talk) 01:12, 27 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Reworded. —Giggy 08:58, 28 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Layout

  • "However, the pornographic content hosted on 4chan makes it difficult to advertise, with few businesses wanting to be associated with the site's content." A bit awkward, try: "However, the pornographic content hosted on 4chan has detered businesses—who do not want to be associated with the site's content—from advertising." I'm sure there's a better way to rephrase the sentence than my suggestion, though.
  • "4chan has been labeled as the starting point of the Anonymous meme by The Baltimore City Paper,[17] due to the norm of posts being made with the "Anonymous" moniker." "being" is unnecessary; "made" should probably be changed to "signed".
  • "The 'random' board, /b/, follows in the design of Futaba Channel's Nijiura board."
  • "Certain post numbers, such as 12345678, 22222222 and every millionth post, are sought after with a large amount of posting taking place to 'GET' them." Besides being grammatically awkward, how important is this information to the article?
  • WP:ENGVAR inconsistencies: summarised(British English), but humor (American English). Please check for instances throughout the article and change them to one format.
  • "and is frequently characterized by intricate inside jokes and black comedy." frequently could be deleted here.
  • "/b/ users are referred to by outsiders as trolls, whose intention is to accumulate 'lulz'. Whose intention, the trolls or the /b/ users?

Memes

  • "The lolcat meme later spread to other animals, resulting in the O RLY? owl." This sentence is confusing—it says that the meme spread to other animals, but then branches off into an example.

I'll finish the comments tomorrow. Dabomb87 (talk) 02:26, 26 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks so much for taking a look! :-) —Giggy 07:57, 26 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "2005 saw the introduction of the 'duckroll'." Rewrite needed: "In 2005 the 'duckroll' was introduced."
  • "Its immense popular caused publisher Rockstar Games' website to crash." popular-->popularity.
  • You might want to add that the whole Grand Theft Auto thing led to the term "rickrolling". It's in the subheader, but we want the article to be as clear as possible.
  • "The portion of the song in which Zonday turns away from the microphone, with a caption stating "I move away from the mic to breathe in", became a an oft-repeated meme on 4chan,[30] also inspiring numerous remixes." "also inspiring numerous remixes"-->"and inspired remixes.
  • "More new memes would be developed by 4chan, such as 'So I herd u liek mudkipz', a meme involving a phrase based on Pokemon, which resulted in numerous YouTube tribute videos." Use the simple past tense—"would be"-->were.

Media attention

  • "On January 9, 2006 eBaum's World violated copyright in hosting an image of Lindsay Lohan originally posted on YTMND." Comma after 2006; violated copyright-->violated copyright laws.
  • "In December 2006 and January 2007, users of 4chan and other websites 'raided' Hal Turner, taking his site offline through DDoS attacks, and prank calling his phone-in radio show." "taking his site offline through DDoS attacks, and prank calling his phone-in radio show"—the attacks themselves didn't take his site offline, they led to that result. Reword as necessary.
  • Wikilink injunction.
  • "On February 28, 2008, he plead guilty to the federal charges." plead-->pled
  • There needs to be information in the body of text that informs the reader that the student who threatened to blow up his high school attended Pflugerville High School in Austin, Texas (or wherever the school is).
  • "Jarrad Willis, a 20 year old Melbourne man"—should be "a 20 year old man from Melbourne.

Dabomb87 (talk) 02:17, 27 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks again for all your help! —Giggy 08:46, 27 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

General

Dabomb87 (talk) 12:41, 27 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Great job! Dabomb87 (talk) 15:14, 31 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]