Wikipedia:Peer review/2010–11 Temple Owls men's basketball team/archive1

2010–11 Temple Owls men's basketball team edit

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I've listed this article for peer review because I plan to bring it to FA some day. Let me know if any basketball terms are unclear.

Thanks, ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 05:38, 6 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Thanks for your work on this article. I found it fairly easy to follow; here are some suggestions for improvement.

A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow. There are two FAs that seem like they would be useful models: 2005 Texas Longhorns football team and 2007 USC Trojans football team - note that both are relatively old FAs and may not be up to current FA standards (the USC article needs more refs)
There are quite a few dabs and redirects to fix see here
- Fixed all of them. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 05:50, 25 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Two dead external links here - need to be fixed before FAC
- Done. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 05:54, 25 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I was struck by the lack of images. I found a free picture of Fran Dunphy on Flickr and added it to his article. The Liacouras Center has a photo of the exterior - both images could be used here. FAs need a free image to be used when they are on the Main Page.
- Added both. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 06:00, 25 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Lead seems OK to me
I would change the first three sentences in Preseason from The team plays their home games at the Liacouras Center, which has a capacity of 10,206.[1] They are in their 29th season as a member of the Atlantic 10 Conference.[2] In their previous season, Temple was picked to finish fifth in the conference ... to something like In 2010-2011, the Temple Owls mens' basketball team was its 29th season as a member of the Atlantic 10 Conference, which it joined in 1982.[2] Since 1997, the team team has played its home games at the Liacouras Center, which has a capacity of 10,206.[1] In the previous 2009-2010 season, Temple was picked to finish fifth in the conference ... Try to give years when possible, and put them in chronological order (they've been in the league the longest so it comes first, then the arena, then previous season).
- 29th season and 1982 are redundant, Otherwise, done. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 15:59, 26 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
To me "team" is a singlular noun (so "the team is...") and Owls is plural {so "the Owls are..."). This seems to be what the USC model FA follows too. To me using plural pronouns for the team seems odd (since it is singular)(so "the team .... it")
Verb tense is wrong here - 2018 is still in the future, so it is not certain Head coach Fran Dunphy was rewarded with a contract extension on May 5, 2010 that kept him with Temple until the 2017-18 season.[6] ... perhaps "would keep him" or "should keep him"?
- Changed to "keeps". ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 21:53, 26 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Not sure why "however" is used here - what is the implied contrast?? However, the 2010–11 Temple Owls men's basketball team lost two starters to graduation from their previous campaign: Ryan Brooks and Luis Guzman. The previous sentence is on the coach's contract extension, so I doubt the contrast is meant to be with that. If the comparison is with the number of players lost at the start of the previous season, that information is not in this article.
- Removed. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 21:57, 26 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I would make sure to wikilink basketball terms. The article seems fairly clear to me, but I understand most things involving basketball. I think that readers who are less well informed about the sport would benefit from a link for things like rebounds, assists, etc.
- Linked in the statistics section. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 22:01, 26 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Give class year (junior / Senior etc) for the "two players [who] left Temple voluntarily"
- Sophomores. Clarified. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 02:08, 27 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Make clear this is shortly before the 2010-2011 season started? On October 21, 2010, the Owls were picked by other Atlantic 10 coaches to win the league, receiving 19 first place votes.
- Done. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 02:12, 27 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Watch WP:OVERLINKing - redshirt is linked three times in three paragraphs
- Delinked. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 02:17, 27 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
In Recruiting is there any reason not to use regular ref tags in the two tables of assessment of incoming players?
- Part of the the table. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 02:17, 27 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I would probably add a sentence explaining that "incoming signees" were typically recruited the previous season and that 2011-12 team recruits will not join the team until the following season.
- In my opinion, this is not important. It says when they committed. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 02:17, 27 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Add year? The sole member of the Owls' 2011 recruiting class is Will Cummings, a point guard from Jacksonville, Florida who committed on September 4[, 2010].[23]
- Done. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 02:26, 27 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Refs needed for Schedule?
- Fixed. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 02:32, 27 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Can it comehow be made clear when the postseason starts in the March table? A10 and NCAA
- Does this matter? It is mentioned in the season section. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 02:32, 27 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
POV? On December 12, behind Micheal Eric's 16 points, Temple destroyed Akron 82-47.
- Changed to routed. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 02:39, 27 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Language is decent, but a copy edit before FAC would be a good idea.
- Would you mind? ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 02:39, 27 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
The model articles each have a sort of postseason analysys and what happened to the team and its members section. I realize they are about national football champions and not a decent basketball team, but it might be worth looking at them and seeing if there is any sort of additional post season material to add. Have any members of the team been drafted into the NBA or other pro basketball league, for example?
- Added an NBA Draft section. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 02:48, 27 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 04:26, 23 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]