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Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/Veronica Mars (season 2)/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured list nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured list candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The list was promoted by Matthewedwards 07:12, 11 April 2009 [1].

Veronica Mars (season 2) edit

Nominator(s): Corn.u.co.pia • Disc.us.sion
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I am nominating this for featured list because I feel it meets the FL criteria. With the almost pass of the first season, and having formatted this list after that one, there should be few problems. Corn.u.co.pia • Disc.us.sion 11:06, 25 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Quick comments

  • "Veronica Mars (Kristen Bell) it her mission to discover why the bus crashed" - makes it?
  • Spell out PCH on first occasion, assuming it is an abbr. for Pacific Coast Highway or something.
  • I know it is explained in the first season but you may need to explain "09ers" again here.
    • You explain this in the ==Episodes== section but have already used it twice in the ==Cast and crew== section. It should be expained on the first occurance. Rambo's Revenge (ER) 09:29, 4 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Other stuff I mentioned in the season 1 list: Ref dates, worldwide coverage, general ref, awards etc. Rambo's Revenge (How am I doing?) 14:46, 26 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the comments. Everything except for the ref dates has been fixed; I'll get on that later. Corn.u.co.pia • Disc.us.sion 06:47, 27 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
All done. Corn.u.co.pia • Disc.us.sion 09:31, 28 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment - How come these pages always have the episodes listed last? To me, it never made sense to have reception for a topic that you have no context for. It just seems that you should read about what happens in the season before you read about whether someone liked it. It's kind of the same principle behind why film articles don't put the plot section last Other than that, it seems to match the other recent FLs for season articles that have come out. Got my support.  BIGNOLE  (Contact me) 04:37, 28 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Thanks for the support. The order of the episodes vs. prose is following the norm., although I can totally see where you're coming from. I guess this allows the prose to be more obvious/dominant, as the plot is kinda summed up in the lead. Corn.u.co.pia • Disc.us.sion 05:09, 28 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Resolved comments from Truco
Lead
  • Logan Echolls (Jason Dohring) is accused of killing a Pacific Coast Highway biker gang member after drunkenly picking a fight with Eli "Weevil" Navarro (Francis Capra) and the PCHers. -- The acronym should be formatted as Pacific Coast Highway (PCH), so its later use can make more sense.
  • "09ers" Dick Casablancas (Ryan Hansen) and Cassidy "Beaver" Casablancas (Kyle Gallner) deal with a gold-digging stepmother, Kendall Casablancas (Charisma Carpenter), with whom they are left when their father flees the country while under investigation for real estate fraud. -- (1)I would give a link to someplace that explains gold-digging (yes I know what it means, but others might not) (2)add with before when their father
  • Why isn't PCH linked here, but its linked in the Cast section?
Release
  • Eric Goldman of IGN wrote the season was "entertaining start to finish", with "great" returning characters and a "wonderful array of guest stars". -- Add that before the season was
  • Goldman was displeased with the lack of extras, and criticized the crew for the lack of commentaries. -- Since this is in a new section (distribution), you should make it aware that this is IGN's Goldman.
  • Network Ten broadcast the second season in Australia on Fridays at 10.35pm. -- Is it necessary to list the timeslot when the other mentions of broadcasting don't have that?
  • Awards: Kristen Bell won the Saturn Award for Best Television Actress,[30] and was nominated for the Satellite Award for Actress in a Series, Drama,[31] and the Teen Choice Award for Choice TV Actress: Drama/Action Adventure. -- Reword to Kristen Bell won the Saturn Award for Best Television Actress,[30] was nominated for the Satellite Award for Actress in a Series and Drama,[31] and the Teen Choice Award for Choice TV Actress: Drama/Action Adventure.
Episodes
  • I would seek a copyedit of these notes, as this is difficult to review for reviewers.
References
  • The General references are improperly formatted, they should be cited in a cite web template like they are in in this FL.
  • Some refs are linked more than once, others are not, like the ABC publisher. If you link others more than once, all need to be linked more than once.--Best, ₮RUCӨ 22:27, 29 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Thanks again for the comments. :) I have tweaked all issues, but I haven't inquired for a copyeditor because the summaries were all copied from the "List of episodes" page, which itself is a FL. Thanks again, Corn.u.co.pia • Disc.us.sion 06:51, 30 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support -- Previous issues have been resolved; the article now meets WP:WIAFL.--Best, ₮RUCӨ 22:38, 30 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Support, all issues resolved. Dabomb87 (talk) 03:41, 4 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved issues, Dabomb87 (talk)
Comments from Dabomb87 (talk · contribs)

Done

  • "while Jennifer Gwartz, Danielle Stokdyk "-->and Jennifer Gwartz, Danielle Stokdyk
  • "Dunn, who portrayed Duncan Kane, " Repetition of "portrayed".
  • "Logan-Veronica relationship" See WP:DASH, it should be "Logan–Veronica relationship".
  • "whom he though kept the season "humming along"" "whom"-->who, see Whom#Subject whom as my reasoning.
  • "performance Emmy-worthy" I'd appreciate a quote on this.
  • "numerous critics found issue with the complexity"-->numerous critics were frustrated by the complexity
  • "was displeased with the lack of extras, and criticized the crew for the lack of commentaries." Could you do away with the "lack ... lack" repetition?
  • "When a number of athletes including Wallace and Meg fail their drug tests"-->When several athletes—including Wallace and Meg—fail their drug tests
  • "the coach of the team"-->the team's coach
  • "finds out that"-->discovers that
  • "and does some investigating of his own to impress her" Very vague.
  • "She decides to go public with the information" Be a little more precise in the phrasing here. Does she post the information somewhere?
  • "after a witness comes forward" And... (what do they say)?
  • "Weevil tells Logan he no longer believes" Insert "that" after "Logan".
  • "of the bridge witness Dr. Griffith" What does "bridge witness" mean here? Be careful of vague back references.
  • "and reveals that he has a gambling problem. " Could this be simplified to "and reveals thatis a gambling addict."?
  • "Veronica is hired to discover who is mugging pizza boys and who is blackmailing gay students at Neptune High." Needs rephrasing to remove close repetition of "who is".
  • "Keith uses this information to force Sheriff Lamb" Could this be considered blackmailing?
  • "Hearst College" needs a section link, not just a redirect to the main locations article.
  • "It is Graduation Day for Veronica and her classmates, but Sheriff Lamb intends to make things difficult for Weevil." Not seeing the contradiction here, which is implied by "but". Dabomb87 (talk) 23:37, 30 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "private-eye sideline job and tough persona" Is there something a little more formal and encyclopedic than this? I have no idea as to what a "sideline job" is.
  • "and is being blackmailed by Sheriff Lamb" For what?

Not done (yet)

  • "deal with a gold-digging stepmother" The Wiktionary link is appreciated, but this is still too colloquial.

Sources

Thank you so much for that in-depth review. I'll try to fix everything else ASAP. Corn.u.co.pia • Disc.us.sion 06:05, 31 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sources look good. Dabomb87 (talk) 03:41, 4 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments from 97198
Some comments
  • Veronica Mars ranked #145 out of #156 - something can't rank out "number 156"; should probably be "145th out of 156"
  • If you could find it, an season average of viewers would work well in the lead
  • six of which were regulars in the first season - "six of whom"
  • "09ers" Dick Casablancas (Ryan Hansen)... - don't need quotation marks as term has been established above
  • Thomas, who said he - "said that he"
  • Brian Raftery of Entertainment Weekly praised the ingenious cast - this doesn't necessary imply that he believed the cast to be ingenious; it just says matter-of-factly that the cast is ingenious, so could do with a reword to clarify that this was the reviewer's opinion
  • maintaining Veronica's trademark wit and cleverness."[9] - full-stop/period should be outside quotation mark as it's not a full sentence
  • Could be useful to link "Wikipedic"
  • The second season was released in the USA - just "US"
  • In addition to all the aired episodes - "all of"
  • DVD extras included two featurettes: ... - the colon implies that the featurettes consist of everything onwards; could be reworded
  • Goldman was displeased with the scarce amount of extras - not sure "scarce" is the right word here
  • reviewers for UGO Networks wrote the DVD box set - "wrote that"
  • Can you find more specific (even a month?) details of when the season aired in Australia?
  • The man Alicia met in Chicago - "the man who"
  • a juror for a case between two "09er" boys - again, the "09er" term has been explained so we can drop the quotation marks
  • There seems to be some inconsistency between "Lilly" and "Lily"

Otherwise, looks good. Nice work :) —97198 (talk) 05:47, 1 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • Support Concerns have been addressed. Nice work :) —97198 (talk) 02:42, 4 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support - Seems to match up comparably to the other FLs of season articles.  BIGNOLE  (Contact me) 11:53, 9 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I confirm my support after the criteria changes. Dabomb87 (talk) 12:20, 9 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • Despite the new FL criteria, this list is still up to those standards. My Support for promotion stands.--Truco 14:58, 9 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Confirming my support after changes to criteria. —97198 (talk) 01:21, 10 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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