Wikipedia

Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/Sushmita Sen filmography/archive1

< Wikipedia:Featured list candidates
The following is an archived discussion of a featured list nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured list candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The list was promoted by PresN via FACBot (talk) 00:28, 30 January 2021 (UTC) [1].[reply]

Sushmita Sen filmography

edit

Sushmita Sen filmography (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

Toolbox
Nominator(s): 25 CENTS VICTORIOUS ☣✅ 09:21, 2 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured list because the filmography gives a good summary of Sushmita Sen's extensive career in the Hindi film industry. I expect constructive comments from the reviewers. All helpful comments on improvement are welcome... 25 CENTS VICTORIOUS ☣✅ 09:21, 2 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments from ChrisTheDude (talk) 11:05, 7 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
==== Comments from ChrisTheDude ====
  • "the winner of the Miss Universe of 1994" => "the winner of the Miss Universe pageant of 1994"
 Fixed
  • "In 1999, Sen carved her own space" - literally no idea what this means, can you clarify?
She secured a role in the movie.
In that case say "secured a role". "Carved her own space" is not a valid English expression -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 15:58, 3 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Changed to accepted a supporting role. Let me know if it's okay.
  • "super-hit" is not an encyclopedic word at all
 Fixed
  • "making it big at the box office" - a bit too slangy
 Fixed
  • "went on rake in over" - it would be "went on to rake in", but again "rake in" is too slangy, please re-word
 Fixed
  • "in the song song 'Dilbar Dilbar'" - bizarre repetition of the word song, also song titles should use double quote marks (") not single
 Fixed
  • "Sen made a special song appearance in a song" - repetition of song
 Fixed
  • "made Sen a rage" - what does this mean?
Seductive, exciting.
Still not sure what you mean. The song made her seductive? How? It certainly need changing to something, as "it made her a rage" is completely meaningless in English, but I'm struggling to suggest an alternative as I don't really know what it's meant to say..... -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 15:58, 3 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Sen had two release" => "Sen had two releases" (plural)
 Fixed
  • Replace "viz" with a colon
 Fixed
  • "while later was a disaster" - it should be "while the latter" not "while later", also "disaster" is not NPOV, please reword
 Fixed
  • "Sen's further featured" - don't know what this means
Her role in upcoming films.
  • " fifth highest grosser film" = " fifth highest-grossing film"
 Fixed
  • "Her biggest hit has been the 2004 Farah Khan's directorial debut Main Hoon Na" +> "Her biggest hit has been 2004's Main Hoon Na, the directorial debut of Farah Khan"
 Fixed
 Fixed
  • No need for a capital on Chemistry
 Fixed
  • "Sen received praised" => "Sen received praise"
 Fixed
  • "2005 romantic comedy Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya?." - get rid of that full stop
 Fixed
  • "Inspired by a famous French play Fleur de cactus," => "Inspired by a famous French play, Fleur de cactus,"
 Fixed
  • "Main Aisa Hi Hoon, which released in the same year," => "Main Aisa Hi Hoon, which was released in the same year,"
 Fixed
  • "Sen played the role portrayed by Michelle Pfeiffer in the original." - source?
 Fixed
  • "In 2004, she was also seen with" => "In 2004, she also starred with"
 Fixed
  • Get rid of "viz" again
 Fixed
  • "sank at the box office" => "performed badly at the box office"
 Fixed
  • "Sen subsequently suffered a brief setback in her career as he starred" => "Sen subsequently suffered a brief setback in her career as she starred"
 Fixed
  • "in series of films" => "in a series of films"
 Fixed
  • No need for hyphen in box office
 Fixed
  • "which remains her last film of 2015 so far" - well obviously, she's never going to make another film of 2015 now......
 Fixed I replaced it with remained.
My point is that "her last film of 2015 so far" is nonsense, because she is never going to make another film in 2015 -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 15:58, 3 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Changed to her only release of 2015 so far. Not sure if it is correct (grammatically).
Apologies, but maybe I am not making clear what the issue is. You can't say "her only/last film of 2015 so far" because the expression "someone's only/last [something] of [year] so far" means that there are potentially more of that thing to come in that year. Obviously she is not going to make any more "films of 2015" given that we are now in 2020, so the words "so far" are the problem..... -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 07:56, 5 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 FixedChanged it to her only release of 2015.
  • "and did not had a release for another five years" => "and did not have a release for another five years"
 Fixed
  • "Sen played dual role." => "Sen played dual roles."
 Fixed
  • Quite a lot to work through there, but it's all little things..... -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 16:10, 2 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Comments from Kailash29792

edit

25 Cents FC, I really wish you submit articles for copyediting at the GOCE before nominating them since prose is not your strong point. Kailash29792 (talk) 08:38, 3 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Kailash29792 I think you are right mate. Will do it henceforth.--25 CENTS VICTORIOUS ☣✅ 12:16, 3 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Meanwhile Kailash29792 improvement suggestions please ?--25 CENTS VICTORIOUS ☣✅ 04:15, 5 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
It's just prose and table-related. You get someone to re-edit the lead section, and I'll improve the table later today. Kailash29792 (talk) 05:53, 5 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I gave an attempt to solve it by myself. Let me know if it's okay or still has issue.
Support: Hats off to Yash and MSG17 for improving this article. --Kailash29792 (talk) 16:37, 17 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Resolved comments from Cowlibob (talk) 11:24, 26 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
* The reason the prose looks so patchy is that significant portions of the lead is directly copied from the sources. See Earwig's result here: [[2]]. The lead needs to be carefully rewritten as it currently contains a lot of plagiarism.
  • I will have to Oppose at this time as that is a very serious issue. Cowlibob (talk) 10:27, 6 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
No problem. Will work on it. Give me some time.--25 CENTS VICTORIOUS ☣✅ 09:32, 7 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Hi @Cowlibob: I have tried my best to copy edit the list. Please check and revert. Would be helpful if you could help a little. As you must have noticed film related articles are not my strong point.--25 CENTS VICTORIOUS ☣✅ 12:44, 9 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Hello @Cowlibob: @Kailash29792: Awaiting for your responses.--25 CENTS VICTORIOUS ☣✅ 14:10, 16 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Comments on the re-written lead
  • "Sen made her screen debut in 1996 with thriller Dastak" => "Sen made her screen debut in 1996 with the thriller Dastak"
 Fixed
  • "In 1999, Sen accepted a supporting role in David Dhawan's comedy-drama Biwi No.1, the movie received" - "the movie" should be the start of a new sentence
 Fixed
  • "the second highest-grossing movie of 1999" - among all Hindi films? Among all films in India? Among all films in the world?
 Fixed
  • "Releasing just months after Biwi No.1" => "Released just months after Biwi No.1"
 Fixed
  • "The film earned Sen critical appreciation, while making it financially successful" => "The film earned Sen critical appreciation and was financially successful"
 Fixed
  • "for her performance in the song "Dilbar Dilbar"" => "for her performance of the song "Dilbar Dilbar""
  • "Sen made a special appearance in a song Mehboob Mere" - song title should be in quote marks, not italics. Also, what does this actually mean? She her only appearance in the film was to perform this song?
Yes. She was not a part of the movie rather appeared in that song.
  • "a movie made on the concept of surrogacy" => "a film on the theme of surrogacy"
 Fixed
  • " In 2003, Sen played the role of ACP Malvika Chauhan in thriller Samay: When Time Strikes" => " In 2003, Sen played the role of ACP Malvika Chauhan in the thriller Samay: When Time Strikes"
 Fixed
  • "which was the fifth highest-grossing film in the year 2002" - see comment above about 1999
 Fixed
  • "Inspired by a famous French play" - I would remove the word famous, it is a bit NPOV and a brief Google search doesn't suggest the play is actually particularly famous anyway.......
 Fixed
  • "it emerged as the fifth-highest-grossing film of the year" - clarify again. Also, I notice this is linked to List of Bollywood films of 2005#Top_grossing_films - is there an equivalent list to link to for 1999 and 2002?
  • "In the same year Sen acted in the drama Main Aisa Hi Hoon, a remake"
  • "Movies where Sen played the protagonist in Kalpana Lajmi’s Chingaari (2006) and Tanuja Chandra’s Zindaggi Rocks (2006) performed badly at the box office" => "Kalpana Lajmi’s Chingaari (2006) and Tanuja Chandra’s Zindaggi Rocks (2006), in which Sen played the protagonist, performed badly at the box office"
 Fixed
  • "Sen subsequently suffered a brief setback in her career as she starred in a series of films that performed poorly at the box office" - you just mentioned that her 2006 films did badly at the box office, so if the same thing happened the following year then it wasn't a "subsequent setback", it was a continuation of one which had started the year before
Consequently ??
I think the whole thing needs rewording. You say it was a "brief" setback, but it apparently lasted for four years, which definitely isn't brief. You also use almost identical wording twice ("performed badly at the box office"/"performed poorly at the box office"). I would say "Over the next four years she starred in a series of films, including action drama Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag (2007), romantic drama Karma Aur Holi (2009), romantic comedy Dulha Mil Gaya (2010) and action comedy No Problem (2010), which were commercially unsuccessful and failed to impress audiences" -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 15:54, 20 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "After staying away from films for five years, Sen appeared in English-Bengali bilingual film It Was Raining That Night in 2005" - this makes no sense. You talk about films she starred in from 2006 to 2010, and then you suddenly jump back to 2005 (??) and say it was her first film for five years, which clearly isn't true.
 Fixed Sorry for the goof up. I actually wanted to write about her first Bengali film but forget to make a change.
  • "In 2019, Sen made her debut in web television. She featured in Aarya" - the table says 2020, not 2019 -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 07:24, 17 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Fixed 2020 it is.--25 CENTS VICTORIOUS ☣✅ 13:39, 17 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Source review - Pass

edit
  • Youtube is not really a reliable source, especially when others exist. Would it be possible to find a different source ref 42 and 12?
 Fixed
  • ref 3 is the "economic times" not the "entertainment times"?
 Fixed
  • ref 14 missing author (Shomini Shen I think)
 Fixed
To be honest with you, I get so confused between ref's WORK and PUBLISHER thing. Do not understand if they are same or different. Some ref for example Times of India have subsidiary like Entertainment times as a result, I put Times of India as a publisher. The New Indian Express or Hindustan Times doesn't have, so I mentioned them under WORK. I am not sure if I should link WORK / PUBLISHER or both.--25 CENTS VICTORIOUS ☣✅ 16:16, 26 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Aza24: Awaiting your response--25 CENTS VICTORIOUS ☣✅ 12:59, 30 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • formatting and reliability looks good, other than these things Aza24 (talk) 01:40, 26 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • I completely understand your confusion, it is a little odd. Basically every news source has a work and publisher. The work is just what ever the newspaper is, like the The Indian Express or The Times of India and the publishers would be Indian Express Limited and The Times Group respectively. I believe the Hindustani Times is published by HT Media and the New Indian Express by Express Publications (Madurai) Limited D, but sometimes they're not explicitly clear. When the work and publisher have extremely similar names, like The New York Times that's published by the The New York Times company, you only need to list the work. I won't be picky here as the formatting is fine how it is now, pass for source review.
Thanks a lot for clearing confusion I had. All sorted.--25 CENTS VICTORIOUS ☣✅ 04:15, 31 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Comments Edwininlondon

I am no Bollywood expert (although I do like to listen to Lata Mangeshkar), so just a few comments:

  • David Dhawan's comedy-drama Biwi No.1. --> I would link David Dhawan and then unlink comedy-drama to avoid a sea of links
Done
  • link Bollywood
Done
  • Sen subsequently won --> Too many sentences use Sen I think. She will do fine quite often
Done
  • Released just months after Biwi No.1, Sen featured in love triangle musical drama Sirf Tum (1999) --> Now it reads as if Sen was released. The subject of the second part should be the film. Or rephrase entirely.
Done
  • as it went on collect --> to collect
Done
  • in a song "Mehboob Mere" --> in the song "Mehboob Mere"
Done
  • fantasy comedy film --> I'm not sure if this, and a few others like Tamil-language romantic action film, needa a hyphen.
  • After initial success, --> not sure what you mean here ... her initial success?
  • link surrogacy
Done
  • ensemble cast heist thriller --> doesn't look right to me. Hyphen? Hyphens? add "the"?
  • in 2005 romantic comedy --> in the 2005 romantic comedy
Done
  • it emerged as the fifth-highest-grossing film of the year --> the hyphens here look right. But it was not used before, so those others (second highest and fifth highest) need fixing. Second point: I like the link here, but I now ask myself: could the other statements about second highest and fifth highest also be links?
  • Sen acted in drama Main Aisa Hi Hoon --> in the drama, or in the drama movie
Done
  • Hollywood --> link
Done
  • In 2004, she also starred --> why are we now going back a year?
  • in English-Bengali film --> in the English-Bengali film
Done
  • poorly at the box office --> there is a lot of repetition of this phrase in short succession. Any chance you could rephrase some?
  • her first Bengali film Nirbaak directed by --> I would add a comma before directed
Done
  • Sen played dual role --> a dual role
Done
  • Source formatting check: Kyo Kii.. Main Jhuth Nahin Bolta" --> 3 dots
Done
  • "Dastak- 1996". Bollywood Hungama. --> There are quite a few of these Hungama refs. Most of them use an en dash. They should all have the same format, including the spacing around the en dash. "Dastak – 1996"
    • Removed dash and year as they weren't in the original title
  • "Aaghaz −2000". Bollywood Hungama] --> stray ]. Probably missing [[ ]
    • Fixed
  • Spotcheck sources: #1, #42, #48, #49, #50 all check out ok.
  • #2 on its own does not fully support the third sentence in the lead. It doesn't seem to say the movie is from 1997.
  • #3 supports most of the facts it is meant to support except for "Sen subsequently won the Filmfare Best Supporting Actress Award for her role as model Rupali."
  • Source #12 says "It Was Raining That Night" never got released. Shouldn't there be a footnote to mention this?
  • I am not the right person to judge whether Bollywood Hungama is a reliable source. I'm going to assume it is, even though the article Bollywood Hungama has it as a gossip site.

That's it from me. Edwininlondon (talk) 17:16, 16 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

25 Cents FC hasn't edited for almost two months. If no-one is willing to pick this nomination it'll need to be closed in the next few days. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 11:20, 1 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
@The Rambling Man: I volunteer to take it up. MSG17 (talk) 14:23, 13 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
MSG17 thanks! The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 15:03, 13 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
MSG17 I have done the easy edits, and marked them above as Done. There are a few comments that I could try to fix but I wouldn't trust myself being correct, so I left them. Edwininlondon (talk) 07:45, 17 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Edwininlondon Can you please have a look? I have replaced most of the 'Bollywood Hungama' sources and copy-edited the lead as well. Yashthepunisher (talk) 12:44, 17 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
@Edwininlondon and Yashthepunisher: Thanks for fixing the article's issues quickly. I thought I would do that today, but you both did a great job on addressing these problems. I don't know how reliable Apple TV and Vagabomb/ScoopWhoop as are encyclopedic sources, though, so I have replaced them with a Filmfare article.
  • Support I have performed a bunch of changes since the nominator was inactive. I don't see any issues now. Yashthepunisher (talk) 06:20, 18 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
New comments Edwininlondon

I had a fresh look at the article, given its numerous changes, and I'm sorry to say I have a few new comments:

  • The body now does not mention the word Bollywood. This surprises me. Is this intentional? There are 6 sources that have Bollywood in the title, so it seems to me her work falls in the Bollywood category.
    • Although both Bollywood and Hollywood are well known and used in multiple contexts, filmography articles tend to use the more mundane descriptions of "American actor" or "Hindi cinema". I think this is because of practical reasons: American actors might work in the film industries of other countries, especially in the UK or Australia, and not as many readers might be familiar with the term Bollywood (then there would be the inevitable MOS discussion on whether to use the [x]ollywood name for other Indian film industries, such as Tollywood for Telugu or Bangla film).
  • Sen appeared in supporting role --> I'm not a native speaker but I would write "in a supporting role"
    • Agreed, decided to spice up the prose a bit and reworked the sentence
  • the inconsistent use of hyphens looks wrong to me. There are cases of words strong together without hyphens (e.g. romantic action film, fantasy comedy film) and others with hyphens (e.g. comedy-drama, ensemble heist-thriller, fifth highest-grossing Hindi film). When I have time I'll study MOS:HYPHEN, but hopefully one of the other reviewers is more experienced and can review it. It may all be okay, but I have my suspicions.
    • Removed hyphens in the case of genres. I decided to make "heist thrller" into "heist film" to reduce the repetition a bit as it is already an established genre. "Highest-grossing" is an example of the hyphen being needed for an adjective, see List of highest-grossing films.
  • The film earned her --> repetition
    • @Edwininlondon: I don't see it, did something get changed after you made this comment? Can you be more specific?
  • English-Bengali --> in the list below it is given as Bengali / English language film. Is there a reason for the different order? And for different spelling?
    • Changed it to "Bengali-English" (alphabetical order) for all occurrences. Delinked the languages because I think that it a case of overlinking not allowed by the MOS.
  • I see there is far less reliance on Bollywood Hungama as a source, which is good but there are still a few left. I am not the right person to judge whether Bollywood Hungama is a reliable source but the Wiki article has it as a gossip site, which seems suspicious.
    • Bollywood Hungama is reliable as per WP:ICTFSOURCES and WP:ICTFFAQ, although I would prefer not to use it if there are better sources available, so I have replaced all occurences.

That's it. Edwininlondon (talk) 21:10, 18 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@Edwininlondon: Responded to all your comments. MSG17 (talk) 21:26, 19 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Good job in taking over the nomination. I have not checked the sources, but I do give my Support on prose.Edwininlondon (talk) 22:29, 19 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Promoted. --PresN 04:38, 29 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

  • Closing note: This candidate has been promoted, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FLC/ar, and leave the {{featured list candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through.
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_list_candidates/Sushmita_Sen_filmography/archive1&oldid=1003648722"