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Oppose/Comments from Truco (talk · contribs) -- Prose/Formatting issues
- Lead
- The Chicago Marathon, which will next be held on October 11, 2009,[1] is one of the five World Marathon Majors. -- The statement about the 2009 event really stands out, especially being the introductory sentence. I recommend moving it further down the lead.
- What about this?--TRUCO 23:20, 21 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Once again, what about this comment?--TRUCO 00:16, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Since 1983, it has been held in October every year. -- Reword to Since 1983, it has been held annually in October.
- The United States has been represented by the most winners (eight men and twelve women) -- Unlink United States, per WP:LINKS, common geographical terms should not be linked.
- After a sixth consecutive win by a Kenyan man in 2008, Kenyan men have won more times (nine) than men representing any other country. -- Like I stated above, Kenya is a common geographical term, remove link
- The United Kingdom is in third place among both men (five) and women (three) as well as overall. -- (1)As state above, unlink United Kingdom (2)Reword to The United Kingdom is in third place overall among both men (five) and women (three).
- All four of Brazil's victors have been male,[4] and all three of Portugal's winners have been female. -- You have several options here, reword the gender part of the sentence to "have been a male", "have been males", or "have been men" (this applies to the females as well)
- Runners representing the United Kingdom swept the race in 1996 (Paul Evans and Marian Sutton). -- For one, unlink United Kingdom per above, second, it shouldn't even be linked twice per WP:OVERLINK.
- The first six pairs of races were swept by the United States.[6] Runners representing the United Kingdom swept the race in 1996 (Paul Evans and Marian Sutton).[7] Kenya has swept the race twice (1998 and 2001) and is the most recent country to do so with (Ben Kimondiu and Catherine Ndereba). -- Repetition of swept, please reword accordingly.
- Kenya has swept the race twice (1998 and 2001) and is the most recent country to do so with (Ben Kimondiu and Catherine Ndereba). -- (1)Comma before the and (before the parenthesis) (2)the last part should be "to do so with representative Ben Kimondiu and Catherine Ndereba." [the original was grammatically incorrect.
- Adding a comma would improperly conjoin the phrases. It would indicate that the latter is independent, but the latter has no subject and is thus dependent on the former. As a result no comma.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 06:05, 21 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- ..who is also the most recent American male to have won the Boston Marathon. -- why is this relevant to this list?
- Merge the second and third paragraphs into one, they are too short to stand alone.
- There have been several two-time winners (counting Khannouchi, five men and six women) -- Reword to There have been several two-time winners including Khannouchi, five men and six women.
- No one other than Khannouchi has won three races and no one has won three consecutive. -- Did Khannouchi win these consecutively? If so, the way this is written does not state that, it should then be "No one other than Khannouchi has won three races or three consecutively."
- It means to say that Khannouchi is the only runner who has won three but not consecutively.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 06:20, 21 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Well consecutive should be "consecutively"--TRUCO 23:20, 21 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- 1979 winner Laura Michalek was just 15 years old. -- This statement just stands out in the paragraph about the world records, it should be moved somewhere more suitable.
- O.K. How do you like the current placement?--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 06:24, 21 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- I would state what country she is from as it is not clear in its current wording.--TRUCO 23:20, 21 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- There have been two male and two female world records set in the race. The United Kingdom has had both a male and a female world record in Chicago. The most recent world record was set by Paula Radcliffe, who succeeded Catherine Ndereba as a world record holder in 2002.[3] Khannouchi set the last male world record in the Chicago Marathon in 1999.[3] After Ndereba set the record in 2001, both the men's and women's current marathon world records had been set in the Chicago Marathon. -- It would help the reader if they actually knew what the records were for.
- Winners
- The following is a list of Chicago Marathon Champions. -- Yeah, I think the reader is aware of that, no need to state that.
- There is an error with the sorting of the date column.
- The blank entries of 1987 should also have emdashes that are centered aligned versus a blank cell.
- Country Summary
- The Summary in the name of the header should not be capitalized.
- The following table summarizes victors by country. -- The reader is aware of that, no need to state it.
- No need for the refs, it will be covered by the general references.
- Notes
- Since a footnote will be added and a general reference will be added, this section should be renamed to References
- Link to Bank of America since other publishers are linked as well.
- Images
- Caption: The 2007 men's race was extremely close. -- This is WP:POV, rewrite something else.
- Caption: 2005 winner Felix Limo in 2007 race -- Reword to 2005 winner Felix Limo in the 2007 event.
- Reword this 2006 winner Robert Cheruiyot in 2008 accordingly as well (like stated)TRUCO 22:26, 20 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- The references, [4] and [5], should be made into general references, see the reference section of this FL on how to complete this.
- The 1987 entry is awkward, can a footnote be added explaining what this means.
- O.K.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 09:23, 21 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- In addition, the correct wording should be "ran as a half marathon" or "ran as half a marathon". Plus, for my original comment, I meant a add a footnote explaining what this means or why this occurred not add a reference footnote.--TRUCO 16:29, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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