Wikipedia

Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/List of Chicago Wolves award winners/archive1

< Wikipedia:Featured list candidates
The following is an archived discussion of a featured list nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured list candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The list was not promoted by Giants2008 10:01, 6 May 2013 (UTC) [1].[reply]

List of Chicago Wolves award winners

edit

List of Chicago Wolves award winners (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

Toolbox
Nominator(s): Mo Rock...Monstrous (leech44) 19:33, 8 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured list. List is comparable to List of Calgary Flames award winners, which is currently a FL. My last Chicago Wolves based list was not promoted due to criteria 3b. With the large amount of information covered and the overall length of the multiple tables I don't think that is concern with this page. Cheers Mo Rock...Monstrous (leech44) 19:33, 8 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments from Giants2008 (Talk) 21:06, 28 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Oppose – Sorry, but I see a number of issues in the writing at the moment.
  • "Wendell Young's number 1 was retired in 2001 five years later Maltais' number 11 was removed from circulation." Feels like it needs a semi-colon after 2001.
  • Team trophies and awards: "the Wolves have won two championships in both leagues. first winning the...". Period should be a comma.
  • "The 2001–2002 championship occurred in the Wolves inaugural AHL season." Wolves needs an apostrophe at the end. A similar edit is needed for the Rob Brown photo caption. Same goes for "the Wolves high scoring top line" in American Hockey League.
  • Second word of the Individual Awards heading should be decapitalized.
  • Comma before "Maltais led the league in the 1999–2000 season" should be a semi-colon instead.
  • I'm not sure if we can say that "As a franchise Chicago's community involvement is evident" based on three awards in nine seasons. Maybe those particular players were just charitable on their own.
  • American Hockey League: Should the second word of "All-rookie team" be capitalized?
That is how it was listed in the source and it was consistent with All-Star. I de-capitalized it
  • "and being named league MPV."?
Changed the wording and linked Most Valuable Player, not sure if that is what this was referring to or not.
  • "Sterling lead the league in goals". "lead" → "led"?
  • In this table the players should be sorting by last name, not first name.
  • Kevin Connauton photo caption: I see "lokking" in the alt text as well as overcapitalization of colors.
  • Dan Snyder Man of the Year Award: In the Position column, the Wings don't need to be capitalized when appearing in their positions.
  • Tim Breslin Unsung Hero Award: Decapitalized "Championship" in the section's second paragraph.
  • In single-page book citations, the pp. should be p.
  • En dashes needed in refs 7, 25, and 28.
  • Reference section heading should be plural. Giants2008 (Talk) 20:39, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for reviewing. I believe I have addressed everything above. If I have misconstrued any thing and if there are more errors lurking, please let me know. Cheers --Mo Rock...Monstrous (leech44) 02:40, 22 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Then winning the Calder Cup in the 2001–2002 and 2007–2008 seasons.". This is a sentence fragment that would be better if combined with the sentence before it.
Well that was a bonehead mistake, added in the space. --Mo Rock...Monstrous (leech44) 21:16, 28 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Comments from Harrias talk
  • "As four time league champions the Wolves have won two titles in both the AHL and the IHL." The use of "As.." at the start of the sentence seems an odd construction: I would suggest cutting it, and rephrasing: "The Wolves are four-time league champions, having won two titles in both the AHL and the IHL."
changed
  • Is there a reason you use YYYY–YYYY rather than the MOS preferred YYYY–YY for seasons? (1999–2000 being an acceptable exception.)
In past FLCs it was asked to standardize the date, so with the inclusion of 1999-2000 I went with all of them being YYYY-YYYY. I can Change it if you think that would be better.
Okay I have changed all dates to the YYYY-YY format, except for those that cross the century lines.
  • Does the "Description" column need to be sortable in the tables? It seems a little odd, as there isn't really any logic to the ordering.
No reason, just lazy I suppose. Removed the sort-ability.
  • A number of sentences need extras commas: "Playing in both the AHL and IHL the Wolves have won two championships.." should be "Playing in both the AHL and IHL, the Wolves have won two championships.." and "While members of the IHL the Wolves.." should be "While members of the IHL, the Wolves.." are two such examples, but there are more scattered through the article.
I got the two listed and I think I found a couple of others, but commas aren't my strong suit so I'm sure I missed some.
  • "Brown's back to back scoring titles were also part of three in four seasons for him personally." This sentence seems awkwardly phrased. I'm not sure how relevant it really is to this list anyway, given that the two titles with the Wolves have already been listed, but if you want to keep it, it should be re-written.
Removed
  • It seems odd using "Top performers at each position over the course of the season." As the description for both First and Second-team All-Stars.
I followed suit with other ice hockey list of awards winner pages, most notably the List of Calgary Flames award winners, which is a FL.
  • Fair enough. As I say, it just seemed odd. Harrias talk 20:37, 18 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The 2006–2007 season was one of the most successful for the Wolves in terms of individual awards with two players winning four individual trophies and three players garnering end of the year All-Star team honors and two making the All-rookie team." Noun plus -ing, should be rephrased.
Reworded
  • "Although Krog was shutout of the postseason awards, he made up for it the following year" The use of "shutout" seems a little journalistic, rather than encyclopaedic, and particularly given that ice hockey uses the term as a specific statistic, I think it would be best to use a different term. The bit of the sentence after the comma certainly seems more journalistic rather than encyclopaedic.
Removed
  • "In 2007–2008 Krog led the league in goals, assists, and points becoming .." Add a comma after "points".
added
  • Personally I would list the individual awards by league first, ie
    1. International Hockey League
    2. International Hockey League All-Star Game selections
    3. American Hockey League
    4. American Hockey League All-Star Game selections
Moved around to the suggested organization.

I'll leave it there for the time being (as I have to get ready for football (soccer) this evening) but I will continue later. Harrias talk 16:36, 15 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I have fixed or commented on the above and will keep an eye out for further comments. Thank you for the review. Cheers --Mo Rock...Monstrous (leech44) 23:54, 15 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]


Mild oppose sorry for taking so long to get to this....

  • First lead para is a little clunky for me, four very short factoid sentences.
  • "are four time league " shouldn't that be "four-time"?
  • " Maltais is the most decorated individual in franchise history. He won three individual trophies along with being named a First Team All-Star three times and a Second Team All-Star three times." consider merging to avoid short, clunky sentences.
  • "plus former head" not keen on "plus" in regular prose.
  • Last two sentences of lead, these read odd for an encyclopedia, if "best typifies Breslin's on-ice spirit and team-first attitude" and "demonstrates the most outstanding dedication" are quotes, they should be in quotes, if not then they're not particularly encyclopedic.
  • Why is there a col heading missing for "Ref(s)" in the tables?
  • "Playing in both the AHL and IHL, the Wolves have won two championships in both leagues," -> " The Wolves have won two championships in both the AHL and the IHL..." perhaps?
  • "The 2001–02 championship occurred in the ..." -> "coincided with"?
  • "for excellence in all areas off the ice" same comment about non-encyclopedic tone applies here.
  • "called them a "Forerunner..." shouldn't be capital F.
  • "to 1998 award was given to champion of the Southern Conference/Division." perhaps make this note (and others) standalone, i.e. "Prior to 1998, the Robert W. Clarke Trophy was awarded to...."
  • If "IHL First All-Star Team" doesn't have an article, why is it notable enough to be listed here in this awards list? Same for other awards without articles.
  • You need a key for non-hockey readers. What's LW? What's D? etc.
  • "the two point performance " shouldn't that be "two-point"? And what is a two-point performance? I assume a player gets a point for an assist and a point for a goal but that's not noted anywhere, and I'm not a hockey expert.
  • "reintroduced in the 1994–1995 season." be consistent with year ranges per WP:YEAR.
  • "Kevin Connauton represented the Wolves at the 2012 All-Star Classic" needs a period.
  • "Kari Lehtonenf," e.g. I would put notes after the comma (as you would a ref).
  • Notes e, g, h have periods, f doesn't, why?
  • Notes a thru c are in regular size font, e thru h are smaller. Be consistent.
  • "Brett Sterling was the Dan Snyder Man of the Year Award winner in 2010" needs a period.
  • Why start "bolding" awards in the team award section?
  • "played parts of two seasons with the Wolves, playing in" quick repeat of "play" here, rephrase.
  • "Mark Matheson was the 2012 winner" of what? and needs a period.
  • "an International Hockey League (IHL) expansion team" avoid overlinking, you've already linked IHL (and explained the acronym) and you've already linked expansion team.
  • Ref 5 title number range needs an en-dash.
  • Ref 6 has an error.
  • Times Leader appears to really be called The Times-Leader.
  • I expect there's a "list of awards" category that could be added... (e.g. Category:Lists of award winners)

The Rambling Man (talk) 15:27, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_list_candidates/List_of_Chicago_Wolves_award_winners/archive1&oldid=1207938529"