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Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/List of Arizona state symbols/archive1

< Wikipedia:Featured list candidates‎ | List of Arizona state symbols
The following is an archived discussion of a featured list nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured list candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The list was not promoted by User:Scorpion0422 22:51, 25 June 2008 [1].

List of Arizona state symbols

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I have worked hard on this list and I feel this list fits all featured criteria. It has every symbol of Arizona listed and nearly every one of them is refereced . Almost every symbol has an image and the list is based onIndiana state symbols,Kentucky state symbols,and Maryland state symbols all featured lists. Bewareofdog 21:11, 12 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • Remove link from bold text or remove bold formatting per WP:LEAD. Done
  • The lead really needs to be expanded to give more information about the list. It's just too short and could probably be expanded with more useful information about the list. Done

Gary King (talk) 21:23, 12 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I don't understand you that well, when you say " Remove link from bold text" .Are you referring to the titles like flag,seal,tree? Bewareofdog 22:24, 12 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • What he means is that you should not wikilink any bolface words in the first sentence. Right now "U.S." and "State of Arizona" are wikilinked. You should find another place for those links, since they are necessary. Wikilinking the lead is considered an WP:MoS violation, but not until recently, that's why List of Maryland state symbols (reviewed july 2007) for example violates this rule. Baldrick90 (talk) 23:45, 12 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

A few more comments.

  • "is the,insect " – something wrong?
  • "neckware.[1] 15 of the state symbols" – I think somewhere in the MoS it suggests to not begin sentences with numbers.
  • The lead is still too short. Use this opportunity to explain things such as perhaps how state symbols are chosen, what is their significance, etc.?

Gary King (talk) 19:20, 13 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • PLEASE, in the third sentence, change "where" into "were". Done
  • Put a space after "insect" in the fifth sentence. Done
  • Remove a space after the lead. Done
  • No notes section?? Isn't there anything notable to comment on? Done

(ideas for note section)

-Are there any symbols that are also official symbols of other states/countries?
-Are there any symbols that have been adopted and later withdrawn, or changed?
-Can you tell something about how these symbols have been adopted, by who and why? For example, I just read that the frog was actually voted by students.
  • Many words are capitalised, and I don't know why. A few examples are "Ring-tailed Cat" (Why is the "C" capitalised?) and "Arizona Ridge-nosed Rattlesnake" (Why is the "R" in "Ridge" and in "Rattlesnake" a capital letter?)
  • Add "Latin" to the motto translation Done
  • "Un-Official" --> Unofficial Done
  • There is no point in wikilinking both "Saguaro blossom" and "Carnegiea gigantea", since both link to the same article. Unlink the Latin name.Done
  • No articles for "Arizona Capitol Museum and the Arizona songs?
  • Please add a reference to "1919" (I know it it the same reference as 1982, but it won't hurt anything and I believe it will improve the layout, you'll see)Done
  • Could you perhaps stress that the "year" column includes the year of adoption, not the year of creation?
  • Since there are two songs, change "Song" into "Songs" (In the type column of the culture section) Done
  • You might wanna add "first=Nora|last=Kirkeby|year=2006" to the twentieth reference (classbrain)Done
  • You need to find references for "Grand Canyon State" and "Copper State". Also, after a single click, I found another name on the List of U.S. state nicknames, "Apache State". Since any asshole could have written that down, please find a reliable source to back all three names.Done

I hope my comments are useful and it's very likely I will support once they are addressed. Your list looks nice and I would definitely like to see it featured. Lots of luck on your nomination, Baldrick90 (talk) 00:44, 13 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

More

  • Ah I have seen you added the student thing to the lead. I do not think this something to include in the lead, but for the notes section. You have already told us most are passed by state legislature. What are there other ways beside state legislature? Are there more than these four symbols elected by students? The details (like which have been elected by students, and how) are something for a notes section.
  • You should use "United States" before you are allowed to use "U.S."
  • Wiklink "Arizona" after "The newest symbol", the idea was that you remove links from the bold title and add them later on the text.Done
  • Put a space after the full stop: "State of Arizona".(add space)"The majority (..)"Done
  • Move the comma to the left, it should be right behind "insect", not right before "the"Done
  • I do not like the phrasing of the "The newest symbol". The symbol wasn't new, it was newly adopted.Done
  • Purely grammar and spelling: "The state amphibian,fish,mammal and reptile, were chose by students in Arizona." --> "The state amphibian, fish, mammal and reptile were chosen by students in Arizona".
  • What students? Why? How? These questions should be answered in the notes section.Done
  • Tell something about the number of symbols or Arizona, and whether or not this is a high or low number compared to other states (this is relevant for the lead)
  • Tell us in the note section which have been enacted by the governor, which are official and have not, and which are unofficial (are there any, and if how many)Done
  • When I look at List of Kentucky state symbols I see a pledge of allegiance to the flag of Kentucky. Does Arizona have such a pledge?
  • The most common state symbols, the flag and the seal, require more information.Done
  • Please be consistent: reference four says "Shg Resources". Ref 16 says "SHG Resources". Choose one and remain consistent.Done
  • The "See also" section should come before the "Notes" section, per WP:Layout#Standard appendices and descriptions Done
  • Add a link to Portal:Arizona. I would prefer to add it to the see also section (use this: "{{portal|Arizona|Flag of Arizona.svg||150px|break=no|left=no}}"). Done

Another unrelated comment, please don't use , since it slows down the page. Baldrick90 (talk) 01:45, 13 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Support: The list is very interesting and informative. Please correct the following:

  • On notes A, B, C, and D, please place a colon before the list of fauna. For example, add a colon after "Three other amphibians were considered(:)" where parentheses indicate this for note A.
  • On notes A and B, also remove the extra space before the period in the first sentence.
  • How did the Arizona students select the various fauna? Please state this somewhere in the list.
  • How are route markers significant as state symbols? Please explain in the "Other" section.--Dem393 (talk) 17:28, 13 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I see you began to implement some of my suggestions, but you had a little spacing problem with the oclons. I fixed it for you, though. =) Dem393 (talk) 18:31, 13 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • Lead section needs expanding.
  • "Most of the symbols were adopted in the 20th century." is way too vague, at both the beginning and the end"
  • I think "Symbol" is the wrong word for the header of the Mottos table. Is a nickname a symbol?
  • Reference for "Apache State". Could also do with a description column. Many outside of America won't know that the Apache Indians originate in Arizona.
  • Footnotes A through F need citations
  • Put the stuff under "Other" In the "See also" section

Matthewedwards (talk • contribs • email) 02:16, 23 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]


  • Oppose
    • Please recast the opening sentence so that it does not mostly or fully repeat the title of the article. Please note the standard set by Criterion 2 of the featured list criteria, which states that the lead should have "an engaging lead section", and the Bold title and Establish context sections in the styleguide for lead sections. The opening is just where we need to capture readers' attention by contexualising the list, not irritating them with straight repetition of what they've just read.
  • Column widths in the first table: can you rob from Columns 1 and 4 to widen 3?
  • The lead is quite inadequate (Cr. 2).
  • Please delink trivial chronological items such as "20th century".
  • Too much white space in second and subsequent lists, especially the humungous one to accommodate the neckware image. Can you explore other ways?
  • If there's a map of continental US, I'd use that instead of the one with irrelevant clutter, which is close to Arizona.

TONY (talk) 17:44, 23 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]


  • Oppose as currently presented
    • After that first sentence that Tony1 has rightly criticized, the lead section reads like a disconnected collection of factoids (almost a trivia section). Having written a lead section for a similar list article, I can sympathize with the challenge of writing this kind of material, but if this is going to be a featured list, the lead needs to have coherency.
    • Some columns are unnecessarily wide, while other columns are crammed into a small space. If I were making this list, I think I would eliminate the forcing of column widths.
    • In the Insignia table, it bothers me that the "Description" column is centered. Why not left-justify the text there?
    • Also in the Insignia table, is the "Symbol" column needed? (It seems redundant with "Type.")
    • Where does the article explain what "Year" signifies in the table headers? (I believe I know what it refers to, but the article didn't tell me...)
    • The heading for the "Mottos, slogan, and nickname" table is confusing. There's only one motto, but there are multiple nicknames. And where is the slogan?
    • Also in the "Mottos, slogan, and nickname" table, the images seem extraneous. The state seal is too small for me to read the motto on it, and it's not easy to see that the license plate includes one of the nicknames. Those illustrations would be more effective if there were captions or other text pointing out the words they include.
    • The bolo tie image seriously detracts from the "Culture" table. I suggest taking the images out of the table. Instead, display the bolo tie alongside the table, and include symbols for the colors in the description cell next to the words "Blue and old gold".

--Orlady (talk) 01:37, 25 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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