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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Turquoise parrot/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 19:49, 20 October 2014 (UTC) [1].[reply]

Turquoise parrot edit

Nominator(s): Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 11:26, 5 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Have brought this up from a stub, which I created. Feel it is up to par for Bird FAs. I will fix things pronto. Go for it. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 11:26, 5 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Source review - spotchecks not done

  • Fixed number of columns in {{reflist}} is deprecated in favour of colwidth
tweaked Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 14:00, 10 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Some odd formatting with FN21 in the article text
Nikkimariasorry, you've lost me Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 14:00, 10 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • GBooks links can generally be truncated after page number
  • FN23 returns 404 error
damn, that's just gone down....new link/page now Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 14:00, 10 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Be consistent in whether you include locations for books
added locations now Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 14:02, 10 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • FN14: more specific location?
tweaked Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 13:45, 10 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • FN19: check formatting of quotes within titles. Nikkimaria (talk) 20:31, 6 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
fixed Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 13:47, 10 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Image check - all OK

tweaked Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 14:09, 10 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Copyright-wise all images are OK, PD or CC with sufficient source and author information. Flickr-images show no signs of problems.

fixed Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 13:48, 10 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comments from Jim edit

Usual sound article, a few quibbles though.

  • The turquoise parrot (Neophema pulchella) is a parrot of the grass parrot genus Neophema —Triple repetition of "parrot" in one sentence. Suggest replacing second occurrence by "bird", and linking "parrot" in the next sentence.
tweaked Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:19, 16 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • potential nesting sites removed.—"lost"?
tweaked Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:19, 16 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Sydney district at the time of settlement in 1788—I assume you mean European settlement
oops...fixed Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:19, 16 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • la Perruche Edwards—italics for French name?
italicised Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:19, 16 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • impossible to represent this suprb little creature—is the typo in the original?
fixed Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:19, 16 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • The upperparts resemble the adult female—"those of..." or "kilo for kilo" would be better
tweaked Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:19, 16 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Nothing about parasites? Parrots are usually well studied for these
there is a pathogens section toward the bottom. It mentions a nematode too. it was slim pickings with this one... Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:19, 16 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
I look forward to supporting soon Jimfbleak - talk to me? 06:25, 16 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
All looks good, changed to support above Jimfbleak - talk to me? 14:28, 16 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Cwmhiraeth edit

Generally a solid article. Some points, mostly on the prose (I don't think this article is as polished as some of your FACs):

  • "The male is predominantly green in colour and more yellowish below with a bright turquoise blue face and red shoulders on the predominantly blue wings." - This is a very clunky sentence.
sentence split now Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 21:15, 25 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Nectar is mentioned in the lead but this does not reflect the diet as recorded in the body of the text.
an old edit - removed Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 21:15, 25 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • The lead section could be expanded a bit.
added a bit Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 21:03, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • One image caption has a lower case first word.
fixed Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 21:15, 25 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The two are an allopatric species pair, and are the only two species in the genus to exhibit marked sexual dimorphism." - I know these terms are wikilinked but it is helpful to the average reader not to have to click through to other pages to find out what they mean.
sexual dimorphism is easy to explain, the other is tricky without adding a great wad of text - Iwas tempted to add a footnote..but then pondered whether the bluelink is doing the same thing... Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:43, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The cere and orbital ring" - ditto.
changed the latter to eye-ring; I could add "The waxy strip at the base of the bill known as the cere..." - but it comes across a bit clumsy...? Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 15:32, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Wikilink or gloss "Aviculture"
linked Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 21:15, 25 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • In the Description section you use such sentences as "...the female has a broad white bar visible on its underwing." I consider "its" is awkward here and would personally use "the".
hmm, I have no strong preference - "its" sounds slightly better to me but I am not at all fussed to change them Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 13:06, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • The sentence starting "The turquoise parrot inhabits " is too long and needs splitting.
I've stared at that sentence - although long it's fairly simple and just segues into a long list. I can't see where to splice it without making it sound ungainly.
  • "Birds are present in some areas all year, though in northern Victoria are thought to move into more open areas outside the breeding season." - I think this could do with a noun or pronoun as subject for the second part of the sentence.
added Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 13:06, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Perhaps the image of the adult male should be on the left as I understand it is best to have animals facing into the page.
switched Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 13:06, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "... though it has been classified as near threatened ..." - I would use "was".
changed Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 13:06, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The population was tentatively estimated at 20,000 breeding birds in 2000, with around 90% residing in New South Wales, and is thought to be increasing." - This is a bit awkward.
rejigged Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 15:01, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • The New South Wales subsection is a bit disjointed, and I thought the "pie filling" bit a little odd.
I've rejigged this bit - yes the pie-filling is odd... Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 15:33, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Do you know why this bird has experienced such wide population swings?
many arid nomadic species can have wide population variations. It is a bit of a mystery and haven't seen much discussion on it other than to note it Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 02:12, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "... roost in the foliage ..." - Perhaps "among" would be better here.
personally I could go either way, but there's another "roost in" nearby so changed Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 21:21, 25 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • There are several rather short sentences in the Behaviour section.
have massaged it now Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 13:15, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It has been recorded feeding on seeds of various plant species ..." - The subject of the previous sentence was "seeds".
de-pronouned Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 13:15, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • The just-mentioned sentence is too long.
split off end as eating introduced weeds notable - otherwise shortish bit in beginning is split with semi-colon and I can't bust list easily. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 13:18, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • You use the word "hollow" in several places. To me this means a "shallow depression". Do you mean a hole or crevice in a tree rather than a mere depression?
Yes - in fact I just stumbled over tree hollow..it is essentially a wooden burrow. linked now Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 14:49, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The clutch is laid on a bed to wood dust or leaves ..." - "of" rather than "to"?
not sure what happened there - changed Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 21:26, 25 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "... two to five (or rarely eight)" eggs - Are there never six or seven?
tweaked Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 21:21, 25 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Egg size needs imperial equivalents.
added Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 14:55, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Eggs are laid at an interval of two to three days each." - The "each" is redundant.
removed Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 21:21, 25 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The chicks are altricial and nidicolous;" - More jargon terms unhelpful to the average reader.
now explained in the sentence immediately following Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 20:56, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • The second paragraph of Breeding needs rearranging as incubation currently comes after chick rearing. Some other sentences in this section do not unite well either.
moved sentence Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 21:21, 25 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "... silvery-white brown down" - What colour is this?
oops, stray word removed....Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 21:01, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • The last paragraph of this section has the word "nest" at the end of one sentence and the beginning of the next.
rejigged Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 21:26, 25 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • The last sentence of the Pathogens section needs a capital letter.
fixed Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 21:26, 25 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Baby birds may perish in very hot weather or heavy rain by being drowned in the hollows." - They probably don't drown in very hot weather!
oops...reworded Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 13:56, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "A yellow form, where the yellow and red pigments are conserved alone," - What does this mean?
it means the parrot has lost the blue pigment in its plumage, leaveing it yellow and red alone. clarified Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 15:34, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
That's all for now. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 10:33, 22 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I am satisfied with the changes you have made and am now supporting this candidacy on the grounds of prose and comprehensiveness. (You could wikilink or explain sedentary, nomadic, scapular and migrate with advantage). Cwmhiraeth (talk) 12:34, 1 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Dudley

  • "It was described by George Shaw in 1792, its species name Latin for "pretty"." This does not sound right grammatically to me. I do not think you need the second part about pretty in the lead.
yeah, removed Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:41, 12 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would link 'scale insect'.
linked Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:41, 12 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Italian ornithologist Tommaso Salvadori erected the new genus Neophema in 1891," Do you 'erect' a genus? Also I would say here Neophema are the grass parrots, which you imply but do not quite say below. Perhaps something like "Italian ornithologist Tommaso Salvadori gave grass parrots the genus name Neophema in 1891,"
I change to 'defined' as the genus/group of species were not recognised before this. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:58, 12 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Heading 'Conservation status'. I would leave out the sub-heading Australia as superfluous.
yeah, removed Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:59, 12 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "classified as near threatened by Garnett and Crowley in 2000.[23] Its population and range have varied wildly; widely distributed across eastern Australia from Mackay to Melbourne, it vanished from much of its range to the extent that it was presumed extinct in 1915." 'Wildly' seems to me a bit extreme - perhaps 'considerably'. Also these sentences jump around confusingly in dates. It would be helpful to say when it was widely distributed - as "up to the mid nineteenth century it was widely distributed...but it then vanished"?
the population and range variation has been described as pretty extreme for a bird, so I felt "wildly" conveys this well. I have rejigged the material into chronological order.
  • I am confused about its conservation status. In the infobox it is shown as 'least concern', but in the text as vulnerable and threatened. If this is different bodies taking different views, I think this needs explaining.
tried to clarify - Garnett and Crowley classified all Australian birds, but this was not taken up by our federal government - hence I have rewritten to state they proposed it as the Action Plan was not official policy as such. Nationally, numbers have bounced back somewhat, but I have no source that links it to the lack of national listing. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 01:45, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Clutches tended to be larger (have more eggs)" Why not "Clutches tend have more eggs"? Why the past tense 'tended'?
tweaked Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:58, 12 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is it known whether they pair for life or choose a new mate each year?
just trawled through the material - can't find this mentioned anywhere (!) - I suspect something like the former but can't confirm. The parrot's biology is only moderately known... Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 13:44, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • A first rate article. These quibbles are all minor. Dudley Miles (talk) 12:07, 12 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support.

  • One final point. "One of six species of grass parrot in the genus Neophema, it is most closely related to the scarlet-chested parrot." Does this mean that Neophema is the genus name for grass parrots or are there grass parrots in other genuses? Dudley Miles (talk) 16:56, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
not sure whether it's the pet trade or what but there seem to be some nebulous terms such as "parakeet" that get applied here and there. The group are called grass parrots, so it is sort of that Neophema=grass parrot, however one has been moved to a different genus and I wonder if the name has been applied to the budgie at some point as well (it is a simlar size but only distantly related). Will check a bit later today Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 22:00, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Closing comment -- Cas, I did find the opening sentence a bit of a mouthful so it might benefit from splitting, but won't hold up promotion on that account. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 02:06, 18 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Ian - I trimmed a bit - as it is a bit redundant to say it is both a parrot and a bird. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 01:19, 20 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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