Wikipedia

Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Tropical Storm Hanna (2002)

< Wikipedia:Featured article candidates
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by User:SandyGeorgia 23:07, 25 October 2008 [1].

Tropical Storm Hanna (2002) edit

Nominator(s): User:Juliancolton


I'm nominating this article for featured article because I'm going to beat Julian. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 17:47, 3 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

LOL! That was definitely a "WTF" moment when I was edit conflicted. :P –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 17:49, 3 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • (yawn) Images all boring free stuff made by government employees with proper tagging/licenses, and pass criteria. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 18:04, 3 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments:
    • First sentence, second paragraph of Meteorogical history: "The cyclone was a disorganized, and contained..."
    • Second sentence, same paragraph: "...later that day the cyclone was nearing tropical storm status, though remained a depression..."
    • Third sentence, same paragraph: Can you elaborate on why "it was upgraded to Tropical Storm Hanna at 0600 UTC."?
    • Last sentence of same paragraph: "A last burst of strengthening..." Change to "last burst of strength"?
    • I LOLd when I read the nomination. :) Intothewoods29 (talk) 21:11, 3 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • You're Welcome. Here's some more. :)
    • Fifth sentence, same paragraph: "Subsequent to a jog to the northwest..." I'm not sure of the correct hurricane lingo, but would it be better to say something to the effect of "Before it moved to the northwest..."? Also, in the previous sentence, you say it's moving southwestward, and then immediately you say it's moving northwestward. Is a transition needed, or am I just misreading it. :)
      • A "jog" is the correct term, but if you think it's too jargony, I'll change it. Also, the storm was moving southwestward, until it made a sharp turn to the northwest. :-) I'll explain that further if needed. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 21:48, 3 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Fourth sentence of Preparations section: can you explain why the warnings discontinued when the storm began to move inland?
    • Seventh sentence, same paragraph: Is there any reason Dauphin Island merits mentioning, as opposed to other areas? Would it be appropriate to put something like "Islands in the Gulf were affected; for example, Dauphin Island..."?
      • Dauphin Island was the only location mentioned in the source, and I try to stick with what the source says, rather than speculate that people on other islands boarded up windows. 21:48, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

Again, I'm no expert. Intothewoods29 (talk) 21:34, 3 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Quick comments from Giggy.

  • "and an upper-level low" - don't force me to click the link to find out what an upper-level low is. This phrase is repeated a few times so please do clarify.
  • "was to the east of the center" - center of what?
  • "and thus the NHC" - the what?
    • Oh, you nane and link it later one. Get the order right.
  • "designated it Tropical Depression Nine" - no idea what this means

Giggy (talk) 04:52, 4 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose Reluctant withdrawal of oppose. Next time not underprepared like this, please: it robs other nominations of reviewing resources. And I shouldn't STILL be able to find easy pickings like ... can a business "receive" water damage? And "northwest–northeast-oriented feeder band"—can't you remove "-oriented" from this prickly gobbledy? Portions of the state --> parts of the state? Why is "drought" linked? Same for "cotton" and "peanut"? Not happy. Tony (talk) 14:57, 21 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • "On Dauphin Island, Alabama, however, the storm caused coastal flooding which closed roads, and forced the evacuation of residents." Who ever said not to put "however" first. It improves the clunky structure of the sentence. Comma usage needs a thorough audit. "However, on Dauphin Island, Alabama, the storm caused coastal flooding which closed roads and forced the evacuation of residents.
  • Bad spelling error in the lead: have you run a spellchecker through it?
  • Space missing after period.
  • 20,000 people lost power; then lower down, it's 20,000 power outages. All single-person households? This is very naughty. Please fix it.

I do hope it's not all as sloppy as this. It requires careful work. At least it's not as puny as that "Cyclone Erik" debacle, where a short piece on a boring little storm was put up as an example of our best work. Sorry to be rude; it's saveable. Tony (talk) 05:36, 4 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, I fixed up the lead, and to be safe, I'll try to recruit a copyeditor for the rest of the article. Thanks for the comments, –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 15:27, 4 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Otherwise sources look fine, links couldn't be checked with the link checker tool, it's down. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:17, 4 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed the first point. That site is simply an archive of various newsletters, and as I couldn't find that marine newsletter elsewhere, I figured it was good enough. Let me know if you still believe it's unreliable, and I'll remove that bit of information, seeing as it doesn't add much. Thanks for the comments. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 15:31, 4 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I'd call it non-reliable, and would cut it. It might be, but better safe than sorry, if the information isnt critical. Ealdgyth - Talk 17:07, 4 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Ok, I removed the source and its associated bit of information. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 01:33, 5 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments I'd be willing to copyedit, and have started. I'll note changes I'm uncertain about here.

  • Is "throughout its life" standard terminology? The wording certainly surprised me. I would have expected something like "thoguhout its duration".
  • "east of the center of circulation" - What's a center of circulation?
  • 20,000 costumers lost power? Is that supposed to be "consumers"?
  • "As such, it was named Hanna" - Why is "Hanna" in italics?
  • "A burst of strengthening brought Hanna to its peak intensity" - What exactly caused this burst?
  • There's an enormous amount of overlinking. I'll try to fix all of it, but you should look it over.

Nousernamesleft (talk) 15:37, 4 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

    • The copyediting is finished. Nousernamesleft (talk) 16:27, 4 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
      • Thanks for the copyedit and the comments. I fixed most of the above. As for your third point, the sources call them "costumers", so that's the word I went with. I'll change it if necessary, though. I'll look for an explanation as to why is strengthened in a last burst, but all of the current sources seem to lack such information. Cheers, –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 16:31, 4 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment - Can you find links for sources 8, 9, 15, 16, and 19? Plasticup T/C 17:30, 5 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
30 seconds of searching and I found two links for reference number 9. Even though you may not have found the sources online you should at least try to find web-based copies. Plasticup T/C 20:40, 5 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I found links for two of those newspaper articles. The others lack web-based copies. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 20:49, 5 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Revisit—Spot check in the middle (a single paragraph):

  • "peak gusts were clocked at 68 mph (109 km/h)"—were they timed? "recorded" (I've fixed that one.)
  • Are winds "enhanced" by thunderstorms? Perhaps "and".
  • "Knocked down trees and power lines"—"brought down" might be more idiomatic.
  • "Three people drowned in high surf; one near Pensacola Beach, one at Seagrove Beach[1] and another at Panama City Beach." Should that be a colon? And in any case, it's laboured: "Three people drowned in high surf, near Pensacola Beach, at Seagrove Beach[1], and at Panama City Beach."
  • "Heavy rainfall fell"—jingle; why not "Heavy rain fell"?
  • "River flooding occurred"—clunky. So why not: "As a result, rivers in the region, county roads and homes in Perry, and streets in the Tallahassee region were flooded." "Several" is vague; it does tell that "not numerous", but begs the question as to about how many you're referring to.Tony (talk) 15:41, 7 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Are we back to omittig full publication dates again? Readers going to a library to locate an article will have better luck with a full date, and locating something in the future if links go dead is easier when a full date is given. Also, unclear why some publishers are listed as publishers, some as author. Four editors have raised copyediting issues, raising concern if the article was prepared for FAC. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 20:49, 8 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • I'll work on the references once I get on a real computer (on a mobile device). Hurricanehink passed the article for GA after a thorough review, so at the time, it seemed the article was ready for FAC. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 20:59, 8 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
      • Ok, done adding publication dates and adjusting the author/publisher bit. Thanks for the reminder; I can never seem to get the references right, unfortunately. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 21:37, 8 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment, I'm not that good with grammar, just to let you know:..."The total damage caused by Tropical Storm Hanna summed to about $20 million (2002 USD; $23 million 2008 USD)"...but summed sounds awkward. Wouldn't it be easier to say amounted or something along those line? RockManQ (talk) 03:06, 9 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Convection shifted towards the eastern semi-circle of the circulation as the still-exposed center became malformed and elongated"... Awkward and confusing. RockManQ (talk) 03:13, 9 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support as another glance at the prose doesn't bring anything of concern up. Giggy (talk) 01:56, 13 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support; article prose seems to be much improved. RockManQ (talk) 01:08, 14 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support, but with comments:
  • Is the cost of damage in 2008 dollars necessary? It might seem relevant this year, but will be continuously adjusted for inflation in the coming years?
  • Units in the text (except conversions in parenthesis) should be spelled out, per MoS. For example, 1 inch (2.54 cm). JonCatalán(Talk) 17:06, 24 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/Tropical_Storm_Hanna_(2002)&oldid=1138474271"