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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Treehouse of Horror V/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 14:59, 22 March 2008.

Treehouse of Horror V

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I am nominating this article as I believe I've done all I can to improve it and gain feedback on it. Through the help of several of WP:SIMPSONS, including User:Cirt and User:Gran2, I was able exspand many areas and I hope that this article will be promoted to featured status. Thank you. Buc (talk) 17:38, 17 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • Oppose - Mainly due to the production section. It's basically a very large proselist. Equazcion •✗/C • 17:47, 17 Mar 2008 (UTC)
    • A very large what? Buc (talk) 17:57, 17 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
      • A proselist: A list of disjointed facts thrown together in prose (paragraph form). Equazcion •✗/C • 17:58, 17 Mar 2008 (UTC)
        • Ok well if you can tell where the problem is I can work on fixing it. Buc (talk) 18:00, 17 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
From the production section:

: ''"Matt Groening originally pitched the idea that Homer would travel through time in ''Time and Punishment'', by jamming his hand in the toaster, but the other writers rejected it.<ref name="Groening"/> The scenes where Homer is in the past were written so that he is there for the time it takes for a piece of bread to be toasted.<ref name="Mirkin"/> When Homer is first traveling through time, he originally stated "I'm the first non-[[fictional]] character to travel backwards through time".<ref name="Cohen"/> Groening was confused as to why the line was changed to "non-Brazilian" because he liked the original so much, and not understand what the new line meant.<ref name="Groening"/> [[Peabody and Sherman]] were added in due to the show ''[[Rocky and His Friends]]'' being a major influence on ''The Simpsons''. The scene where the family's house is being moved was originally slightly longer.<ref name="DVD"/> Reardon said that the [[storyboard]] for the scene where Flanders talks on a big screen, was "of ''[[War and Peace]]'' length".<ref name="Reardon">{{cite video | people=Reardon, Jim|year=2005|title=The Simpsons The Complete Sixth Season DVD commentary for the episode "Treehouse of Horror V"| medium=DVD||publisher=20th Century Fox}}</ref>"''

Featured article candidates are supposed to contain brilliant prose. This could pretty much have been a bulleted list. Most of the production section reads like this. The sentences of a given paragraph should all work towards demonstrating a singular point. This looks like a trivia section that someone removed the bullets from. Equazcion •✗/C • 18:10, 17 Mar 2008 (UTC)
Fixed Buc (talk) 14:02, 19 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
All the links checked out fine with the link checking tool. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Ealdgyth (talk • contribs)
  • Oppose
  • The film is cuts off,
    • What's your piont?
      • The spelling error
  • mansion in the mountains to apply as caretakers - apply for jobs as caretakers?
  • he cut off the television and beer supply, who cut it off? confusing
    • Mr Burns, it says that.
      • The text is not clear on who says it
        • It says "Mr. Burns cut off the television and beer supply"
          • Because it was fixed after i said it
  • with an an axe
  • him in the back with his axe, as soon as he arrives.
    • I think that's ok.
      • It's redundant
        • How?
          • Bob and Bill entered the recording studio to start production on the album, as soon as they arrived at the recording studio- same concept here, he HAS to arrive to be hit with an axe thus making it redundant, I edited this page, as soon as i arrived in edit mode
  • The whole family sit in the snow to watch with him and eventually freeze., "watch with him"?
    • Err..yeah why?
      • It's poorly written
        • How?
          • It's awkwardly worded, The whole family sit in the snow to watch with himnext to him and eventually freeze.
  • He then kills a mosquito
    • Again I think that's ok
      • Redundant
        • How?
          • I then added another edit to this post. I then went to get something to eat after.
  • before returning to the present. In the present - redundant
    • What is
      • Return to the present, then IN the present - same thing, He's in the present, you've told the reader twice
  • Homer eventually arrives
  • David Mirkin tried to put "as much blood and guts" - no need for quotes
    • It's a direct quotes so it's is needed.
      • It doesn't need to be a quote, you can write out the same thing without a quote
        • "It doesn't need to be a quote" Huh? It is a quote, it's not a matter of choice.
          • It doesn't need to be a quote, for example - The band "enjoyed the recording process" - the quotes can be removed to be just - The band enjoyed the recording process, no is no need for a quote here
  • was also in reaction to this. Mirkin also, redundant also
  • One sentence paragraphs
    • I've fixed what I can understand. But some I don't know what your getting at. Buc (talk) 14:12, 19 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Poorly written throughout, it's basically a list of information combined into a paragraph with no flow between the sections. Example, Homer is yellow. Marge has blue hair. Her hair is tall. Together they have three kids. etc etc M3tal H3ad (talk) 03:28, 18 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • Oppose The sections are way to short.
    • Which one
  • The are alot of prose issues and one sentance paragraphs. I think this probably needs a rewrite. —Burningclean [Speak the truth!] 07:10, 18 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment Isn't the name of the short "The Shinning"? indopug (talk) 08:00, 18 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose Referencing concerns:
    • “The Envelope” reference is a “dead” link (i.e. returns “No records matching your search criteria were found”). Publisher is also incorrect (should be LA Times).
      • Changed link.
    • http://www.noisetosignal.org/about/ – this is a blog.
    • http://www.tvsquad.com – this is a blog
      • Added these facts in. Buc (talk) 14:07, 19 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • http://media.www.thequindecim.com – a college newspaper; is this reliable? ЭLСОВВОLД talk 17:42, 18 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
      • The text addmitts it a college newspaper. Buc (talk) 13:29, 19 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
        • Identification of the source type(s) in the article prose does not address the concerns. How are these sources reliable, as defined in WP:V and WP:RS? Why are the opinions of two bloggers and a college newspaper staff notable? Anyone can compile a “personal favorites” or “top 10” list (see WP:SPS); why do these peoples’ opinions matter; what makes them authoritative and/or experts? ЭLСОВВОLД talk 15:03, 19 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose right now

  • " sixth season, it premiered" - Should that be a full stop?
  • Production section has lots of really short paragraphs.
  • "Time and Punishment" or "Time and punishment"?
    • It's the former -that's the title of the segment- but I think it should be in quotes, rather than italics. Zagalejo^^^ 18:42, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "They also wrote scenes where Homer is in the past were written so that he is there for the time it takes for a piece of bread to be toasted." this sentence does not make any sense (to me, at least).
  • " Although a book from this scene was use was use in this segment." again, this doesn't make any sense.

Some rework required, particularly with the non-sensical sentences noted above. The Rambling Man (talk) 18:06, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Withdrawn see Peer review Buc (talk) 11:55, 22 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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