Wikipedia

Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Tom Eastick/archive1

< Wikipedia:Featured article candidates
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 31 March 2022 [1].

Tom Eastick edit

Nominator(s): Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:23, 1 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Tom Eastick was a part-time Militia officer in the interwar period who commanded an Australian artillery regiment at the Battles of El Alamein in 1942 then commanded the artillery of Australian divisions in New Guinea and then Borneo in 1943–1945. He took the Japanese surrender in Sarawak, and was military governor there after the war ended. He was prominent in ex-service organisations in South Australia, and was knighted in 1970 for his volunteer work. This one has been recently expanded and went through GAN in December last year and just cleared Milhist ACR. Have at it! Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:23, 1 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

  • Image review—pass per ACR (t · c) buidhe 06:27, 1 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks buidhe! Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:58, 1 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Support from Gog the Mild edit

  • Infobox: it seems odd to give his allegiance as Australian and then immediately restate it against service/branch.
Piped. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 10:27, 6 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "He was appointed as the commander of the 50th Battery of the brigade in 1924." Optional: a note indicating how many batteries the brigade had would be useful.
Four, added. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 10:27, 6 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "his promotion to lieutenant colonel in the Militia was made substantive". Link to substantive rank.
Done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 10:27, 6 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "24 Ordnance QF 25-pounder guns." Consider adding 'more modern' or similar.
added. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 10:27, 6 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Er, and that is all I can find to pick at. Sterling work. Gog the Mild (talk) 21:25, 3 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Cheers Gog, all done I reckon. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 10:27, 6 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Source review edit

Spotchecks not done. Version reviewed

Any suggestions, Nikkimaria? I couldn't find one that seemed designed for a public missive of this type. It is like an open letter or charter or something. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 10:46, 6 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
{{cite press release}}? Nikkimaria (talk) 13:43, 6 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Sure, done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:59, 21 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Rungie: Worldcat gives a different publisher, can you verify?
I think the Worldcat entry is incomplete. This is the catalogue entry of the National Library of Australia for the book. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 10:46, 6 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
That entry gives a different location and two publishers - was there a reason to select the one listed here? Nikkimaria (talk) 13:43, 6 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
G'day Nikkimaria. Well, all I can tell you is the copy I looked at had Hawthorndene as the location, and Investigator Press as the publisher. The NLA catalogue entry has [Adelaide] and I am not sure what the square brackets mean, perhaps "Greater Adelaide" (Hawthorndene is an outer suburb). As far as the Royal Artillery Association of South Australia is concerned, it isn't clear to me whether they are a publisher or a contributor or both. It didn't seem correct to use the "via" field, but if you have any suggestions how to incorporate two publishers I'm happy to add them to it. Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 08:22, 21 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Does that organization appear on your copy in any capacity? Nikkimaria (talk) 11:51, 21 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
As far as I can remember (I don't have it to hand), it wasn't credited as publisher, only Investigator Press was. It did mention the organisation on the front pages, but it wasn't clear what role they played. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:38, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Hm. Okay, without seeing the source, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to help on that one. Nikkimaria (talk) 03:18, 23 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
OK Nikkimaria, I went back to look at the copy held by the state library, and I clearly didn't take very good notes when I first looked at it. The title page credits Brook as the editor, and has Investigator Press Pty Ltd below that. No mention on that page of the Royal Artillery Association of South Australia. But the imprint page says "First published in 1986 by the Royal Artillery Association of South Australia", and "Copyright (c) Royal Artillery Association of South Australia & David Brook", then "Wholly set up and produced in South Australia by Investigator Press Pty Ltd Hawthorndene South Australia 5051". So, I guess that means "Royal Artillery Association of South Australia & David Brook" should be entered against the publisher field, Brook remains editor. But what if anything do I do about Investigator Press? Perhaps they just set it up and printed it? Appreciate your advice. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 08:04, 25 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Based on that description I'd think that they are the printer, and the Association should be entered as publisher. Nikkimaria (talk) 12:19, 25 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Done, thanks for your patience. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 01:01, 30 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • How are you deciding when to include retrieval date? Nikkimaria (talk) 19:45, 5 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Are there particular source(s) you are querying? Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 10:46, 6 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Under Gazettes one includes and the rest do not. Nikkimaria (talk) 13:43, 6 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Ah, fixed. I think I've addressed all these points now, Nikkimaria, although I have a query about Rungie. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 10:01, 21 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comments from JennyOz edit

Placeholder, back soon. JennyOz (talk) 17:49, 16 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hi PM, another fine bio. Only a few comments and questions...

  • Add auseng template
Done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:23, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • ibox 13th Field Brigade - wlink?
Done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:23, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • ibox Returned Sailors’, Soldiers’ and Airmen's - 1st 2 apostrophes are curly
Whoops. Fixed. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:23, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Much better, done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:23, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • He worked for a hardware company, - the hardware company (and remove comma after company) seeing name is known?
Done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:23, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Done, good spot. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:23, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • training with World War I vintage - needs hyphen but as a MOS:SUFFIXDASH ie World War I–vintage?
of course, done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:23, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Initially deployed to a staging area at Ikingi Maryut,[1][8] and in late May it moved forward into defensive positions at Mersa Matruh. - needs something added, or drop the "and"?
the latter, done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:34, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • In early October Eastick was advised that his regiment was to be withdrawn to rejoin the 9th Division,[14] which had been withdrawn from Tobruk - 2 x withdrawn - "to be withdrawn " can go?
Yes, done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:34, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • pushing forward as far forward as - one "forward" can go?
Again, done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:34, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • the 9th Division, including the 2/7th Field Regiment, returned to Australia - wlink Operation Pamphlet?
Done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:34, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • The 9th Division was at that time reforming - re-forming as in being created again?
Yes, whoops. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:34, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • the liberation of the Philippines - wlink?
Done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:34, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • was broken up into two primary operations - remove "up"?
Done, replaced with "split". Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:34, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • By 14 September 858 POWs and internees had been evacuated.[26] By the end of October, 6,124 Japanese troops - inconsistent comma use after months
Added in the missing first one. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:34, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • sub-branch of the Returned Sailors’, Soldiers’ and Airmen's - 2 curlies
Fixed. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:34, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • In 1953, Eastick was profiled - Also in 1953 or That same year
Good point. Fixed. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:34, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • References websites accessdate x2 - add hyphens
Done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:34, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

That's it from me. Thanks, JennyOz (talk) 21:50, 19 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks as always Jenny! I always really appreciate it when you look on my work! Regards, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:34, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
G'day Jenny, anything else that needs to be addressed? Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 01:03, 30 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Hi PM, sorry for delay, having dastardly connection problems. I am happy to sign my support. SA sure produces some very fine defence personnel! Thanks for telling his story. JennyOz (talk) 18:20, 30 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Mike Christie edit

  • I see a couple of chapters in the references (Long and Maughan); you might add the page range to the citation.
Done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 10:27, 25 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "born on 3 May 1900 at Hyde Park": is this Australian usage? In British English one would say "in Hyde Park".
Yes, it is what the Australian Dictionary of Biography uses. See the web link at the bottom under Websites. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:06, 25 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the Leader of the Opposition from 1972 to 1975": I took this to refer to the national assembly until I followed the link; I think it should be clearer that this just refers to South Australia.
Done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:06, 25 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "a Royal Australian Air Force pilot adjusted the fire of Eastick's battery during field firing": I don't understand this.
I've added a link that might help. Is that enough? Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:06, 25 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
That does help. I assume in military sources "adjusted the fire" would be clear to most readers, so we can let this go, but if there's an alternative way to phrase this that uses the term "artillery spotter" or something like it, I think that might be better-known to other non-military readers. Though my only evidence for that is that it's better-known to me. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:21, 25 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Initially deployed to a staging area at Ikingi Maryut, and in late May it moved forward into defensive positions at Mersa Matruh." There's no noun in this sentence for "it" to refer to.
Doh. Fixed. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:06, 25 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "pushing forward as far forward".
Also picked up by Jenny above, and fixed. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:06, 25 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "in recognition of the level of efficiency reached by the regiment under Eastick's command" and "which recognised the high level of efficiency reached by the 2/7th Field Regiment under Eastick's command" are in consecutive paragraphs; I understand this isn't easy to rephrase but it wouldn't hurt to try to vary it a bit more.
I think the point doesn't need to be made twice, deleted second instance. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 10:31, 25 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Eastick then administered command of the 9th Division": can "administered command" be shortened to just "commanded"? If not I don't understand the distinction.
It means that he was responsible for the administration of the division, but he was not formally appointed as its commander. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 10:43, 25 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
OK -- clearly this is correctly phrased. If there's a link to army command structures or organization that discusses the role, that would be good, but if not, no problem. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:21, 25 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

All minor points; this is in excellent shape, as usual. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:28, 17 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for taking a look, Mike. See what you think of my responses. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 10:43, 25 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Support. There are a couple of unstruck comments above but they're not really issues with the article, more indications of my lack of familiarity with military terminology, and I'm fine if they don't lead to further edits. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:21, 25 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Mike. No article exists that explains admin command, AFAIK. It is military jargon, so maybe it should be added to the glossary. I'll see if I can find a pithy short meaning of the term and add it. Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 23:32, 30 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@WP:FAC coordinators: , this looks GTG. Can I have a dispensation for a fresh nom please? Thanks, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 23:32, 30 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Sure, go ahead. (t · c) buidhe 23:38, 30 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Cheers! Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 02:00, 31 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Support by Pendright edit

I reviewed this at A-Class and here again at FAC. The few comments that follow are optional. Pendright (talk) 21:53, 31 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Early life:

  • This led to him co-founding a small engineering business, Angas Engineering Co. (Pty Ltd) at premises in Moore Street, Adelaide,[1][4] with a mechanic friend.
"on" Moore Street

Service in the Middle East:

  • On 15 December, Eastick was mentioned in despatches for "gallant and distinguished services in the Middle East during the period November 1941 to April 1942",[15] which recognised the high level of efficiency reached by the 2/7th Field Regiment under Eastick's command.[1]
Could add "of" between period & November

Service in the Pacific:

  • He died there on 16 December 1988 and was cremated.[1]
Could add his age at time of death?

Supporting- Pendright (talk) 21:53, 31 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/Tom_Eastick/archive1&oldid=1080388363"