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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Singin' and Swingin' and Gettin' Merry Like Christmas/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by SandyGeorgia 14:32, 27 April 2010 [1].

Singin' and Swingin' and Gettin' Merry Like Christmas edit

Singin' and Swingin' and Gettin' Merry Like Christmas (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

Nominator(s): Christine (talk) 15:44, 7 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
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I am nominating this for featured article because I believe that it fulfills all the criteria for an FA. It has gone through a successful GAC and has been peer reviewed by a competent editor, User:Finetooth. This nomination is part of my on-going attempt at improving all Maya Angelou-related articles. I would appreciate any and all feedback to improve this article. My only concern is with the images; I've struggled with finding appropriate ones to add and would like additional input. Thanks. --Christine (talk) 15:44, 7 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

  • Comments. No dab links or dead external links. Ucucha 15:57, 7 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments: This is the first time I've seen so many literary-related articles listed simultaneously at FAC (five!); too cool. :) I'm not familiar with this particular work, although I've read I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings several times. Overall, the article appears to be in pretty good shape, although I'm concerned about the prose in places. The images do not bother me, and in fact I would advise to not push it too much; the images should be integrally related to the subject, and not simply filler. More importantly, I'm afraid a copy-edit or two may be in order. Here are some specific comments for improvement:
Thanks, Maria; that is cool. It certainly wasn't planned; I've been intending to nominate this article for several weeks, but wanted to wait until I got other things out of the way first and could devote time to another FAC. Thanks for bringing in User:Scartol for a much-needed ce of my weak prose. --Christine (talk) 22:27, 9 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • The lead is somewhat wordy and repetitive. The word "autobiography" is used four times in the first paragraph, but this part in particular is troublesome: "...had expanded her life story into a third autobiography. The autobiography, which includes..."
  • ...covers most of Angelou's twenties... -- it is already stated in a previous sentence that the book "chronicles her early twenties (1949–1955)".
  • Scholar Dolly McPherson has called this book... -- is the present perfect tense correct here? I'm not a fan of its usage when it comes to critical thought, and an almost exact sentence follows it: "Critic Lyman B. Hagen has called the book..."
Would you mind explaining what you mean by this? Are you not a fan of the present perfect tense when it comes to critical thought, or saying that these critics "called" the book something? --Christine (talk) 04:22, 11 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • The book has roots... which take up 40 percent of the book -- repetition.
  • McPherson calls the book... -- McPherson's opinion here is stated in present tense, but the "Critical reception" uses almost all past tense; if this is meant to summarize the crit. recep. per WP:LEAD, I believe it should be consistent.
Looks like other than my question above, Scartol has dealt with Maria's issues regarding the lead. Thanks, pal! --Christine (talk) 04:24, 11 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • The publication of Singin' and Swingin' and Gettin' Merry Like Christmas in 1976 marked the first time a well-known African American woman writer had expanded her life story into a third autobiography. Aside from naming the book, this sentence appears in its entirely in the lead section. Could it be paraphrased a bit more to cut down on the repetition? "When published in 1976, Singin', etc., became the first time..." or something similar?
Done. --Christine (talk) 04:29, 11 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • stated that Angelou's autobiographies set a precedent not only for other black women writers, but for the genre of autobiography as a whole. Through the writing of her autobiographies... -- I know it's difficult to vary such an important, descriptive term, but something needs to be done here.
Between Scartol and I, the issues with the Background section seems to be addressed. --Christine (talk) 04:58, 11 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Hagen responds to this criticism by stating that... -- Not only is this in the present tense, while the rest of the paragraph is in past, but I had to scroll up to remind myself who Hagen is. Could be be reintroduced here, since the lead is truly separate from the rest of the article?
I always learn something new in FAC. Didn't know that the lead is supposed to be separate. Fixed, as is the tense problems in this section. --Christine (talk) 03:30, 13 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Critic Mary Jane Lupton insists that the title of this autobiography... -- This paragraph marks another change in tense, this time entirely to present tense. Consistency?
  • In the plot, is there a reason why Maya is referred to as such, and not "Marguerite", before it is noted that she changes her name? In Clyde/Guy's case, he is referred to as Clyde until it is said he changes his name, after which the summary refers to him as "Guy".
Referring to the main character as "Maya" was an editorial decision, to be honest. She's called all kinds of names in this book, and "Maya" is one of them. The difference between her name change and Guy's is that up until his announcement, he was called "Clyde", and some people were already calling her Maya. That was followed in this summary, I think. (It's kind of like with me: until I was a teenager, I was called "Chris" (by my family), and then others called me Christy, Chrissy (although if you do that today, you die), and Christine, which is finally what I went with.) --Christine (talk) 03:54, 13 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Although she has expressed some concern that she may overuse it, one of the literary techniques she uses is repetition. -- "it" is ambiguous until it is explained further in the sentence; perhaps reword as "Despite expressing some concern as to the story's repetition, it is one of the literary techniques..."?
My version: Despite expressing some concern that she overuses it, repetition is one of the literary techniques Angelou uses. See, it's not the story that repetitious; it's the themes that show up over and over again in this book and her previous ones, like the mother leaving her child with his/her grandmother. I'm not sure I like my "solution", though, so if someone has a better idea... --Christine (talk) 04:05, 13 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Travel and movement is a common theme in American autobiography, so important to Americans as a people that they have accorded it the status of a national myth. -- Speaking of repetition... "American" and "Americans" here is difficult to get around. :) How about, "Travel and movement are common themes in autobiographical works from the United States in that Americans have accorded it the status..." It can also be broken into two separate, but related, thoughts by replacing "in that" with a semi-colon and somewhat expanding on the slave narrative angle.
  • Lupton states that Angelou's travel narrative, which takes up approximately 40 percent of the book... -- This is the third or fourth time that I've read this fact. I think it's definitely pertinent here, but you may want to remove it from the plot summary so it doesn't become old hat by the time the reader gets this far in the article.
I agree, which is why I deleted it from the summary. --Christine (talk) 04:11, 13 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Music is throughout Angelou's third autobiography... -- "prevalent throughout"? "present throughout"?
  • The "Race" section begins a trend in which "white" and "black" become "White" and "Black". Earlier the phrase "a black American" is used, but it becomes "White world" and "fellow Black cast" here. Can we have consistency?
  • The book is full of conflicts: the conflict in Angelou's marriage, the conflict she feels between being a good mother and a successful performer, the conflict between... -- Sorry, what is this section devoted to? I can't remember. :)
Heh. This was me, hitting you over the head: THIS IS ABOUT CONFLICT! Please excuse me; I know full well that you're a lot smarter than that. ;) --Christine (talk) 04:18, 13 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • The "Critical reception" section seems skimpy, especially in comparison to the rest of the article. Is this all that is available? Was there really only one negative review? Can anything be said further about the book's legacy/impact, other than the fact that it was the first time an Af. Am. wrote a third autobiography?
Perhaps this will be addressed after dealing with some of Scartol's issues and after tackling his suggestions about changing some of the format of this article. It is pretty skimpy here, but I did include everything I was able to find. Perhaps we can go into more of Angelou's general legacy, which will come from her bio and the Caged Bird article. Let me work on this some. --Christine (talk) 04:25, 13 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

In short, this is a very interesting article, but I think a serious copy-edit is needed, especially in order to cull some of the repetitious phrasings and to ensure that the tenses are presented consistently (or something closer to it) throughout. I'm also a slightly concerned about the "Critical reception" section, as stated above, but if that's all that is available, so be it. I'll be happy to support or offer further review if these concerns are addressed. María (habla conmigo) 14:17, 8 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, Maria. I think that Scartol's ce has helped improve things greatly here. Notice that I didn't comment on the stuff he fixed. I think that the repetition has been significantly culled, as per your request. I'll tackle Scar's issues now. --Christine (talk) 04:29, 13 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Support. Comment I'm doing some copyedit cleanup. Will report back when I'm done. Scartol • Tok 19:11, 9 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, I've done a thorough copyedit, so hopefully the prose is in better shape. I think the research is solid, and although this article feels much more slender than I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, that makes sense (since it's a much less prominent text). This article is very close to being FA quality; I'm nearly ready to support, but I'd like to see the Repetition/Style matter (described below) sorted first.
Thanks, Scar. I think the prose is much improved now. I also think that your ce has gone far in addressing the repetition issue, and I think that your suggestions about changing the structure are spot-on. I agree that this article is MUCH slimmer than the Caged Bird article, but that' because yes, this book is less prominent and there is less written about it. If you look at Gather Together in My Name, Angelou's second autobiography, it's a Good Article, and like Blue's Clues, I don't think it has the potential to become any more than that, because it's even less prominent than Swingin' and Swingin' , and not as strong of a book as Angelou's first and third volumes. (How's that for weak prose with the run-on sentence!) --Christine (talk) 04:48, 13 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Here are some questions and comments. I hope they're not too burdensome!
Never! You always give good feedback.
  • I'd like a single sentence or phrase in the lead explaining why she changed her name.
Um, dude, it's already there, in the final sentence of the lead. Did you or Maria add it, or was that mine? This old lady can't remember! ;) --Christine (talk) 04:52, 13 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Um, dude.. It says that she changed her name, but it doesn't say why. Unless I'm misreading it? Scartol • Tok 18:58, 13 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Oh sweetie, I'm sorry! Duh, now I see what the heck you mean! I added the phrase, "for professional reasons". (Now I totally feel like my husband the first season of Lost: "Did Hurley just call her a dude? ;) --Christine (talk) 04:06, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • I took "repetition" out of the list of themes in the lead, since it's more of a style matter from where I stand. Should there be a "Style" section? (I expect much of it would be repetitious (ha!) compared to Caged Bird, but essential nevertheless.) If you do create a style section, I would move the repetition section into it. Alternately, it seems like we could move much of the information in the "Repetition" subsection of "Themes" into the "Motherhood" subsection, which would also remedy the single-paragraph dilemma.
I was all ready to disagree with you about the "Repetition" section, but once I added the "Style and genre" section, I agree with you now. A lot of what I added I brought over from the Caged Bird article, with appropriate revisions. Then I realized that the repetition that Angelou uses (i.e., leaving Guy with her mother just as her mother left Angelou and her brother with their grandmother) really is a stylistic distinction. I still disagree about the "Motherhood" section, since that theme is important throughout all her books. There can be a case for too much repetition, but I think it has a different focus. I solved the single paragraph dilemma by separating it into two; my paragraphs tend to be on the long side, anyway. What do you think about how I've addressed your issues? --Christine (talk) 06:10, 13 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Yeah, looks good. The rest of my concerns are minor; I'm ready to Support. Scartol • Tok 19:00, 13 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • This bit feels like it belongs in "Reception": At least one reviewer expressed disappointment that Angelou did not use her status to effect any political change in Singin' and Swingin'. Hagen responds to this criticism by stating that Angelou's status during the events she describes in this autobiography did not lend itself to that kind of advocacy, and that as a person, Angelou had not evolved into the advocacy that would occur later in her life.
Done. Doing this takes care of your problem with the single paragraph in the "Reception" section as well. --Christine (talk) 05:46, 14 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Singin' and Swingin' opens after Angelou's previous autobiography, Gather Together in My Name. Does it open several months after the events at the end of that earlier book? Or after its publication? I'd like to see this be a bit more precise.
The book doesn't really make this clear, but the assumption is that it's fairly soon after Gather Together ends, but it's never stated outright whether that's a week or a couple of years. So I added the word "shortly" to make the ambiguity less ambiguous. --Christine (talk) 04:12, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • As scholar Dolly McPherson states, "When one encounters Maya Angelou in her story... This quote feels jammed into the paragraph. Might it be better positioned in the "Reception" section? Or, if you create a "Style" section, put it there?
With all due respect, I vote to keep the quote as is. It introduces the Maya-character, something that should be in a plot summary, doncha think? --Christine (talk) 04:16, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
That's fine.. Maybe add a phrase about: "As in her previous works, Angelou writes about the full range of her own experiences"? That's off the top of my head, surely you can word it better.. Something to introduce the quote a bit? Scartol • Tok 12:30, 18 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Okay. Changed the wording a bit, to avoid two sentences in a row starting with the word "as": Angelou writes in this book, like her previous works, about the full range of her own experiences. --Christine (talk) 04:08, 20 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • she is also bothered by her friends' reaction to her interracial marriage. (I adjusted the wording a bit.) I assume these are negative reactions? (If so, I'd like to add "negative".)
Done, and thanks. --Christine (talk) 04:18, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • but Tosh tells her that Annie has died. Given the arguments, etc between the two of them, perhaps we should use "informs" instead of "tells", assuming that's accurate?
Good idea. Done. --Christine (talk) 04:23, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • I wonder if we should wikilink the sad lovers in the section about Verona?
Another good idea, one that I never thought of. Thanks again. --Christine (talk) 04:26, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Does Guy/Clyde give a reason for changing his name? Is it connected to Maya's name change?
That's never made clear in the book. It's as if he work one day, and announced, "I'm Guy now." I think it's another parallel/repetition, so no critic supports me in that. I don't think it's as connected as you'd think, though, since the two name changes occurred years apart. I think it was a young man identity thing, which, in another parallel, is one of the reasons she changes her name. Guy really was a remarkable young man, something that's made clear in her later books, especially The Heart of a Woman. (Improving that article is next on my agenda, btw.) --Christine (talk) 04:31, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • she accepts an engagement in Hawaii Acting? Singing? Dancing? All of the above?
Again, not clear. So I changed it to "a job performing in Hawaii". Better? --Christine (talk) 04:43, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Of his praise for her singing, she writes: "Although I was not a great singer I was his mother, and he was my wonderful, dependently independent son". This sentence feels a bit odd. The quote is good, but I feel that it needs a better intro.
Ok, I aim to please. Changed to "When he praises her singing..." --Christine (talk) 04:47, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • I changed the wording of a sentence in the Repetition section to read: She includes in the third book some of the events that are described in her first two autobiographies. Please repair it if it's now factually inaccurate.
And I moved it to the new "Style and genre" section as was suggested. And it's not that the same events were repeated; there are just strong parallels between how she fulfilled her role as a single mother and how her own mother handled it. One of the strongest things I learned in my MFT training was that these kinds of parallels happen in families all the time. It can be quite eerie. but very common. That's why Angelou felt so guilty throughout the P&B tour; she was terrified that someone horrible would happen to Guy like something horrible happened to her, and why she cut short the tour and resolved to never be separated from him again, for any reason. Her next book demonstrated how she lived up to that resolve, and quite admirably. She began to repeat the sins of the previous generations, but stopped it. That's what so hopeful about her story as a parent. There's a big difference between familial parallels and actual events. I solved it by cutting the phrase you rewrote (sorry) and leaving the discussion about the parallel in actions and behavior. I think it should satisfy us both. --Christine (talk) 05:02, 17 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
No need to apologize for cutting my rewrites -- whatever makes the article better! Scartol • Tok 12:30, 18 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • The second paragraph of "Travel" feels a little extraneous. I'd like to see the connection between physical and emotional journey made more explicit, and maybe cut out some of the specific details that are recounted elsewhere.
I'm not sure I agree, Scar. The only real specific details are the list of the unhappy events, and I think it's necessary for clarification. As far as the physical and emotional journey aspect of this travel narrative, none of the sources go into that, unfortunately. Actually, if I were to ever write a scholarly paper on Angelou, it'd be about this very thing: The travel narrative aspect of her autobiographies and how it relates to the slave narrative. That really fascinates this white girl who's only lived in three states her entire life. --Christine (talk) 05:07, 18 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
That's fine. I'm not bonded to this idea. Scartol • Tok 12:30, 18 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • We should have a source listed right after the "setting breaks open" quote. (I'm a big fan of a citation immediately following every quote.)
Okay, done. --Christine (talk) 05:13, 18 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Since the "Travel" section ends with a mention of race, perhaps we should move the "Race" section to follow it? (Move "Race" up or move "Travel" down?)
I'm not sure I agree with doing it, but I bow to your expertise and logic. In other words, I can see why you'd want this, so I'm giving it to you. If we were to place the longest section first, as an indication of its importance, the "Race" section would go first. Personally, however, I think that "Travel" is the most important theme in this books, as per my comments above. I put "Music" second because of the book's title, but you can make a case for "Race" being part of the title as well. You're right, though; it flows better as per your suggestion. Maybe I'll change the end of "Travel" so that we can go back to the original placement. --Christine (talk) 05:24, 18 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I wouldn't have a problem with that. I also don't know if it's possible to rank themes in a book based on importance; usually they're fluid and interwoven. I do think it flows well now, but if you change wording, I don't have a problem with re-ordering. Scartol • Tok 12:30, 18 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Oh, I was always under the impression that themes should be ranked in order of importance. I might have even been told that by another editor, I dunno. But no matter--I think that if you can do both (place the more important content first, but make sure everything flows), that'd be the best situation. Transitions! That's always been a weakness in everything I do, even back as a sign language interpreter. I was always told my signs needed to flow more, and I'm still being told, as a writer/editor, that I need better transitions. The weird thing is my severely dd kids have the same trouble. But anyway, enough about me! ;) --Christine (talk) 04:15, 20 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'm not sure the reference to (and picture of) James Weldon Johnson fits into the "Music" section. On the other hand, I'm not sure where else it could go..
Yah, I know, I kinda feel similarly. If this is were a perfect world, I'll remove the Johnson image, have a map with everywhere Angelou travels in this book go into the "Travel" section, move the P&G image to "Music," and put a free image of Guy Johnson {MA's son) into the "Motherhood" section. Do we know of any editor who can create a map? --Christine (talk) 05:31, 18 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I've made one before, but I can't create the preferred SVG format. And I'm not sure when I'd have the time. But perhaps at some point... Scartol • Tok 12:30, 18 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
That would be so cool. Or we can ask someone else, 'cause one of two things will happen. It'll never happen, 'cause you're always busy, or you're working on it right now because you're conscientious and so on-the-ball. You always ask the busiest person to do stuff, because one of the reasons they're so busy is that they excel so much and everyone around them knows that. Buit again, I digress. --Christine (talk) 04:20, 20 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Angelou continues an examination of her experiences with discrimination, begun in her first two volumes and expands it to explore race and race relations. I feel like it is inaccurate to call that an expansion, since race and race relations are prominent themes in Caged Bird.
Actually, the offending phrase is misleading and a little redundant, so I cut it. It reads better now, and is much more clear. --Christine (talk) 04:28, 20 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Later, she has a friendship among equals with Jorie, Don, and Barrie, who assist her job quest at The Purple Onion. (I adjusted the wording a bit already.) I assume these are white folks? If so, they should be identified as such.
So I identified them, as MA's "white co-workers". Hey, I just noticed something! Scartol, you're the only other person other than me I've ever met that uses the word "folks" ti describe a group of people. Although I used it most often to refer to Deaf people, a la "Deaf folks." How weird is that! --Christine (talk) 04:43, 20 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I picked it up (like many other linguistic patterns, since he's just so cool) from Cornel West. It's a great word that defuses some of the tension that folks have when discussing race. (BTW the fixes you've done here are good -- I just don't have time to respond to each one. Nice work as always!) Scartol • Tok 11:33, 20 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Could we get an example of how her experiences with Porgy and Bess help her broaden her view of race and race relations?
I added this phrase: as she meets people of different nationalities during her travels. Is that enough? --Christine (talk) 04:48, 20 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'm not a fan of single-paragraph sections. I'm not sure how to remedy this, but it seems like there must be a way.
I know, I know. We could put the "Motherhood" and "Conflict" sections together, but that would be cheating. See, I don't have an issue with it (obviously). The only other solution I can see to helping you feel better about that section is to add more content, but I think that the current version summarizes the theme, which I think (obviously) is important enough to include. Sorry, can't help you more. --Christine (talk) 04:52, 20 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Could we get the name of the publication in which Margaret McFadden-Gerber's negative review appeared?
Sure. I don't see why, since it's in the reference, but I aim to please.
Kudos to Christine for her hard work on another important article! I look forward to supporting soon. Scartol • Tok 19:03, 12 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks, that means a lot. And thanks for your assistance, as always. --Christine (talk) 04:58, 20 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

images File:Angelou3.jpg has no valid fu rationale Fasach Nua (talk) 22:53, 16 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Now, please correct me if I'm wrong, since I've gone on the record numerous times admitting my deficiency in understanding image policy, but I believe this image doesn't need a FUR, since it has a Non-free media use rationale. If I am wrong, please let me know, plus what we need to do to fix. --Christine (talk) 04:45, 17 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Yes the two are the same thing, however the purpose states:
  • The image serves as the primary means of visual identification of the subject (the book).
  • It illustrates educational articles about the book from which the cover illustration was taken.
Neither of these are purposes, You need to add why the subject needs a visual identification, and why the article needs illustrated, referencing WP:NFCC Fasach Nua (talk) 07:17, 17 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Understood. I made some changes, which are hopefully to your satisfaction. (BTW, it's pretty much stolen from the description of the infobox image in To Kill a Mockingbird. --Christine (talk) 04:47, 18 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comment I don't see the issues mentioned earlier in the review on a quick scan. It's a quick read, which I like. I'll revisit later today with a closer read-through in case I've missed something. Definitely leaning support. Truthkeeper88 (talk) 16:23, 26 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Found some rough patches, mostly in the lead.
  • Repetition in the first two sentences > try to tighten up a little
  • The book, which includes a wide geographical range, covers most of Angelou's twenties > the book doesn't literally cover wide geographical range or Angelou's twenties. Try something like: In the book, which spans the time period when Angelou was in her twenties, Angelou presents a wide area of geography (this is my no means perfect, just an example)
  • the rest of the sentence mentioned above is very long. Try to separate.
  • Swingin' and Singin' continues to examine > the book doesn't examine. Try something like: In Swingin' and Singin' Angelou examines....
  • especially in Angelou's depictions of her travels, which take up 40 percent of the book > needs to be reworded. How about: Approximately 40 percent of the book consists of Angelou's travels .... ?
  • She goes into the hospital for an appendectomy, and announces her desire to return to her grandmother in Stamps, but Tosh informs her that Annie has died. > do we know why he hadn't told her earlier? When did the grandmother die in relation to when she had the appendectomy?
  • her career begins to take off > too literal. Needs to be reworded.
  • Should Whites be capitalized? (I'd tend to say no, but could be convinced otherwise).
Nice informative article. I enjoyed reading it. Truthkeeper88 (talk) 20:39, 26 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Review by Charles Edward A few comments from me here. :) The article is interesting, but still has a few issues. I've outlined them below.

  • General
    • "It made her "without a doubt, ... America's most visible black woman autobiographer"." - this should probably be attributed inline
    • "Travel is a common theme in American autobiography as a whole; it is something of a national myth to Americans as a people." - The last half seems just a little POV to me. You should probably attribute that inline.
    • "...Angelou works out her relationships with the White world..." - I am not sure "White" should be capitalized here. If it is in the source though, its ok.
    • "...with fellow Black cast..." same here, black should probably be lower case, unless it is a last name (but I don't think that is what is meant there)
    • There are several other instances where "White" and "Black" are capitalized, please review each of these to make sure it is appropriate, they should only be capitalized when being used as a proper name.
  • Prose
    • "...it marked the first time a..." how about just "...it was the first time a..."
    • "Angelou's first two autobiographies, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings and Gather Together in My Name, recounted her early life, from the age of four when Caged Bird begins, to the end of her teenage years at the end of Gather Together." - this is a little tricky to understand. how about "Angelou's first two autobiographies were I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings and Gather Together in My Name. They recounted her early life, starting when she was age of four and progressing through her her teenage years."
    • "Through the writing of her life stories," - how about - "Through writing her life story," - I am not sure a person can have more than one life story, unless perhaps they were reincarnated. :)
    • "Angelou changed the verb endings in her title to parallel the black vernacular and, because music was one of the book's themes, to evoke the sound of a blues singer." - how about - " Because music was one of the book's themes, Angelou changed the verb endings in her title to better reflect black dialect and evoke the sound of a blues singer."
    • Reference 27 & 28 each have their page number linked, but others from the same source do not? Why? I'd suggest removing those links.
    • Ref # 9, 31, & 62 are the same and should be combined.
    • In "O'Neale, Sondra" and "Cudjoe, Selwyn R" references, there is a period in "N.Y", but no such periods in the other references states. This should be uniform.
  • Citations needed
    • "Angelou was one of the first African American female writers to publicly discuss her personal life, and one of the first to use herself as a central character in her books, something she continued in Singin' and Swingin'."
    • "Critic Mary Jane Lupton insisted that the title, one of the many similes Angelou uses, was tied to the book's themes. Lupton also considered the title "ironic"; Angelou used "old-fashioned" and "positive" words—singin' and swingin' —that reflected several meanings related to the text" - quotes without citations
    • "Not all is "merry like Christmas", however; the book is also marked by negative events: her painful marriage and divorce, the death of her grandmother, and her long separation from her son." uncited quote
    • "McPherson calls Singin' and Swingin' "Angelou's praisesong" to the opera" - uncited quote - I note there is a cite for this in the lead though.
    • "Motherhood was a "prevailing theme" throughout Angelou's autobiographies." - uncited quote
    • "...although she preferred the rhythm of Caged Bird, found Singin' and Swingin' "very professional, even-toned, and ... quite engaging"." uncited quote
  • References
    • I've always been somewhat neutral on using Primary sources for establishing plots. There are a few paragraphs in the plot sections though that have no citations at the end. You should probably put some there.
  • Alt text present
    • Except for the lead image
  • Images

Oppose Overall this article is pretty good. I pointed out the most obvious prose issues, but there are a number more. This article could still do with a fair copyedit. The number of uncited quotes, the prose, and the usage of the the purple onion image make me have to oppose for now. None of these issues are hard to address though, and if you can I'd be glad to change to support. Great job so far, I see you've put alot of work into the article. Keep up the good work and you will have a feature article on your hands soon enough! —Charles Edward (Talk | Contribs) 14:47, 27 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]


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