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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Si Tjonat/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Ian Rose 10:01, 27 October 2013 (UTC) [1].[reply]

Si Tjonat edit

Si Tjonat (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

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Nominator(s):  — Crisco 1492 (talk) 09:14, 10 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article because it is ready. Si Tjonat, based on the novel of the same name, was one of the earliest film adaptations of a novel in what is now Indonesia. It was also the predecessor to a series of martial arts films, although these are (like Si Tjonat itself) lost.  — Crisco 1492 (talk) 09:14, 10 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Minor comment: I see a small harv error coming up (something to do with the Pangemanann and Toer sources, I think). Ruby 2010/2013 17:14, 11 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

* Support/Mendukung/Setuju Belum menjadi AP di WBI, jadi saya bilang setuju. Hanamanteo (talk) 00:38, 12 October 2013 (UTC) This translates to "It is not a featured article in the Indonesian wikipedia, thus I support it." This is tremendously nonsensical. A featured article is not chosen simply because it is not a featured article in another wikipedia; it is chosen because it has fulfilled all the required criteria! Thus, this vote should be completely disregarded.[reply]

Support – With just the one minor comment from me:

  • "Sim, of peranakan Chinese descent, had previous experience acting in the Shanghai-based film industry in China". For some reason "had previous acting experience in the Shanghai-based film industry in China" rolls off the tongue much easily. Also, do we need to say "Shanghai-based" and "China" in the same sentence? -- CassiantoTalk 15:46, 12 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Tried minimizing. I had gone with China as there is always a possibility the reader doesn't know Shanghai. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 18:03, 12 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • All good in that case. I'm liking these small and unknown Indonesian film articles! -- CassiantoTalk 22:25, 12 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Leaning support Just a few things

Lede:

"(now Jakarta)" perhaps "today" instead of "now", as the "now" might be misunderstood by non-Indonesians to refer to the plot, not the city name.
  • I think that it being a silent film should be mentioned at the top of the lede, not dropped in offhand at the end.
Plot
  • "indigenous person". I think you need to be more specific as to what this term designates, despite the link. After all, you do not say where they escaped from to Batavia (I'm not saying you should, I'm saying that it the reader might be at something of a loss).
  • West Java (don't recall the village). In the novel he was explicitly Sundanese, which I've added here. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:10, 13 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Tjonat later leaves the household to become a bandit." It could be argued that he already is one, perhaps "to live the life of a bandit".
  • The lede says the woman was kidnapped, the body says that the attempt was thwarted.
Release
  • " in the industry" used twice in close proximity, I would alter one or the other.
  • Found only one use of "in the industry", but reworked anyways. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:10, 13 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • " they later reused Sim" I don't like reused in that context, when applied to a person, rather than an object. Perhaps "casted"
  • "lost" concludes consecutive sentences in the last paragraph.--Wehwalt (talk) 23:13, 12 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Image check There's only one and it is appropriately licensed.--Wehwalt (talk) 23:13, 12 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Thank you for the image check and review. I think I got everything. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:11, 13 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support Looks good.--Wehwalt (talk) 13:01, 14 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Support. I had my say at an informal PR (left on the talk page); another read-through shows that the article has only improved since then. - SchroCat (talk) 09:16, 13 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Support and comments Just two minor niggles Jimfbleak - talk to me? 18:32, 13 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • The story had proven— I'd say "proved", ignore if this is standard US-talk
  • JB Kristanto/F.D.J. Pangemanann—inconsistent use of full stops

Source review - spotchecks not done. Be consistent in whether you abbreviate page ranges. Also, not a source comment, but I'm not sure "silent" makes sense for "language". Nikkimaria (talk) 17:46, 17 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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