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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Serpens/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Graham Beards via FACBot (talk) 07:33, 15 August 2015 [1].

Serpens edit

Nominator(s): StringTheory11 (t • c) 02:49, 16 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about the only one of the 88 modern constellations to be split into two separate regions in the sky. It has had feedback from a professional astronomer (Mike Peel), and I believe it now meets the FA criteria. Any comments would be greatly appreciated. StringTheory11 (t • c) 02:49, 16 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Suppport: my concerns were addressed or explained, Praemonitus (talk) 17:02, 18 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comment from Praemonitus – it looks good overall. Here's a few points that may need correcting:
  • "Notable extragalactic objects include Seyfert's Sextet, one of the densest galaxy clusters known, Arp 220, the prototypical ultraluminous infrared galaxy, and Hoag's Object, the most famous of the very rare class of galaxies known as ring galaxies": There's some ambiguity because of the commas. It might make sense to include semi-colon separators between the objects.
  • "Part of the Milky Way passes through Serpens Cauda"; part of the 'Milky Way disk' perhaps? Or Galactic plane of the Milky Way, for consistency.
  • "inverse P Cygni profile": this technical term is red linked, and therefore remains inaccessible to the casual reader.
  • linked
  • "neutron star" should be wikilinked.
  • done
  • "The star's metal abundance is incredibly high" is rather vague.
  • rewritten
  • "The eclipses of the system very erratic": unclear what this is trying to say.
    • I changed it to "The eclipses of the system vary erratically", which appears to be what is covered by the ref. Praemonitus (talk) 16:59, 18 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • The article randomly switches between parsec and light years.
  • The reason I've done it this way is I've used whatever units the source was using, which I think is better just to stay closer to the sources. If you still want me to change it, please let me know. StringTheory11 (t • c) 03:26, 18 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
    • Okay. Praemonitus (talk) 17:02, 18 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
      • I think we should go more for light years, as that is a more common unit for the kind of reader who would look at this article. Graeme Bartlett (talk) 11:12, 20 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "MKW 3s — NGC 5920 — appears": spaced em-dashes
  • fixed
  • "Gavin White" should be "White, Gavin".
  • Fixed
  • "Spectroscopy and BVIC photometry of the young open cluster NGC�6604" has a non-printing character, at least on my browser.
  • fixed

Thank you. Praemonitus (talk) 21:21, 16 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Graeme Bartlett edit

  • There are several uses of the deprecated cite doi/10.1... templates. Hopefully these can be merged into this article.
  • completed merge
  • A couple of references seem to have excessively long author lists, perhaps they can use display-authors to reduce the list.
  • fixed I have set these to 9, but there is still one ref with a couple more
  • the Testa, Vincenzo reference has spelt out formatting.
  • fixed
  • There are a few titles using all capitals.
  • fixed
  • "Thehipparcoscatalogue" needs splitting.
  • fixed
  • "Vasil'Yanovskaya" is incorrectly capitalised.
  • fixed
  • "Van Den" is incorrectly capitalised.
  • fixed twice
  • "3C?317" has ? included.
  • fixed
  • Incorrect capitalisation in "IbanoǧLu"
  • fixed
  • Same reference includes extraneous "★" in the title.
  • fixed
  • "TheGALEXUltraviolet" needs splitting.
  • fixed
  • Journal title "IAU Circ" needs expanding - (nearly every other title is good here though)
  • fixed
  • "Central Bureau Electronic Telegrams" should expand to "Central Bureau for Astronomical Telegrams"
  • fixed
  • o’Sullivan, Ewan needs uppercasing
  • fixed
  • There is also another use of "★" in error in the "Abell 41" reference
  • fixed
  • Do any planets, apart from Pluto, ever enter Serpens?
  • I was unable to find any sources stating so, and found a few (unreliable) sources stating the opposite (their quality isn't good enough for any inclusion in the article, but in the absence of any source stating the planets pass through, I think they're sufficient enough to omit inclusion). StringTheory11 (t • c) 00:43, 23 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Check if Van Dishoeck or Van Dyk should have lower v.
  • I find it hard to believe for a topic like this that we only have one arxiv: reference.
  • Inconsistent ISBN13 format 9780955903700 and 978-1-55407-175-3
  • fixed
  • The coordinates at the top of page do not appear to be in the constellation (17h 00m 00s, +03° 00′ 00″)
  • Ah, that was a relic from before I ever started work on this article; I never noticed it until now! I've now set the template to point to the center of Serpens Caput, but it doesn't seem to be possible to add another to point to Serpens Cauda, unfortunately.... StringTheory11 (t • c) 03:00, 24 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Image review edit

  • Actually the alt= text is supposed to give information about what is seen in the picture rather than rewording the caption. This is because people that use alt= text get both the caption and the alt text. See WP:ALT. So for example Hoag's Object could be: "a starry and nebulous ring surrounds a dark circle containing a diffuse yellow ball". Graeme Bartlett (talk) 22:30, 20 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Thank you; I have changed the alt text accordingly. StringTheory11 (t • c) 02:07, 21 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Jim edit

Good work, but needs some tweaking Jimfbleak - talk to me? 16:29, 20 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

  • Should HII region have a space as in the linked article?
  • I've seen it commonly spelled both ways in academic papers; if you still want me to change it, please let me know. StringTheory11 (t • c) 17:14, 20 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Asclepius was known for killing a snake that was resurrected because a different snake"—sloppy, shouldn't need "was known" and snake/different snake is vague to say the least.
  • I remember when I was writing this, I spent around 5 minutes just staring at the sentence trying to make it flow better, but couldn't think of a way. I've tried to make it less awkward; how does it look now? StringTheory11 (t • c) 17:14, 20 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Sometimes, Serpens was depicted as coiling around Ophiuchus, but the majority showed Serpens"— majority of what?
  • You have a tendency to repeat word in the same or contiguous sentences, "was known/were known being one of many examples, please check this and vary the wording.
  • I caught a problematic instance down in the "tail stars" section and fixed the "was known/were known" example as well. I just gave the article a read-through and didn't notice anything else egregious, so how does it look now?StringTheory11 (t • c) 17:28, 20 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • the reason for Serpens' presence with Ophiuchus, the true reason…/ and loosely corresponded to Hydra. Bašmu was a horned serpent (c.f. Ningishzida) and loosely corresponds/ Located near Alpha... located only 12 parsecs away... a binary star[10] located, Jimfbleak - talk to me? 18:46, 20 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • All issues you mention fixed, and more instances of "located" changed to other words as well. StringTheory11 (t • c) 19:09, 20 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • There are still more dups than I am happy with, for example three galactic planes (with differing capitalisation). If you are doing it by inspection, you are bound to miss some Jimfbleak - talk to me? 18:46, 20 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Hmm, I definitely fixed that earlier today, and for me there's only one link in the lead and one in the body. WP seems to be having some caching issues today where changes aren't showing up immediately and sometimes appear to go away for a bit only to return later. StringTheory11 (t • c) 19:02, 20 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support The repetition has been cleared and dups are minimal now, so I pleased to support this comprehensive article Jimfbleak - talk to me? 13:42, 21 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support - I've read through this a few times over the past several months and done some minor tweaks. It's a bit listy but that is unavoidable in these articles. No prose clangers are jumping out at me. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 11:00, 24 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Coord note -- about ready to close this but first, we generally expect all paragraphs to end in citations; second para in History and third in Tail stars do not as yet. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 08:00, 8 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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