Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Scotch College, Perth/archive2

Scotch College, Perth edit

Old nomination: archive 1, peerreviews: Archive 1, [2].

Since its last nomination, this article has been peer reviewed, and I have fixed its problems mentioned in the last FAC. This time, I think it is of a standard required in the critera. This article is currently featured on the school portal too. (See talk page for article).

Nominate(self-nom) and support. --Hamedog^Talk|@ 06:00, 6 March 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Object. I feel like a real gripe, but for an article on a school to be promoted, it should be very special. There are millions of schools (probably about 6M), and WP will be swamped with FA articles on them unless the criteria are strictly applied.

Criterion 1 says that an FA "exemplifies our very best work". One of the problems here is that some of the information is plain boring to anyone who didn't attend the school, and perhaps to some who did.

Who cares that "Senior School students have two ties - a house tie and a school tie. On most days, students will wear the house tie...."?

Too much of it looks as though it was written by the marketing department, e.g., "Scotch gives students the chance to learn instruments during class time in the senior school. Students may also join the pipe band if their playing skills and marching skills are of a high standard. The pipe band traditionally lead the school in marching." (Should that be "leads"?)

The writing is certainly not "compelling, even brilliant" (Criterion 2a). Most sentences contain redundancies. For example:

"For all students in the high school, sports is a compulsory activity. Teams will usually have training two times per week". What about:

"Sport is compulsory for all students in the high school; teams usually train twice a week."

Tony 06:38, 6 March 2006 (UTC)[reply]

- A Single (song) is a candidate 3 places down the page - there are millions of songs just like there are millions of schools, why should that effect it? --Hamedog^Talk|@ 07:08, 6 March 2006 (UTC)[reply]

BTW, the only featured school article I know of is Caulfield Grammar School. --Hamedog^Talk|@ 10:16, 7 March 2006 (UTC)[reply]

- - Quite right: A single song should not be a featured article, unless the editors can make the case that that song is culturally significant and culturally or historically active. This is why, for example, "Satisfaction" or "Blowing in the Wind" would be potential FA's but not why the #4 song from the #4 Queen album isn't. Geogre 16:05, 6 March 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Note For those that dont know what George is referring to the 4th song on Queens 4th album (A night at the opera) was You're My Best Friend and it has an article quite right though it isnt a FAC but it does have an interesting perspective in its creation and performance. It was the 11th track that is historically significant. Gnangarra 16:28, 6 March 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose As I'm from Perth Western Australia I would really like to support any article that promotes here. This Article just fails to entice the reader, it has lots of potential maybe it needs to be more colaborative. I wouldn't describe it as written by a marketing department, to me it reads like the quite significant efforts of a single Year 12 student, impressive as that is the focus on the current school enviroment isn't sufficiently balance with previous periods in time. The part about successful students is more directed at recent students, last 15-20 years. Surely there have been significant achievements by pass students before 1980. Gnangarra 12:41, 6 March 2006 (UTC)[reply]

The part about successful students is more directed at recent students, last 15-20 years. Surely there have been significant achievements by pass students before 1980

Probably. Will try and find some information. Good suggestion. --Hamedog^Talk|@ 08:21, 8 March 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Object. The article simply does not have an encyclopedica enough tone, especially in the history section. Also, the sectioning of the article seems to be inconsistent. The history section is very long and undivided, but the other parts of the article are frequently divided, comprising small sections with single-sentence paragraphs. This article needs a good copyedit before it can be an FA. The writing is just not yet up to par. RyanGerbil10 21:55, 7 March 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Weak object. A few stylistic things and a slightly unencyclopedic tone are my only problems, all easily fixable (and I'll gladly change to support if they are fixed IMO). First, the lead should probably be tweaked and reorganized to conform to WP:LEAD style, as it's a little hodge-podge right now. Second, the History section is crying out for subsections of some kind. There must have been some notable turning point in the school's history to use as a divier, and if not just go "1897-1950" and "1950-present" or something similar (with better names, obviously). The encyclopedic tone is the more major issue, still fixable, but it will require a careful review. Sentences like "Scotch College describes learning as "more than an academic issue; it is a 'total picture' which provides a balance between a student's intellectual, physical, emotional, relational and spiritual needs"" (in the lead to boot) are probably unneeded or need an edit. Also, not a complaint but a note: Why not make articles, at least stubs, for the redlinked famous alumni? They should be notable enough to warrant WP articles or they aren't notable enough for this list. Staxringold 01:05, 8 March 2006 (UTC)[reply]

"Scotch College describes learning as "more than an academic issue; it is a 'total picture' which provides a balance between a student's intellectual, physical, emotional, relational and spiritual needs"

That was pretty much based on the fact that Caulfield Grammar School, which is a featured article, has a sentance like that in the lead. --Hamedog^Talk|@ 08:21, 8 March 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Also what do you mean by encyclopedic tone. If you can explain this I will attempt to revert this problem. --Hamedog^Talk|@ 09:46, 8 March 2006 (UTC)[reply]

For posterity's sake, we have discussed this on Hame's talk page. Staxringold 23:51, 9 March 2006 (UTC)[reply]