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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Ruma Maida/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Ian Rose 02:23, 31 May 2012 [1].

Ruma Maida

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Ruma Maida (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

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Nominator(s):  — Crisco 1492 (talk) 10:42, 13 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article because I believe it is a comprehensive look at an area which most readers are unfamiliar with, namely Indonesian films; this particular film wasn't that successful, although I found it fascinating. I would like to thank Grapple X, who reviewed the article for GA, and Tim riley for a copyedit.  — Crisco 1492 (talk) 10:42, 13 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Support As noted above I have copy-edited the article, but have not otherwise contributed to it. The minor points I raised during the copy-edit have been thoroughly dealt with. The article seems to me to be comprehensive, balanced, well-referenced and readable. Provided the images are all right I believe this article meets the FA criteria. Tim riley (talk) 11:09, 13 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Source review - spotchecks not done, I don't speak Indonesian.

  • Found one case of double periods, where the title had a period at the end. Fixed.
  • Publisher id added for Dekade, OCLC added for Ruma Maida DVD.
  • Leaning to Support. Was spot-checking the English-language sources (no issues when checked against the Triwik Kurniasari and Dewi Anggraeni articles) when I saw that one source appears to be listed and not used. ""Rediscovering world cinema in Singapore". The Jakarta Post. 18 April 2010. Archived from the original on 8 May 2012. Retrieved 8 May 2012" uses the same SfnRef anchor as another citation (the Triwik Kurniasari article, also from the Jakarta Post), so it's possible inline citations that are pointing to the latter are meant to point to the former. Aside from that I'm not seeing anything standing out to me; I'm happy enough to back this when the aforementioned citing mix-up is looked at. I reviewed this during its Good Article candidacy if that's worth noting. GRAPPLE X 16:43, 14 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Fixed. Thanks for both reviews.  — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:11, 14 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    Happy days; support clarified. GRAPPLE X 15:09, 16 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments: Supported below well, I finally got around to starting a review on this.
  • "After three months of pre-production, shooting began in Semarang, Central Java, and Kota, Jakarta. After three months..." I'd try to avoid the repetition of "After three months..."
  • "Critical reception to the film was mixed, with several reviewers praising the visuals but disapproving of the plot and dialogue." I'd suggest a semi or full colon instead of the with here. Mark Arsten (talk) 01:47, 25 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "However, one day her class is interrupted" I'm not sure if it's a good idea to use "however" to start this paragraph.
  • Nixed
  • "A young Christian history student, Maida (Atiqah Hasiholan) runs a free school for street children in Jakarta." Is there a way to avoid the ambiguity here? Is she a Christian who studies history, or someone who studies the history of Christianity?
  • This new one is not ambiguous, but I think it's a little clunky
  • "mainly known for her novels, she had avoided screenplays as they were generally too commercially-oriented." Is the part about being "commercially-oriented" a fact, or just her opinion? Also, is the hyphen necessary here?
  • Her opinion. Not sure about the hyphen.
  • "cinematographer Ical Tanjung said that Soeriaatmadja was still open to feedback from the cast and crew." I'm not sure about the use of "still" here.
  • Added however, as this is a contrast
  • Agree with stereotype and sepia. As flashback is important to the sentence it's in and is actually a rather technical term, I'd rather keep it.
  • "Ruma Maida uses different colours and shooting styles to indicate different time periods." A little repetition here, "different... different".
  • Removed the first "different"
  • In the beginning of "Style" you say "Ruma Maida uses different colours and shooting styles" and in the neighboring picture caption "Ruma Maida used a sepia overlay and static camera", might want to standardize there.
  • Hehe yeah.
  • The "time comma" usage is inconsistent in this section, "That August, Ruma Maida..." vs "In November it was screened..."
  • Removed, per BrE.
  • Some repetition here: "Benke wrote... Sari wrote... Suditmo wrote..."
  • Reorganised.
  • "A review in Republika expressed that the film may be too boring for the general public owing to its slow-moving plot" I'm not sure here, but "A review in Republika expressed that" might not be the ideal way of saying this.
  • Suggested?

Note -- Image check, anyone? Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 22:18, 27 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]


The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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