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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Philip I Philadelphus/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Sarastro1 via FACBot (talk) 22:56, 17 August 2018 [1].

Philip I Philadelphus edit

Nominator(s): Attar-Aram syria (talk) 17:49, 28 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about a little known king reigning Syria at the end of the once great Seleucid empire. He was one among four contenders for the throne, all of them managed to rule some parts of the country! Yet, despite his humble role in history, Rome found it fit to maintain his image on the coins of its Syrian province for fifty years: so he must have left an impression in the region. The article went through copy editing by the guild and is the result of extensive research in which I made sure to represent all scholarly views.Attar-Aram syria (talk) 17:49, 28 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Source review edit

A couple of what I think are typos in the refs but didn't like to change:

  • "Chronotope in Liberature" – Literature?
  • "Mmonetary" – Monetary?

That apart, all the sources appear reputable and in line with WP:RS, and are consistently cited. Tim riley talk 18:23, 28 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed monetary. Liberature is correct though.--Attar-Aram syria (talk) 18:33, 28 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Support – A good read, well and widely cited, and, as far as a layman can see, comprehensive. Tim riley talk 20:16, 28 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Dank edit

  • "Tigranes II of Armenia conquered Syria that year at the request of the Antiochian population, who refused to accept Philip's minor son as his successor. This is debatable, however, since the conquest might have occurred in 74 BC.": This is confusing. Give it another shot.
    • Hello. I realize that it is not easy to follow and this stems from the natur of our information about him. We simply dont know when he died and historians are dating his death to the campaign of Tigranes, but this campaign itself is debated..... I tried my best to keep it simple.
      • Does anyone else find the wording here confusing? - Dank (push to talk)
        • Rewrote the paragraph. What do you think now
  • "In the face of their uncle": I don't know what that means.
    • It is explained in the background section that Demetrius III and Seleucus VI are sons of Antiochus VIII, and that Antiochus IX was the brother and rival of Antiochus VIII, hence, the uncle of Seleucus and Demetrius. Uncle is used to avoid writing Antiochus IX three times in one line
      • I don't know what "In the face of " means. - Dank (push to talk)
        • Oh that part you didnt know. I changed the wording
          • I don't know what "In confrontation of their uncle" means. Did they confront him? - Dank (push to talk)
            • Their father died, and their uncle and enemy took the capital. They did not want to submit to him. What do you suggest should be written to make this clear?
              • What you just said is clear to me. - Dank (push to talk) 12:34, 29 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
                • Fine
  • "Those factors, combined with the low estimates of annual coin dies used by Philip's immediate predecessors in Antioch—Antiochus X (his second reign) and Demetrius III, disproportionate compared with the general die estimates of late Seleucid kings—led numismatist Oliver D. Hoover to propose that Philip recoined his predecessors' coins and skewed their dies[38] to produce currency bearing his image, reduced in weight from the standard 1,600 g (56 oz) to 1,565 g (55.2 oz).": That's quite a mouthful for one sentence.
    • Sentence split
  • "111–110 BC", "85–84 BC": The trouble is that everyone thinks they know what the dash means, but when you ask them, different people say it means different things. If "or" was meant here, say "or".
    • originaly it read 85/84 which is the academic usage. this changed apparently with the copy edit. I re wrote them with a / . By 111/110 for example, I mean a Seleucid year which began in November 111 and ended in September 110
      • Without reading the footnotes, how will the reader know that this is what is meant? Most of the time, readers don't rely on links for comprehension. "or" would work, and wouldn't require a lot of scholarly explanation. - Dank (push to talk)
        • footnote removed. Information moved to the end of the lede. This way the readers will understand what its meant by year/year and expand their knowledge so they will also understand what it means if they read a scholarly article in some academic journal
          • Other reviewers may want to weigh in on this one. - Dank (push to talk) 12:26, 29 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
            • The solution now adopted is unorthodox, but, I think, sensible. I'm happy to support it. Tim riley talk 18:14, 29 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "which could not have been produced in if his reign": ?
    • fixed
  • Support on prose per my standard disclaimer. Well done. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. These are my edits. - Dank (push to talk) 20:20, 28 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Note: Hey Dank and Tim riley, I was searching for a more elegant solution and came across this: Wikipedia:Hatnote#Legitimate information about the topic. The guidlines page dont like the hatnote for such a reason, but if I actually make it, then it will look like this at the very top of the article:

Some dates in the article are given according to the Seleucid era numbering, which is indicated when two years have a slash separating them.

Do you think this is suitable?

I just now saw this comment; I didn't get pinged by it because you didn't sign. I wouldn't go with a hatnote. - Dank (push to talk) 21:24, 22 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

  • Suggest scaling up the map
    • Done
  • File:Philippus_Philadelphus_infobox.jpg should include an explicit copyright tag for the original work. Same with File:Philippos_Philadelphos_-_AR_tetradrachm.jpg
    • fixed
  • File:Aulus_Gabinius.jpg: source site appears to claim copyright on this photo. Nikkimaria (talk) 21:12, 30 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
    • Photo replaced

From FunkMonk edit

  • I'll review this soon. FunkMonk (talk) 08:15, 1 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
    • Thanks for taking the time
  • I think the infobox image could need a caption.
  • "according to Eusebius Philip was also there" Comma between the names?
  • "thought it was Beroea." Since this links to modern day Aleppo, I wonder whether that should be stated in parenthesis?
  • "to prepare for a challenge for the throne" To prepare against might sound better, so you prevent two "for" in a row.
  • "Alfred Raymond Bellinger" Present him and others mentioned.
    • Fixed
  • Might be interesting to see if we can find some variations of the coins, like those showing beards, and with his twin. The ones currently used are very similar to each other.
    • I couldnt find a photo of a coin showing him bearded. The coins with his twin are rare and I found one on two sites, but the copyrights are a problem as usual here and here
Seems very strict, sadly: "You may not republish, commercially distribute, duplicate, or exploit any aspect of the Website, either code or content. Other than the Fair Usage specified in the License for Limited Uses, You may not download, reproduce, modify, distribute, transfer, sell, or create derivative works of any code, contents, data, whether specifically copyrighted or not. Any unauthorized usage of the Website may subject You to civil or criminal prosecution." FunkMonk (talk) 01:41, 10 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Hey FunkMonk, I think I have one now. It is not from the website of CNG but from a published volume by CNG available for free download on their website. So, I believe the CNG lisence apply to it. Look here
Cool, now I just think it needs a direct link to where the image can be found in the source field. FunkMonk (talk) 01:03, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
What do you mean? the image is from a printed book that was available for download. The image itself is not on the website. This link take you to the book's entry on the website and this is the downlad link. So which link do are you refering to?
I mean for where the book can be downloaded, could be linked in the source field. FunkMonk (talk) 01:19, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I put the link in commons and placed the photo in the wiki article.
Looks good to me, I assume the licence covers their journal too. FunkMonk (talk) 01:42, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "accept Philip's minor son" WP:Easter egg links are discouraged, spell out the name.
    • Fixed
FunkMonk, did you have anything to add? (Not admonishing you to declare a position, just making sure you're all done.) Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 09:19, 7 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support - strange, I thought I had already supported, but here it is! FunkMonk (talk) 10:22, 7 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Support Fifelfoo edit

Bibliographic and Citation style; HQRS & coverage; plagiarism spot check (3); plagiarism style check; Style; Do sources support claims? (FUTON, 3-5ish from memory?) Fifelfoo (talk) 14:15, 6 July 2018 (UTC) Fifelfoo (talk) 16:07, 6 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Bibliographic and Citation Style

  • The external link should be brought into style
    • Can you provide me with an example of external links style? Im not really an expert in this
  • Fixed for you Hoover (2008), |series= parameter is expected to take a descriptive type title, "Joes Series on Ancient Drinks," using it for a journal series run would require a similar descriptive function. "Second series"
    • Thanks
  • Checked the back linking from citations to bibliography

HQRS & coverage

Style

  • Bad topic sentence, "The name Philip (Greek Phílippos) means "lover of horses"." Move to be after the sentence with his birth? The new first sentence would make sense then.
  • "His position was insecure." Philip? Topic sentence starting with a pronoun isn't the best for clarity
  • "Philip's attempt weakens" attempt to what?
  • "The king was succeeded" who? Philip?
    • Fixed

Do the sources support the claims?

  • While doing the above I must have checked 3-5ish FUTONs and they did. Fifelfoo (talk) 14:59, 8 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

comments from WereSpielChequers edit

Support. I have made a couple of tweaks, hope you like them, if not its a wiki

  • "Cleopatra Thea of Egypt became the consort of three successive Syrian kings in 150 BC" three marriages in one year is quite some going perhaps "Cleopatra Thea of Egypt became the consort of three successive Syrian kings in 150, 145 and 137 BC". might be clearer. ϢereSpielChequers 04:41, 7 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed
It reads well, not a subject that I have expertise in, but happy to support the aspects that I've checked. ϢereSpielChequers 07:09, 9 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Constantine edit

I made various copyedits as I went through, but generally this reads well, as usual. I trust that Attar-Aram syria has researched the subject exhaustively, as usual, and the article definitely looks like it.

  • I have changed "Egyptian" to "Ptolemaic", for accuracy and clarity; the Ptolemies were rulers of Egypt mainly, but not only, and this is an era of dynastic politics, rather than "national" ones.
  • "the Seleucids (who were descended from the Antigonids)" I cannot remember whether this is true; where did that descent come from? In any case, the statement is potentially confusing, because it can be understood that the Seleucids are an offshoot of the Antigonids, whereas they were contemporaries and antagonists. If the descent is partial (due to marriage etc) then please indicate it explicitly. E.g. "the Seleucids (who were [[Name of marriage link|partly descended]] from the Antigonids)".
  • Atkinson 2016 does not appear to be used in the article. If so, please remove it from the "Sources" section.

Otherwise, I cannot see any readily apparent omissions or errors. Supporting, and awaiting the resolution of the two minor issues mentioned above. Constantine ✍ 08:44, 10 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Hey Constantine, sorry for the late response. Im on a vacation and dont have any PC, only my phone and any editor knows what a pain it is to edit through a smart phone. I will work on your review as soon as Im home.
I have made the changes before this get archived. Cheers and thanks

Closing comments: As Constantine has supported, I don't think we need to wait for the resolution of these final issues. They can be addressed on the talk page when Attar-Aram syria returns. Sarastro (talk) 22:55, 17 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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