Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy/archive5

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Nominator(s): K. Peake 07:27, 3 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (2010), the fifth studio album by American rapper Kanye West. It was recorded during West's exile in Hawaii after a period of controversy through 2009, resulting in a maximalist style with elements of his previous work. The album was met with widespread critical acclaim and also received much retrospective praise, including being ranked as one of the greatest albums of all time. West promoted the album with four singles that were top 40 hits in the United States and the film Runaway, while it reached the top 10 in countries like the US and Canada. The article became a GA back in 2011, more than five years before I joined this site, though I have monitored it over the years and put in extensive work back in both 2022 for the first FAC and even more so for the multiple candidacies of 2024. The prevention of FAC on the last occasions were mainly the book sources not included and too much close phrasing, although I have put in a massive effort to clean these up and also worked on the reception to have concise themes. Clearly having waited over a month after the last candidacy had closed, I had brought this to the maximum potential and would appreciate any users commenting to follow this constructively with whatever suggestions since last few times, it appears the same ones commented with concerns in one candidacy but saved others until the next. West's magnum ops surely deserves FA; we can do this, fans! K. Peake 07:27, 3 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from HAL

I'll leave some comments soon. If I don't follow up by Wednesday, please ping me. ~ HAL333 19:46, 15 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

"Certain retailers would not carry the original cover" --> "Certain retailers did not carry the original cover"
Why wikilink "Burbank, California" but not "New York City"? (Both in the lead and body)
"reviewers lauded the maximalism" might be unclear to the average reader. Maybe "maximalist sound" or "maximalist approach"?
"the top 10 in numerous other countries" - can you give the actual number?
Reword to avoid the passive tense: "It has been ranked in lists"
The meaning of the clause "for challenging through contributions and inspiration" doesn't make sense to me...
What is "alien electronics"?
"West dedicates himself to expressing his emotions" seems a little fluffy
"West ventures into the id of his ego" seems like it should be credited to someone.
"shrinking world" - shrinking in what way?
"African-American" - shouldn't be hyphenated

More comments to come. ~ HAL333 20:59, 16 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

HAL333 Thanks for these comments, took me over a week but I checked back happily to find them – I've covered everything now. Please let me know if you want to clarify anything, look forward to seeing your further comments! --K. Peake 18:33, 24 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Round 2:

"once titled Good Ass Job and then as Dark Twisted Fantasy" —> I don't think "as" is needed
"A second cover containing painting of a ballerina" is awkward
"GOOD Fridays was originally intended" — "originally" isn't needed
Sentences like West elaborated how he had been deeply considering the idea of a phoenix for a while, regarding the possibility of it being parallel to his career that he "threw a Molotov cocktail" at, then felt the need "to come back as a better person". make me think that a formal copy edit might be needed...
"At one of his screenings for Runaway in Paris, he broke down into tears." --> "At a Runaway screening in Paris, he broke down into tears."
"Later after another screening in Los Angeles" —"later isn't needed"
Is there a better way to word "West said how his music and art affects people is his inspiration to continue in his career."
"it was reported that My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy had been streamed a billion times on Spotify" - Is this an allegation or is it fact? Can we word it as such?
"My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy later appeared on decade-end best albums lists." — "Later" relative to what? Remove.
Touré's views are given undue weight in the "Industry awards" section
Can you make "Having been vocal about snubs for major categories of award shows in the past" more concise?
I'm not particularly familiar with music media sources, but what makes outlets like HipHopDX or Hung Medien high quality reliable sources? This is an issue in several spots, e.g. the tabloid The Daily Telegraph.

Those are all my comments for now. This might need a second look from me, especially after others have commented. Comprehensiveness and most other aspects look great, but reference quality is a concern and the prose is lacking in many spots and needs to be polished for concision and "punchiness". ~ HAL333 17:51, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]