Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/John Hay/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Ian Rose 06:31, 9 August 2014 [1].

John Hay edit

Nominator(s): Wehwalt (talk) 00:42, 30 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about... John Hay, a man who had an incredible career. Beginning as assistant private secretary and surrogate son to Abraham Lincoln, he went on to be Assistant Secretary of State under Hayes and Garfield, then Secretary of State under McKinley and Teddy Roosevelt. He was the only man who had the ear of the first three presidents to be assassinated that I'm aware of. He was an author, a poet, a journalist, an ambassador, and married money. I should mention, perhaps, that I wrote much of this while on my recent Norway cruise, as it was difficult to sleep with the endless daylight and it gave me something to do. Thus, this article is an example, perhaps never to be equalled on Wikipedia, of making Hay while the sun shines. Thank you. Wehwalt (talk) 00:42, 30 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support: – and a bonus point for the bon mot in the nomination blurb. I gave this article a lot of attention during its recent peer review, here if anyone wants to see. Wehwalt does not always bow to my wishes but he always listens, and I feel he has responded to my various comments appropriately. I endorse his description of Hay's career as "incredible"; the fact that I had never heard of him is a reflection of the Anglo-centric nature of history as taught in English schools circa the 60s and 70s, rather than of Hay's lack of distinction. I have promised to do a sources review, and this will follow in a day or two. Brianboulton (talk) 14:58, 1 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for that. To be honest, I feared someone would come up with the joke before I had a chance to use it!--Wehwalt (talk) 16:18, 1 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support - I had my hay ... erm, say, at the PR. This article is well written and comprehensive. Another fantastic article from Wehwalt. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 05:46, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you also.--Wehwalt (talk) 09:28, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support – despite the agonising pun in the preamble, above. This article explains, clearly and entertainingly, why Hay, a backroom boy in many ways, was a political figure of the first importance. We peer reviewers ganged up on Wehwalt about the length of the lit crit section; it is shorter now, and as it is detached from the rest of the text and won't obtrude on those interested only in Hay's political career it seems to me to be fine. The main political career sections are a model of their kind, the pictures are excellent, the prose is a pleasure and the sourcing is wide and impeccably cited. Very happy to support. – Tim riley talk 17:17, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks for that. I read the bios and I agonize over what to leave out, I'm afraid.--Wehwalt (talk) 18:16, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

Captions that aren't complete sentences shouldn't end in periods
File:John_Hay_Vanity_Fair_24_June_1897.jpg: download link is dead
File:John_Hay_by_John_Singer_Sargent.jpg needs US PD tag
File:John_Hay_Bust.jpg: what is the licensing status of the bust itself? Nikkimaria (talk) 20:50, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Those things are fixed. Thank you.--Wehwalt (talk) 16:40, 3 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Sources review

~~The refs in notes e and f should be standardized~~

They look the same to me. Can you clarify?

I see now that e and f are in the same format as the other footnote refs (although different from the general citation format). I have struck. Brianboulton (talk) 19:58, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, I do that to avoid generating a footnote number that can look discontinuous.--Wehwalt (talk) 21:43, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Ref 129 needs pp
Ditto 161
Journals: check alphabetic order
The 2-volume 1915 edition of Thayer's Life and Letters has an OCLC no. 445576

Otherwise, all sources look of appropriate quality and reliability, and are properly and consistently formatted. Brianboulton (talk) 14:12, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Except as noted, those things are done. Thank you for your review.--Wehwalt (talk) 14:29, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support, unreservedly. A couple of things:
''Helen relocated to Salem in 1830 to teach school" -- Is this AmEng? "Helen relocated to Salem in 1830 to become a teacher", or "Helen relocated to Salem in 1830 to teach at a school" sounds more familiar to me. I am no expert in the differences in dialect between blighty and the states, so I plead ignorance if this is correct.
Should "Vanity Fare" in the 1897 image be in Itals? Cassianto ^talk 21:47, 6 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"Teach school" is acceptable American English. I've made the other change. Thank you very much for the review.--Wehwalt (talk) 00:02, 7 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support, with a few minor quibbles:

"It was Milton Hay's desire that his nephew..." might be better as "Milton Hay desired that his nephew..." or "Milton Hay thought his nephew should..."
"Hay and Nicolay divided their responsibilities, with Nicolay tending to assist Lincoln in his office and in meetings, while Hay dealt with the correspondence, that was very large." Not sure what you're saying here. Were the responsibilities large, or the correspondence?
"Hayes's in the election left Hay an outsider as he sought a return to politics, and he was initially offered no place in the new administration." I think a word is missing here.
"That choice was bitterly opposed by Senator Hanna, who..." might read better as "Senator Hanna bitterly opposed that choice, but he..."
"Hay submitted his resignation, that was refused by McKinley." might read better as "Hay submitted his resignation, which McKinley refused."
I made a few minor edits, too. Feel free to revert if you think any of them change the meaning of what you wrote. This is an excellent article -- good luck! --Coemgenus (talk) 13:28, 7 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, and thanks for the review. I've dealt with those matters. He didn't like your friend Bayard, by the way, describing him as crying as he left and being unctuous to the British.--Wehwalt (talk) 17:41, 7 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Ha! He's right, Bayard was the worst! --Coemgenus (talk) 17:48, 7 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.