Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Jennifer Connelly/archive1

Jennifer Connelly

Nominator(s): GDuwenTell me! 22:20, 22 March 2011 (UTC) --Gunt50 (talk) 22:27, 22 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I have worked along with Gunt50 in this article for a few months. The content is comprehensive in the topic and the article was corrected by the Guild of Copy Editors and was also reviewed in a Peer review. GDuwenTell me! 22:20, 22 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose - I appreciate the work you've put into this article, but I don't feel it yet meets the FA criteria. Some examples of issues (note: these are examples only):

Use of questionable sources, for example this and this
- I replaced all sites that we considered unreliable. --Gunt50 (talk) 21:29, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Inconsistent reference formatting, missing information, etc - for example, all web citations should include both a publisher name and a retrieval date
Image problems - for example, the FUR for File:Monologue_of_Love_Jennifer_Connelly.jpg is erroneous
Manual of Style problems - for example, problems with wikilinking, hyphenation/dashes, etc
Prose problems - needs further copy-editing for grammar and clarity. Examples: "a teenager on a quest to rescue little brother Toby, from goblin's world, ruled by King Jareth" - grammar; "She was represented by Ford modeling agency" - capitalization; "a film role as Deborah Gelly, a supporting role in Sergio Leone's 1984 gangster epic" - repetitive phrasing

I don't want to be discouraging, but I would suggest you withdraw this FAC to give you more time to work on these issues. Nikkimaria (talk) 23:05, 22 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I want to try to fix the issues you pointed out, I have corrected the phrases you pointed out, and changed the questionable sources. What is the issue with the Fair use rationale with the monologue of love image? In case that is a major one, we can just remove it from the article.--GDuwenTell me! 01:11, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

You're welcome to try, but please keep in mind that the things pointed out above are examples only, and that the article IMO needs a considerable amount of work. Problems with the FUR: source link is dead, image is not used in "main infobox" as the FUR claims, this is not the article discussing the work but the artist. Nikkimaria (talk) 01:19, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I have corrected the FUR, I understand that those were only some examples but after copy editing and a peer review sincerely if neither, the users that did the review, me or the other nominator did not see the issues we need some BIG TIME extra help.--GDuwenTell me! 01:29, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose. This article is a way from being ready and at the least needs a good copyedit. Some examples:

"These appearances led to movie auditions in supporting role as Deborah Gelly ...".
"She next starred in Italian horror-director Dario Argento's 1985 film ...". I'm not familiar with Argento's work, but to call him a "horror-director" seems rather unkind.
"... she appeared in several issues of Seventeen as well as in the Japanese magazine Roadshow and on December 1986 ...". Plus, if "Seventeen" and "Roadshow" are magazines then they need to be italicised.
"She played Sarah, a teenager on a quest to rescue her brother Toby, from goblin's world, ruled by King Jareth (David Bowie)." The punctuation's all over the place there. So her brother was from goblin's world? If that's a place, then why isn't it capitalised?

Malleus Fatuorum 01:02, 24 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Me and user:GDuwen decided to withdraw the article fromthe candidates' list to improve it for the next time. --Gunt50 (talk) 02:07, 24 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]