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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Effects of Hurricane Dean in the Greater Antilles/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by User:SandyGeorgia 01:36, 16 September 2008 [1].

Effects of Hurricane Dean in the Greater Antilles edit

Nominator(s): Plasticup T/C


I am nominating this article for featured article status to fill out the Hurricane Dean topic. With Meteorological history of Hurricane Dean already an FA and the other three sections at GA status (Hurricane Dean, Effects of Hurricane Dean in the Greater Antilles, and Effects of Hurricane Dean in the Lesser Antilles), one more FA will qualify the topic. Plasticup T/C 13:45, 2 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Otherwise sources look okay, links check out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 15:24, 2 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks, those two are updated now. The references in this article were a huge pain because after about three months tons of the links went dead. It took me ages to track down new references. Plasticup T/C 16:22, 2 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments The article needs a copyedit and some work in general. Some examples:
  • The lead consists mostly of storm history, preparations and aftermath. Some more impact would be nice.
  • A tropical storm watch was issued for the south coast of the Dominican Republic at 0300 UTC August 17.[1] On August 17 this tropical storm watch was upgraded to a tropical storm warning. Wouldn't "On August 17" be better as "Later that day" or something similar?
  • 1,580 people were evacuated as the storm approached. Don't start sentences with numerical characters.
  • The Haitian coastal authority advised all small craft to stay on port, while at Port-au-Prince, all flights to southern Haiti from Toussaint Louverture International Airport were canceled. "on port" → "in port".
  • On August 19, 19 schools and civic centers were converted to shelters "19, 19"...
  • The massive storm's winds, rains, and storm surge endangered life and property throughout the island chain. Wikilink storm surge
  • Rough surf destroyed at least five houses along the southern coast[39] and damaged 316. Keep numbers consistent.
  • 40% of the sugarcane crop, 80-100% of the banana crop, 75% of the coffee trees under three years old, and 20% of the top layer of the cocoa crop were lost to the storm. Don't start sentences with digits, and "80-100%" should be an en dash.
  • She and her party ultimately did lose the election, although Dean's fortunately light damage was not thought to have been a major factor. Irrelevant.

Also, I'd like to see some more impact, particularly for Jamaica. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 16:36, 3 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

All done, except the last comment about the Jamaican election. We have to include the bit about the postponing election, which naturally brings up the accusations that the hurricane was being used to further Ms. Simpson-Miller's political goals. I trust you have no problem with that. To put those sentences in context it is important to know that the election wasn't looking good for the desperate Prime Minister Simpson-Miller. To simply end the paragraph there leaves a cliffhanger. Plasticup T/C 21:27, 4 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
That's fine. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 01:06, 7 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose from Dabomb87 (talk · contribs). I'm kind of surprised to see so many routine errors in an article from a WikiProject that regularly produces some of the highest-quality articles on the 'pedia. It really does need a good comb-through. Some issues:

Both redundant and removed. I'm surprised that I missed them. Plasticup T/C 03:22, 10 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • First instance of US$ needs to be linked to appropriate article.—This is part of a comment by Dabomb87 , which was interrupted by the following:
To quote the MOS: it is generally unnecessary to link the symbols of well-known currencies. Plasticup T/C 03:22, 10 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for that, I'll remember that for future reference. Dabomb87 (talk) 03:08, 11 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Rain from Hurricane Dean closed several roads throughout Puerto Rico and there was heavy surf along the island's coast, but no deaths or injuries were reported." Did the rain literally close the roads?—This is part of a comment by Dabomb87 , which was interrupted by the following:
Can our readers understand idioms? Plasticup T/C 03:22, 10 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I suppose, although remember that the readers of this article might not be native speakers. Dabomb87 (talk) 03:08, 11 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
That doesn't make it a less correct usage of the English language. If foreign speakers have trouble understanding this page then they should try Simple English Wikipedia. Plasticup T/C 02:16, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Alright, I'll take that. Dabomb87 (talk) 02:46, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Some accused Prime Minister Portia Simpson-Miller of unnecessarily extending the state of emergency (and related curfews) to maintain her political control"—Who is "some" referring to?—This is part of a comment by Dabomb87 , which was interrupted by the following:
Clarified. Plasticup T/C 03:22, 10 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "USD$398,000". Take out the D.—This is part of a comment by Dabomb87 , which was interrupted by the following:
Done. Plasticup T/C 03:22, 10 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Venezuela delivered 11 tonnes of emergency food to the South-East Department in the form of 500 family bags."—This is part of a comment by Dabomb87 , which was interrupted by the following:
Done. Plasticup T/C 03:22, 10 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The National Housing Trust also made $200 million available to the Hurricane Relief Fund." What type of dollars?—This is part of a comment by Dabomb87 , which was interrupted by the following:
Jamaican. Clarified. Plasticup T/C 03:22, 10 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "With the help of JA$1.1 billion (US$15.5 million) of aid from the EU's Banana Support Programme, thousands of acres were replanted." Why is this the only time that JA$ is converted?—This is part of a comment by Dabomb87 , which was interrupted by the following:
Good point. Plasticup T/C 03:22, 10 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "On Gonâve Island, power was cut to thousands of people, and some took shelter in schools and churches." I don't understand: "cut to"?—This is part of a comment by Dabomb87 , which was interrupted by the following:
Re-worded. Plasticup T/C 03:22, 10 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "As such, the storm caused no major problems with water and sanitation,[47] except in the town of Bainet, population 17,000, where the temperamental water system was compromised." I think "as such" could be changed to thus. On another note, the listing of the population of the town seems random and unnecessary.—This is part of a comment by Dabomb87 , which was interrupted by the following:
What is wrong with "as such"? I believe that it is being used correctly. And the population is relevant in that it defines the scope of the problem. If a town of 5 million people lost its water supply the problem would be rather different than in this town of 17,000. Plasticup T/C 03:22, 10 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "12 hours later, at 0300 UTC August 19, as Hurricane Dean continued to track west towards the islands, the hurricane watch was upgraded to a hurricane warning." No digits at the start of a sentence.—This is part of a comment by Dabomb87 , which was interrupted by the following:
Re-cast. Plasticup T/C 03:22, 10 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The most sever damage was to the agricultural sector" Typo: add e to the end of severe.

Dabomb87 (talk) 02:40, 10 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed. Plasticup T/C 03:22, 10 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "2000 people weathered the storm in temporary shelters." Again, no numbers at start of sentence. I see other sentences like this but you should look through the whole article yourself to make sure that there are no sentences with digits at the beginning.—This is part of a comment by Dabomb87 (of 03:25, 11 September 2008), which was interrupted by the following:
The reason that WP:MOSNUM gives for this is since using figures risks the period being read as a decimal point or abbreviation mark. If there is a citation after the preceding period then this danger is erased and the number is safe, right? That's not a rhetorical question, by the way; more input is welcome. Plasticup T/C 02:09, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I feel the MOS is vague on that. Your reasoning is fine with me; however, I think the more important issue is consistency. It would be strange to see some sentences with numbers spelled out and others with digits. It's your call. Dabomb87 (talk) 02:46, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
For the most part I just rearranged the sentences to move the numbers away from the beginning. I didn't ever spell out "five-thousand and twenty-seven" or anything like that, so it should be consistent. Plasticup T/C 03:33, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The Jamaican government finalized evacuation plans, including making the country's national arena a shelter, and relocating inmates from two maximum security prisons." How about: "The Jamaican government finalized evacuation plans, which included converting the country's national arena into a shelter and relocating inmates from two maximum security prisons."—This is part of a comment by Dabomb87 , which was interrupted by the following:
Done. Plasticup T/C 02:26, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Curfews were put in place for some parts of the island, while and off-duty essential personnel were called back to work." "Parts" leads readers to infer that only some had curfews. —This is part of a comment by Dabomb87 , which was interrupted by the following:
Done. Plasticup T/C 02:26, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Image captions that are not complete sentences should not have periods at the end.—This is part of a comment by Dabomb87 , which was interrupted by the following:
A good Samaritan did this for me. Plasticup T/C 02:26, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Additionally a hurricane watch was issued from Cabo Beata to the Haitian border." I think there should be a comma after "Additionally". When I read the sentence aloud, it sounds more natural that way.—This is part of a comment by Dabomb87 , which was interrupted by the following:
Yep. Plasticup T/C 02:26, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "International organizations from all over the world contributed to the subsequent recovery effort." Doesn't the word "International" infer that the organizations come from all over the world.—This is part of a comment by Dabomb87 , which was interrupted by the following:
Not really. They could be international but only from the Caribbean. I'll see if I can think of a better way to word it though. Plasticup T/C 02:26, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Perhaps specify the region that the organizations came from. Dabomb87 (talk) 02:46, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
How about "Global aid organizations contributed to the subsequent recovery effort"? Plasticup T/C 03:33, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
OK. Dabomb87 (talk) 12:05, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "On August 18 the hurricane watch was adjusted to a hurricane warning." "Adjusted"-->changed.

Dabomb87 (talk) 03:25, 11 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I went with "upgraded", which shows that the warning is more serious than the watch. Good catch though. Plasticup T/C 02:29, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Good fix. Dabomb87 (talk) 02:46, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Fortunately, and despite a number of near misses, Hurricane Dean did not make landfall in the Greater Antilles and the islands were spared the storm's worst strengths." Is there a better phrase than "storm's worst strengths"? Maybe "brunt of the storm"?
Changed. Plasticup T/C 21:35, 13 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Three were killed in Jamaica, which also experienced the heaviest damages: initial estimates of US$1.5 billion were revised to approximately US$310 million." Seems contradictory; the first phrase emphasizes that Jamaica experienced the most damage, then the second phrase talks about the major downward revision of the damages.
How about "Three were killed in Jamaica, which also suffered US$310 million of damage—the heaviest in the Caribbean."? Plasticup T/C 21:35, 13 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Will do. Dabomb87 (talk) 01:15, 14 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • The above two issues are things that I found during a copy-edit of the lead. If you don't like the other changes, feel free to revert them. Dabomb87 (talk) 15:03, 13 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I've done another read-through and I haven't seen anything worth changing. Are there any other problems jumping out at you? Plasticup T/C 00:13, 15 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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