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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Eddie Gerard/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 30 April 2019 [1].

Eddie Gerard edit

Nominator(s): Kaiser matias (talk) 23:43, 14 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

An early ice hockey player and another in my long-term series to get the inaugural Hockey Hall of Fame class to FA, Gerard played 10 years in the 1910s and 1920s, retired due to health reasons, and coached for a few more years before again retiring due to health, dying early from the same ailment. A strong smart defender, he was well-known during his time but is largely unknown today, though he is the answer to an obscure piece of hockey trivia (first player to win the Stanley Cup four years in a row). Kaiser matias (talk) 23:43, 14 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

  • Suggest adding alt text
Added alt-text.
  • File:Ottawa_Senators,_1914-1915.jpg: when/where was this first published? Nikkimaria (talk) 01:49, 20 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
I'd have to do some looking, but it's copyright is expired according to Library and Archives Canada, shouldn't that be enough to make it useable? Kaiser matias (talk) 16:41, 21 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Sources review edit

  • No spotchecks carried out
  • Links: In the bibliography, the link to "Canada's Sports Hall of Fame" is returning "page not found" error. Other source links are all working
  • Formats
  • "Canadian Press (April 2, 1923) is listed as a source but I can find no citations to it.
  • Likewise, "Hockey Hall of Fame: (Eddie Gerard Stats) is listed but not cited as far as I can see.
  • I suggest, for consistency with Podniaks, that the Shea and Wilson publisher is recorded as "Fenn Publishing"

Subject to the above, I believe that in terms of presentation, quality and reliability the sources meet the required FA standards. Brianboulton (talk) 19:42, 25 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for looking those over, they've all been addressed. Kaiser matias (talk) 19:29, 27 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

SC edit

Lead
  • "he quit the sport": I'm not sure "quit" is the best word to use. "retired from" seems a bit premature, but "Left", perhaps?
  • "Well-renown during his hockey-playing career": This may be an oddity of Canadian English, but "Well-renowned" would be more natural to me.
Personal
  • "George Washington, who was born on the same day": I know what you mean, but Washington wasn't born in 1890.
  • "He was married" Who? You've listed Joliat and the four brothers in the previous sentence so it's unclear you mean Gerard.
  • "was chief engineering clerk for the survey": the last three words are superfluous
  • Any idea what the "throat ailment" was? (I presume not, as you've not stated it, but I have to ask!)
  • It's a bit odd to read about his retirements and death before we've started on his career
Outside of hockey
  • "Outside of hockey": this may well be an Engvar thing, but my British eye winces on the construction, which I would expect to see as "Outside hockey". If this is a usual CanEng thing, please ignore me.
  • "Gerard was regarded": by who? As you've given a quoted opinion, it's best to identify "Canada's Sports Hall of Fame regards Gerard as..., etc". You should also put a citation straight after the quote as we don't know which if the two at the sentence end provides it
  • That's a long first sentence – it could stand being split after "youth".
  • I'm not really concerned about it, but someone will pick up on citations being in order [7][1] should be the other way round (and worth checking the rest too)
  • Two "also"s in two sentences give the appearance that these are afterthoughts ("oh, and another thing...") Certainly the first one isn't needed
Early hockey

I haven't reviewed this section, but "C$$1,000" caught my eye

  • Oppose. I've not given this a thorough going over yet, but a quick read of the first couple of sections gives me cause for concern on the prose and whether it has been proof-read thoroughly enough. Things like "C$$1,000" suggest that this may not have been checked enough. I see this hasn't been through a Peer Review, and I suggest withdrawing, taking it through PR and then bringing it back when the prose is a bit more polished. - SchroCat (talk) 09:17, 29 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for taking a look. Have to say I'm a little embarrassed now, and honestly thought I had it looked over at WP:GOCE, though that would have been a different article. Normally I'd be bold and say I would go through it and clean up while the FAC is ongoing, but that is not going to work right now, so I'll ask to Withdraw it. I'll put in some work and come back with it cleaner and properly ready. Kaiser matias (talk) 00:56, 30 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Please let me know when it comes back and I'll happily review again - he looks an interesting guy. Sending up the batsignal to the @FAC coordinators: to highlight the withdrawal. Cheers. - SchroCat (talk) 09:50, 30 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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