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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Ed, Edd n Eddy (season 1)/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by GrahamColm 10:02, 31 March 2013 (UTC) [1].[reply]

Ed, Edd n Eddy (season 1) edit

Ed, Edd n Eddy (season 1) (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

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Nominator(s): Khanassassin ☪ 19:52, 17 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The article passed GAN, and after giving it some more polish, I believe it's FA status-worthy. :) Khanassassin ☪ 19:52, 17 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Gen. Quon I mostly did a prose check. I feel that, for a potential FA, there are still quite a few issues with this. After fixing the below issues, I'd recommend a couple copy-edits, as there were a lot of missing words and confused grammar:

  • "In the pursuit of buying jawbreakers and fitting in with the other kids, dimwitted Ed and intellectual Edd aid the self-appointed leader, Eddy, in his plans to scam the other children in their cul-de-sac out of their money during a perpetual summer vacation..." The use of their is ambiguous. Are the Eds scamming the neighborhood kids, or are they scamming themselves.
  • "The other children mostly dislike or show indifference to the Eds..." -> "The other children mostly dislike or show indifference toward the Eds..."
  • "...was bothered by people thinking animation is only for children." I feel the "is" should be was, since the action took place in the past.
    • I believe that even today, people thinking animation is "kids stuff" is still an issue, facing it myself, so I personally think the "is" should remain. --Khanassassin ☪ 12:56, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In turn, he decided to create edgy adult work..." -> "In turn, he decided to create edgy adult works" (needed an 's')
    • Done.
  • "After Antonucci was dared to produce a children cartoon, he accepted." -> This is in the passivem, so it leaves out who did the daring. Do we know? It probably should be "[Insert name] later dared Antonucci to produce a children cartoon, a challanged he accepted." If no name can be found, the sentence should read: "Antonucci was soon dared to produce a children cartoon, and he later accepted the challenge."
    • The "[Insert name]" is unknown, so I'm going with option #2. --Khanassassin ☪ 12:56, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Designing a commercial..." I would say "While he was designing a commercial..."
  • "Antonucci sent a one-page fax..." What kind of fax? A letter? A pitch bible? A concept sheet?
    Antonucci calls it just a "one-page fax", but on it is a drawing of the three Eds with "Puberty is unforgiving" written at the bottom... So, I don't really know how to refer to that. :) --Khanassassin ☪ 12:56, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    Hmmm, maybe you could say "character sheet" or something. I think fax is kind of vague.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 02:37, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    Concept sheet, I think would be best. If you agree... Done. --Khanassassin ☪ 15:04, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "After they agreed to let Antonucci have control of the show, conversations between Antonucci and the studio continued." Who are 'they'? (I assume Cartoon Network, but you never say). Also, which studio? (Again, I assume CN)
  • "...showed high interested in the series, and..." Minor quibble, but there shouldn't be a comma after 'series', since it doesn't connect with a completel sentence.
  • "A deal was made that Antonucci's studio, a.k.a. Cartoon, would produce Ed, Edd n Eddy the first Cartoon Network original series to be produced by an outside production company rather than Cartoon Network's Hanna-Barbera." I think this is missing a conjuction or comma somewhere in here. Maybe break into two sentences?
    • Added a comma after "Ed, Edd n Eddy", I think this solves it. --Khanassassin ☪ 12:56, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "As a result, the series was the last to use cel animation..." This is a minor quibble, again, but I think it should be noted that Adventure Time uses hand-drawn animation, so E, E, n E was probably the last for a time.
    • Perhaps AT was hand-drawn in a different way, rather than "cel animation", or "almost" fully hand-drawn. E,EnE was only colored digitally after the fourth season, cel animation being even colored by hand, but other than that, everything was done by hand, there wasn't any use of 3D or anything "non-hand-drawingness"... So, perhaps, if we don't leave it as "the last", maybe we could just say "one of the last"...? :) --Khanassassin ☪ 12:56, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • You're right. AT uses hand-drawn animation, but not cel animation.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 02:37, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The boling line is create by tracing off..." -> The boling line is created by tracing off..." (needs a 'd' in there)
  • "Antonucci based the characters on real people in his life; the personalities of Ed, Edd, and Eddy..." I think this should be broken into two sentences.
  • "the first season did "remarkably well" in ratings ever since its premiere..." This seems to imply (at least to me) that the series is still airing new episodes. Maybe reword to "the first season did "remarkably well" in ratings following its premiere"
  • "Despite giving the Edifying Ed-Ventures DVD a negative review..." Why did he give the DVD a negative review, yet praise the series?
    • Low amount of episodes, lower video quality compared to previous CN DVDs, simple extras... - I don't think this should be pointed out too much in the article, as it's an about of the DVD length/episode amount etc., and not about the series. --Khanassassin ☪ 12:56, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "A journalist in Tallahassee, Florida, wrote..." There shouldn't be a comma after 'Florida'.
  • "In the April 19 issue of People, in the crossword puzzle, the clue for No. 45 down was "cartoon show, Ed, ___ n Eddy"." This seesm really, really trivial. I'm not sure if it's that important that a one-off crossword puzzle mentioned the series.
    • The writer of the article from TakeOne, Linda Simensky of Cartoon Network, seemed to think it was important... I don't know really, I'd be pretty happy if my series was in a crossword puzzle, hehe. :) --Khanassassin ☪ 12:56, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • I still don't know. It is pretty trivial. I'll wait to see what others think.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 02:37, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...are miffed..." That's kind of a colloquial word to use there.
  • "The Eds are beat after a bird steals their hard-earned quarter when they spot a passing plane towing a sign advertising Joe's Clubhouse, which inspires them to start a clubhouse and charge for membership, but once again the Kanker Sisters ruin the Eds' plans by taking over the clubhouse before the Eds make any profit." What? This sentence makes zero sense to me. It's very run-ony.
    • The Eds find a quarter (of a dollar), but a bird flies by and takes it with its beak (which results in Eddy's hatered of birds throughout the series). An airplane flies by, with a sign saying "Joe's Clubhouse", so Eddy gets the idea of starting a clubhouse and charging for membership. The Eds go to the cul-de-sac children to "advertise" their new clubhouse, but before they come back, the Kankers take over the clubhouse, which of course means "no money for Eds". Understand? :) --Khanassassin ☪ 13:10, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • This still needs to be rewritten. Try: "The Eds are beat after a bird steals their hard-earned quarter. They soon spot a passing plane towing a sign advertising Joe's Clubhouse, which inspires them to start a club and charge for membership. Once again, however, the Kanker Sisters ruin the Eds' plans by taking over the clubhouse before the Eds make any profit."--Gen. Quon (Talk) 02:37, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Edd has got an early in the morning paper route to save up for an electron microscope." Again, I'm not sure I understand what's going down here.
    • I think I made it clear now - 'Double D' delivers news papers and gets money for it, and of course, this means he can finally buy himself an electron microscope, as he is in fact a... nerd, heh. --Khanassassin ☪ 13:10, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • How about: "Edd is assigned an earlynews paper delivery route to save up for an electron microscope."--Gen. Quon (Talk) 02:37, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...which Eddy uses to control the cul-de-sac children with." I don't want to sound like the 60-year old english teacher, but don't end a sentence with a preposition.
  • "Eddy decides to toughen him up, putting through a training program." Missing a word before 'through'
  • Fixed. --Khanassassin ☪ 12:56, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...and plans mow them for cash." There needs to be a 'to' before 'plans'.
    • Oh my Lord, how could I have written something like this. Shame, oh, the shame! :) Alright, I fixed it. --Khanassassin ☪ 12:56, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...but they are worthless..." Why?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 23:36, 18 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • Uh, it's hard to explain if you haven't seen the episode... they're hard, I guess? --Khanassassin ☪ 13:10, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • I would find a way to explain it. Assume your reader hasn't seen the show.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 02:37, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: Why is this submitted as a Featured Article? To me it seems more appropriate as a Featured List, especially since the Development section focuses on the series itself rather than the season (and should probably be included on the main article rather than this page). Featured Articles are held to a much higher standard and should include more production information. Information about what went into producing these episodes specifically seems non-existant. See Smallville (season 1), Supernatural (season 1), or Supernatural (season 2) for examples of featured articles based on seasons, as opposed to a featured list such as Veronica Mars (season 1). Ωphois 01:53, 25 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Because most of the information about the creation of the series comes from the time of the production of the first season (like the TakeOne article [written during the time of the first season], season 1 DVDs, season 1 reviews etc.), with an exception of the season 2 DVD interview -- but even that interview is pretty much the same as the interview at season 1, just that he reveals a few other details. --Khanassassin ☪ 14:05, 25 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • Oppose: But again, these details pertain to the series and not to the season. Unless episode-specific production information can be added, I have to oppose the nomination because I feel that it is better suited as a featured list. Ωphois 00:19, 26 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • Actually, taking an even closer look, the entire production section is a just copy/paste from the main article. I might be wrong, but I think there is actually a wiki policy against that. As stated above, I suggest this page either be rewritten in the style of the featured articles mentioned above, or gut what has been copied/pasted and submit it as a featured list if the quality is still maintained. Ωphois 00:25, 26 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • The main article's production section is more of a copy-paste of this article's section. :) --Khanassassin ☪ 11:12, 26 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
        • Be that as it may, the purpose of having multiple related articles on a subject is to present different information. This page is pretty much a regurgitation of the main article, with the episode summaries thrown in. I agree with the editor above that the popular culture section seems trivial and unnecessary. Even if it is not deleted though, the section seems more appropriate for the main page than here, as that stuff pertains to the series itself and not just this season specifically. There are also two different sections on the DVD release, when everything should just be combined as prose. The episode summaries are also way too short. They need to summarize everything that happens in the episodes, including the conclusions to the storylines. Sorry, but in its current state, I feel there's no real point of having this page exist. Ωphois 19:36, 27 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
          • Aight, whatever, I withdraw this nominaton. --Khanassassin ☪ 17:00, 30 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
          • Like I said before, you may want to try it under Featured List. A lot less production info is required, if you are unable to find it. The season featured articles that I mentioned above were only possible because they released season companions and magazines that gave detailed info of episodic production. Ωphois 03:05, 31 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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