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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Bizarre Ride II the Pharcyde/archive1

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Bizarre Ride II the Pharcyde edit

Self Nomination/Support. Like my Enta Da Stage article, I scraped together what little information there is about the album from a few interviews and album reviews, so I'd say I did a good job. Very well referenced, thorough, touches everything about it. And don't say anything about the few little unreferenced sections, because those came from the books listed in the Citations section. --PDTantisocial 10:50, 8 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

  • Comment - this can't be an FA until there is fair use rationale for all of those images. Image:Edotmwbox.jpg is a good representation of rationale in case you haven't seen it on other images. gren グレン 11:58, 8 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment - added fair use rationale for images. --PDTantisocial 12:15, 8 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment Too many fair use images, not all sources meet WP:RS. (About.com, for example, is not a reliable source, and there are many others of that "quality".) Sandy 17:09, 8 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    • Further, information from books needs to be inline cited, including page numbers. Sandy 17:10, 8 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment I agree with Sandy with the sources, a decent article on a minor rap album I never heard of, would support if it's fixed, , also I don't think a Personnel section is needed. Thanks Jaranda wat's sup 18:53, 8 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment the two featured album articles both have as many or more fair use images and they got featured, and they both have a personnel section. --PDTantisocial 23:55, 8 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    • Please read the commentary on the individual editor pages recommended at the bottom of WP:WIAFA. It doesn't matter what else might have squeaked by FAC: it's your article we're looking at now. Sandy 00:12, 9 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Changed sources from epinons, about, etc, added inline citations. --PDTantisocial 00:19, 9 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • I don't get how there's too many fair use images, there's only four pictures within the article, that ain't shit. The singles information shouldn't matter, that adds to the quality of the article. --PDTantisocial 00:21, 9 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • I took the two extra album covers off. Now there's only a picture of the four rappers, and a picture of the producer, that's reasonable. --PDTantisocial 02:45, 9 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment. Half of "Critical recognition" consists of two long quotes. I also see a few other long quotes around, some of which one after the other. This is not so nice for the prose. That's what I think. I don't say delete them, but I'd incorporate some of them in the main prose.--Yannismarou 12:09, 9 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Moved the quotes around and mixed them into the text more. --PDTantisocial 01:04, 10 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Can we get some supports/objects here? All I've got is comments (and I've fixed everything stated). --PDTantisocial 01:30, 11 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support: I believe the article meets the criteria. - Tutmosis 16:21, 14 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Object—Not written to the required "professional" standard. Here are random examples from the top. An entire copy-edit is needed, preferably by someone who's unfamiliar with the text.
    • Tense at the opening: "was produced by ...". "... and is today one of the most acclaimed ..."—Remove "today", since it's present tense already.
    • "High School friends"—Why the upper-case S?
    • "J-Swift provided production for ten songs and five interludes, totalling to fifteen of the album's sixteen tracks." Try this: "J-Swift produced 10 songs and five interludes—15 of the album's 16 tracks." Numbers usually better for 10 and above.Tony 13:06, 18 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Object.
    1. In Conception: Please use years as references for the passage of time in the narrative. I thought that it started post-high school until the "after school program" was mentioned.
    2. In Recording: Is the whole J-Swift story needed? It seems that you could get rid of the quote and cut the relevant prose in half and not affect the content relevant to the album.
    3. In Lyrical content: You need some citations, such as for the Rolling Stone quotation. In the phrase "has been described as an extention of the 'Daisy Age'", the person who gave the description should be identified and cited.
    4. In Production: you run into a narrative problem with Recording. J-Swift is described as saying that the members were claiming production credit and quit, but you then write "featured the acclaimed production work of J-Swift". If J-Swift quit, how could he get all the credit for the production? Did the members actually claim production credit or is J-Swift insane? If the other members actually did some production, should some of the credit go to them?
    5. You use the word "unique" twice in this article. Are you 100% sure that you want to make the statement that no other album or group has, before or since, resembled Pharcyde and this album in any significant way?
    6. The lead states "Upon its release, Bizarre Ride was hailed by critics", while Critical recognition states, "At the time of its release, Bizarre Ride received good, though at times unspectacular reviews." One of these contradictory statements must be false and the other needs to be removed.
    7. Some years need to be added to the narrative flow in Alternative hip hop to give the reader some reference. The section is all set up to declare that Pharcyde was the first commercially successful alt hip hop group, and then says "became one of the first successful alternative acts". The "one of" begs for more explanation.
    8. The article has five citations to cduniverse.com, to a page that is selling the album. I noticed the first citation, for the description of the album as "refreshing" in the lead, links to the cduniverse.com, which in turn states that "refreshing" is from a Spin album review. External link citations going to a commercial site to quote reviews that you have not read (I can only assume as you are not citing the actual reviews) and which the article is not stating that it is citing? This is about as wrong as it gets.
    9. The general quality of the citations is quite low. Given that early 1990s hip hop is making it into musical ethnography classes and that study of hip hop is an accepted academic discipline, I find it hard to believe that there aren't some more rigorous sources. I would recommend asking Wikipedia:WikiProject hip hop or the lead contributors at Illmatic if they can suggest any other sources.
    10. The length and number of quotations is unusual. I normally interpret multiple extended quotations as a sign that the writer isn't sure enough of the topic to do their own synthesis and is thus forced to rely on another's words. Please try to cut them down.
I had to start playing Officer when I started reading and I probably haven't thought of Del tha Funkee Homosapien in a decade, so thanks for taking me back. Also, when responding here, please indent as you would on a talk page. I had to do a double take when I first saw this FAC before realizing that there was an interaction. Good luck. - BanyanTree 07:07, 20 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
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