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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/2014 Japanese Grand Prix/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Laser brain via FACBot (talk) 19:59, 5 January 2017 [1].

2014 Japanese Grand Prix edit

Nominator(s): MWright96 (talk) 17:08, 25 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about the 2014 Japanese Grand Prix, a Formula One motor race held on 5 October 2014 at the Suzuka Circuit in Suzuka, Japan. It was the 15th round of that year's season and the 30th running of the event as part of the Formula One World Championship. The 44-lap race, which was affected by Typhoon Phanfone, a category four tyre storm, was won by Mercedes driver Lewis Hamilton. However, the race was overshadowed by a major accident involving Jules Bianchi of the Marussia team in which he collided the rear of the tractor crane which was tending to the recovery of another car. Bianchi remained in a coma until his death nine months later on 17 July 2015. I started working on this article in July, and after an extensive copy-edit from the GOCE in August, I believe it meets the FA criteria. All constructive feedback is welcome. MWright96 (talk) 17:08, 25 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Support – I fixed a few typos and only see one minor issue: reference 4 appears to be dead, or at least is not working for me. Assuming that can be fixed, as Jaguar put it, this is pure FA material. Well done. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 15:24, 26 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

  • Thank you for the support Benjamin. I have removed the dead link since the same issue has reoccurred in the past. MWright96 (talk) 16:21, 26 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Support I rarely quick pass articles but in this case I'd say that this article is flawless both in terms of quality and comprehensiveness. Outstanding work. JAGUAR  12:52, 27 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. - Dank (push to talk)

  • Template:Interlanguage link multi: Consensus seems to be against this template at FAC, and I've converted both links to standard red links. Blue links would be better, if you can create stubs, but a couple of red links won't disqualify this article at FAC. (The template serves as a warning sign that something needs to be fixed. FAC is the place for articles where the things that need to be fixed already have been fixed.)
  • Support on prose per my standard disclaimer. These are my edits. - Dank (push to talk) 15:18, 27 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support Nice article. My only concern is the red link from "Centre Hospitalier Universitaire de Nice" and the length from some section but that's the nitpicking too much. Also, if you have free time, could you check my own nomination.Tintor2 (talk) 12:38, 6 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Zwerg Nase

  • I'd suggest adding at least half a sentence to the lead about what the cause for Bianchi's hospitalization and death were (head injuries). At the moment, all we learn is he crashed, came to the hospital and later died, which comes as a surprise at that point without having learned before that his injuries were very severe.
  • Backgorund: When did Hamilton reclaim the championship lead? That needs to be established.
    • Hamilton reclaimed the championship lead in the preceding Singapore Grand Prix. MWright96 (talk) 17:18, 18 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Apart from these small things, I see no reason why this should not be a Featured Article. Very nice work! Zwerg Nase (talk) 12:43, 18 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments – Sarastro asked me to have a look at the article, and I'm happy with most of what I saw. There were only a handful of things that made me want to comment here. With a couple of exceptions that I note below, I found this to be well-written and can easily see myself supporting.

  • Background: The third paragraph could use a Sebastian Vettel link, unless there's one earlier that I missed.
  • The link to 2015 Formula One season in the last paragraph is what's known as an easter egg link; it looks like a bare year link to the reader, and it could be made clearer that it is a high-value link. This could be phrased "at Toro Rosso in the 2015 season", which would fix the linking issue.
  • Race: The end of the second paragraph here reads like a long list, because it is one. Unless something really notable happened in the back of the field, how would you feel about limiting the running order to the top 10 cars, like was done in the practice summary?
    • Hmm, I've seen it in another Formula One FA but have no objection. MWright96 (talk) 06:58, 25 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • The end of the third paragraph mentions 130R, which comes off as jargon to a non-racing fan. If possible, consider providing a brief explanation of what kind of turn this is (at least I assume it's a turn).
  • The lead says "The race ended prematurely on lap 46, when Jules Bianchi made contact..." with Sutil's care. However, the body implies the incident occurred on lap 43, and the caption gives that lap number. From reading between the lines, it seems like there were a couple of laps run before the second red flag came out. If I'm right, shouldn't the lead read "after Jules Bianchi made contact..."? If not, the article doesn't actually say the crash was on lap 46, just that the race was stopped then. At the very least, the caption would need to be fixed.
    • Reworded to clarify that Bianchi's crash occurred on the race's 43rd lap and it was prematurely ended three laps later. MWright96 (talk) 06:58, 25 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Race Note 1: Another minor point, but "his" could be inserted into "added to race time" to make the note read better. Giants2008 (Talk) 22:50, 24 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Giants2008: Thank you for taking the time to review. I have the edits that have been suggested. MWright96 (talk) 06:58, 25 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

  • Support – As I said earlier, this is a fine article overall and I think it deserves the star. Giants2008 (Talk) 21:14, 28 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Image and source review

  • Everything is properly licensed for this article. Source review coming soon. --Laser brain (talk) 19:46, 5 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • Sources look good, no faults found. --Laser brain (talk) 19:52, 5 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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