Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/2010–11 Temple Owls men's basketball team/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by SandyGeorgia 12:05, 18 August 2011 [1].

2010–11 Temple Owls men's basketball team

Featured article candidates/2010–11 Temple Owls men's basketball team/archive1

Nominator(s): ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 01:40, 8 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article because I ran it through peer review and I think it meets the criteria. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 01:40, 8 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose - I appreciate the work that's been done on this article but I don't feel it currently meets the FA criteria. Here are some specific concerns:

WP:MOS issues: "%" should be spelled out in article text, hyphen/dash issues, etc
- Done. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 21:43, 9 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Maintain an encyclopedic tone at all times - avoid constructions like "Temple fell to the Blue Devils 78-61, as Kyle Singler broke out of a shooting slump to score 28 points for Duke. Lavoy Allen's 17 points and 13 rebounds were not enough to stop a second half Duke run that blew the game open"
- See below. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 03:30, 15 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Reference formatting needs to be more consistent
- I fail to see the inconsistancy. Please show me. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 03:30, 15 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
FUR for the logo needs expanding
- Done. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:26, 17 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Given the length of the article, the lead should be at least 3 paragraphs per WP:LEAD
- Done. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 21:38, 17 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Don't use characters like "&" in section headings. Nikkimaria (talk) 14:57, 8 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Done. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 21:57, 17 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose – Originally was just going to check the source reliability, and that looked fine. I then decided to peek at part of the article, and unfortunately ran into the unencyclopedic tone mentioned above. I'll give some examples, which I believe cause this to not meet the criteria at this time...

"Despite losing by 15 at the half, Maryland staged a huge comeback...".
"but his backcourt mates Corey Stokes and Maalik Wayns lit up the scoreboard...".
"Fernandez also missed the January 12 matchup against St. Bonaventure, but the Owls destroyed the Bonnies nonetheless".
"The Owls blew the game open with a 16–0 run in the second half and shot 56 percent on the game."
"The Owls creamed La Salle 96–76".
"Juan Fernandez had a miserable shooting night, going 3 for 17."
"Aztec star Kawhi Leonard stole the ball from Khalif Wyatt and his uncontested dunk proved to be the dagger."

All of these resemble the sports recaps that I read every day. While I enjoy reading them, articles on Wikipedia that imitate them just come across as informal, and that's what's happening here. Giants2008 (27 and counting) 00:28, 14 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

- Just wondering how I can keep the prose fresh, without simple "Allen scored 16 points. Moore scored 15 points. Temple won, 73-57." That stuff is boring, yo. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 03:30, 15 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.