Wikipedia:April Fools/April Fools' Day 2023/Mobile Offshore Abortion Clinic
 | This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous. Such material is not meant to be taken seriously. |
| Mobile Offshore Abortion Clinic | |
|---|---|
| Geography | |
| Location | 4 miles south of and off the coast of Gulf Shores, Alabama, not in a state, United States |
| Organization | |
| Care system | Abortion |
| History | |
| Opened | 2023 |
| Links | |
| Lists | Hospitals in the United States |
The Mobile Offshore Abortion Clinic, sometimes abbreviated MOAC, is an abortion clinic four miles south of the coast of Gulf Shores, Alabama and 41 miles southeast of Mobile. The abortion clinic was founded in 2023 nearly a year after the Dobbs v. Jackson ruling in June 2022 ruling that abortion was no longer legal in all 50 U.S. states, resulting in a pre-Roe law prohibiting abortion in Alabama taking effect again. Before the MOAC was established, the closest abortion clinic to much of Alabama, including Mobile, was in Tallahassee, Florida, over 200 miles away. If Florida and Georgia ban abortion, the closest would be in Carbondale, Illinois and Asheville, North Carolina, almost 400 miles away. [1]
Alabama's state boundary ends three nautical miles (3.45 miles, 5.56 km) south of its barrier islands. Outside this boundary, the water is part of the United States but not part of any state. As abortion laws are decided at the state level, there are no restrictions on abortion offshore. As islands are considered part of the state, the abortion clinic is on a large boat with commuter ferries leading to and from it every thirty minutes from 6:00 AM to 10:30 PM. The MOAC is the closest abortion clinic to much of Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana, and eastern Texas including Houston. If Florida and Georgia ban abortion, it will also be the closest abortion clinic to much of those two states.
The boat used for MOAC was built in 2019. It was and still is owned by the current owner of the clinic.
Operations edit
Mobile Offshore Abortion Clinic only performs abortions. As the clinic is on a boat, where the water is moving, the procedure causes 2.3 times more issues than at other abortion clinics. The hospital performs an average of 272 abortions per day, of which slightly greater than two thirds are from Alabama residents.
Some people take advantage of not being in any state to perform other actions that are illegal in Alabama. Online sports betting is common, which the clinic allows. While MOAC does not serve alcoholic beverage, some people have brought alcohol with them to drink while outside the state, as the law requiring being at least 21 to drink alcohol only applies in states. A few unused rooms in the hospital are occasionally used for prostitution, which is against the clinic's terms of service but not against the law.
Criticism and attempts to shut down the abortion clinic edit
State legislators in Alabama have tried to expand Alabama's water rights from 3 nautical miles to 9 as Florida's Gulf Coast and Texas have already done, which would place the clinic inside Alabama and make abortions illegal there. The bill is still in committee. In addition to opposing abortion, critics cite the increased risk compared to other abortion clinics and the boat being a safe haven for prostitution. A few far-right commentators have claimed that a sex trafficking ring exists, but there is no evidence for this, and MOAC has said that any form of prostitution other than between consenting adults is reported to the police, as it is a federal crime even outside state boundaries.
Some critics on the left have criticized the lack of workers' rights, as laws related to work are decided by the states, not the federal government. Some doctors are required to work 10 or 11 hours per day all seven days per week. In addition, many workers who aren't doctors, such as the snack bar workers, are being paid only $5.00 per hour, as federal minimum wage laws requiring $7.25 per hour only apply inside the 50 states and Washington, D.C.
Anyone who misses the last ferry from the clinic to the mainland at 10:15 PM is required to stay there overnight until the next morning's first ferry arrives at 6:15 AM. People report that there are no sleeping accommodations, and people have to sleep on bare wood. Conversely, some homeless people intentionally sleep there rather than on the mainland. An incident occured where a doctor and her patient missed the last ferry because the procedure was taking a long time. The doctor attempted to swim four miles to the mainland rather than wait overnight, and she died of hypothermia.
A few have criticized the decision to keep a boat permanently in a hurricane-prone area, but the boat creator has said that the boat is well built to withstand hurricanes.
Leprechaun sightings edit
On St. Patrick's Day 2023, several residents reported seeing the Crichton Leprechaun on a nearby sailboat. Further investigations revealed the witnesses were most likely inebriated and possibly on psychedelic drugs.