XiuyeYu
This user is a student editor in Northeastern_University/Online_Communities_(2019-1-SP) . |
XiuyeYu, you are invited to the Teahouse!
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Hi XiuyeYu! Thanks for contributing to Wikipedia. We hope to see you there!
Delivered by HostBot on behalf of the Teahouse hosts 16:03, 12 January 2019 (UTC) |
Welcome
editHi! -Reagle (talk) 17:51, 15 January 2019 (UTC)
Welcome!
editHello, XiuyeYu, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:14, 16 January 2019 (UTC)
Reply
editHi. It looks like User:Shalor (Wiki Ed) is the Wikipedia expert assigned to your class. While she may be able to help a bit with your writing and grammar, it's much better to approach someone from your university's writing center, which should have experts who can work with you. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:09, 1 April 2019 (UTC)
Notes
editHi, I have some notes on your draft:
- This needs editing for tone. Some of this is written in a subjective tone, such as saying that the burgers are made from the finest beef. We can say that they claim to use the highest beef, but saying it outright makes it an absolute statement and can come across as us having an opinion on the quality of the meat. Things like that are also something that can come across as a a promotional statement, as it's something that the marketing company would say to get people into the store to eat their food.
- This needs more sourcing to back up claims and establish notability. You have sources from the LA Times and Eater LA, both of which are fine, but it would be good to find more sourcing from other outlets, especially if there is coverage from places outside of LA. Thrillist should be good - it covers the store in a paragraph, which could be useful. This book source could also be useful, as could this.
The main thing that I want you to work on is the tone - the sourcing you have should generally be fine as far as moving live goes, but the tone would be the main thing that people would look at. I'm concerned that it could be tagged. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:08, 1 April 2019 (UTC)