User talk:VJOSHI22/sandbox

Draft feedback

Plan is very well thought out - good job.

Writing is well done. My only suggestion would be to avoid an informal tone which you sometimes slip into, for example in this sentence:

"This makes mutations in the p53 gene highly deleterious and, in fact, some mutations in the p53 gene have a selective advantage for a broad range of different cancers."

Getting rid of "in fact" would improve the tone of this sentence. Also avoid starting out a sentence this way; this sounds like it should be a continuation of the last sentence, so maybe find a way to join them together with a semicolon so they sound a bit more cohesive. An updated version could look like this:

"The tumour suppressor protein, p53 is vital to normal cell function and growth; this makes mutations in the p53 gene highly deleterious. Certain mutations in the p53 gene result in a selective advantage for a broad range of different cancers."

Overall great start!

Vellichor (talk) 05:47, 5 November 2015 (UTC)