Tyreid1
| This user is a student editor in MHS/English_1301_(Fall_2017) . |
Welcome!
editHello, Tyreid1, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:30, 11 December 2017 (UTC)
Draft article
editHi - I was checking on your draft and I'm very concerned that it's written as a persuasive essay rather than an encyclopedia article. The article directly petitions its readers to see things in a specific viewpoint, which goes against Wikipedia's neutral point of view guidelines. It also contains original research on your part, as you are drawing on a source and making your own conclusions. Another issue is that the source you have used would not be seen as a neutral, reliable source since it's a self-published blog that has a very specific viewpoint on the matter - that the drinking age should be raised. This would pose an issue even if the draft was not an essay, as someone could argue that you were cherrypicking sources in order to support a specific viewpoint.
As far as essays go this is definitely a very passionately written speech and I can easily tell that you put your heart into it, but this just isn't suitable for Wikipedia. I feel a little bad writing that, but this is something that if you were to post live, would be nominated for deletion fairly quickly, sorry. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:42, 11 December 2017 (UTC)